Customer Reviews

Neon Maniacs [VHS]

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

There is one virtue in having a movie that just jumps headlong into a mindless and disoriented story---at least there's no slow beginning to put you to sleep. Not coincidentally, this is the case with Neon Maniacs, a movie that involves a little maniac but virtually no neon. I remember as a young lad of about sixteen seeing bits and pieces of this movie, and since I had never again endeavored to look for it, until, by happenstance, now, I had begun to believe the movie to be something mythic. But no, it's real, right down to the latex masks. Apparently, these cataclysmic goons live inside a bridge, and they have a deck of Tarot cards with their likenesses. The Neon Maniacs are the Village People of the Horror world. You have Samurai Maniac, Biker Maniac, Army Maniac, Doctor Maniac, Indian Maniac, Monkey Maniac, Crossbow Maniac, Robo-Maniac, and the list just goes on and on.

Earlier on (like in the first five minutes) you have this pretty high school girl emerge unscathed from the massacre of her friends by the Neon Maniacs, because the Maniacs are chased away just before they can finish the last girl, by rain, because the Maniacs, for reasons unknown, turn to green slush when they come in contact with water. So, the pretty girl, the sole survivor, bravely goes back to school, where she is pestered about the disappearance of her friends, and then suspended from school because she claims monsters (the nefarious Neon Maniacs) as the culprits. Fortunately, her time spent lounging around the house gives us the opportunity to see her poolside in a bikini. Hoo-wah! Anyhoo, eventually she teams up with her boyfriend and a younger horror-fan girl, and they prepare to do battle with the Maniacs. This improvised warfare involves ponderously complicated strategies like water guns and fire hoses, and at one point, one of the Maniacs is actually driven back by a spilled cup plastic cup of beer or something. At one point, the younger horror fan expeditiously fires a hose at the Straight Jacket Maniac, and knocks his head clean off, like a pop-top on a big can of puke-colored slime. Throw into the action the big highschool "Battle of the Bands", featuring Jerkweed and the Sissy Mary Combo, and Twisted Sister Reject Band with the Loverboy rip-off lead singer. Oh, wait a minute, did I forget to mention that this move takes place in the very hairspray vortex of the 80's? This of course adds an additional level of difficulty to the old cheez-o-meter. But, guys, stay with me. Hang in there; I know you can do it. Skip back to the bikini scene if you have to, but keep at it.

In short, if you like horrible movies, you will love this movie. It has pretty much all of the key elements: Indiscernible plot, terrible acting, terrible music, Space Giants special effects and a pretty girl just to keep it interesting. More than that, the DVD is pretty inexpensive, so I personally cannot see any flaw in the equation.

Neon Maniacs takes me back to my younger days when late night television was a veritable smorgasboard of underrated and highly enjoyable B horror films. This film makes me long for the days of USA Saturday Nightmares and TNT Monstervision. Set in San Francisco, this far fetched tale of crazed monsters on the rampage is a great way to recall those low budget horror masterpieces from the 80's. If you are looking for a film with big name actors, highly developed storylines, and million dollar FX then this film is probably not for you! If, however, you are searching for a fun way to waste some well earned R&R and love this film genre then look no farther than Neon Maniacs. For anyone who is a fan of B horror films I give this film 4 stars, and highly recommend it!

This movie has everything you need to make a great '80s horror film work. Young, defenseless teenage girls for vicitms, great FX, and creative murder sequences (the acting abilities basically have no importance in these kind of movies, so don't waste your time trying to analyze the characters!) I remember this film as a child growing up in the '80s. It was one of those movies you stay up until midnight to watch. The Neon Maniacs consist of: ape. archer. slasher. soldier. axe. decapitator. juice. hangman. doc. samurai. mohawk. biker. All giving different forms of tourture to their vicitms of San Fran. I urge you to see this film if you are a fan of the horror genre and if you are a fan of films like Basket Case, Prom Night, any Friday the 13th entry, and Waxwork.

Beware! The gates of heck have been thrown open, unleashing the NEON MANIACS! Virtually unstoppable, these odeus freakers are immune to every known defense, save one. It's a rare chemical known to savvy scientists as "H-2-O"! So, unless it rains, or someone uses a squirtgun on them, these maniacal murderers will inherit the globe! Sure, their get-ups are dorky and their shambling needs work, but hey, their masks are fairly cool! Leilani Sarelle is okay as Natalie, the girl who knows too much about these critters. Donna Locke (in her one and only role, ever) is very good as Paula, the horror-obsessed / Nancy Drew type gal who tracks the Maniacs to their lair. She's probably my favorite character in NM, as she reminds me of the horror movie nut in DEADLY SPAWN. The rest of this movie is hit and miss, w/ the "battle of the bands" sequence being the most wretchedly inept part. I cheered when the Maniacs arrived, hoping for an 80s big-hair bloodbath. Alas, only a scant few were slaughtered, leaving the vast majority to run aimlessly back and forth in the gym. What good are maniacs that can't wipe out a gaggle of trapped teenagers?? Sheesh! I also had my hopes up for a rainstorm flesh-melting massacre ala DEVIL'S RAIN. Nope, just a little sprinkle! Still, NEON MANIACS is harmless, mindless fun if you're in the right mood...

To try to tell the plot of this movie is like trying to tell someone about a bad dream,it was real to you but makes no sense to anyone else. Still I'll try and give you the run down.
It seems that these........ uh..... Well maniacs have always lived inside the Golden Gate bridge and for some reason decide that now is time to leave and slaughter most of the population of San Francisco. They , as one reviewer states, appear to be the Village People with more than the Y.M.C.A. on their mind. Their only weakness is strangely water, which must make living near the water very rough, and a few of the teens who manage to stay alive get ready to send these nasty suckers off to sing "In the Navy" with water guns, hoses, even beer cans.
It sounds and is silly I know but it has the effect of watching a 3rd grade play unfold, Not very good but the kids sure try hard. The gore level is high so if you don't like that skip it, but if you just want to "kill" a little time this might be for you.

NEON MANIACS is a slice of B-Movie greatness that is overlooked far too often. It offers all of the 80s Horror cliches that many fans grew up loving in its corny teen characters, synthesized electric score, and abundant latex monster designs. A lone teen survives a brutal attack by a group of mutant freaks beneath the Golden Gate Bridge, and she must convince two unlikely friends to help protect her when the monsters return to finish the job! The film is clearly a fan-made fantasy Horror effort that was used as an excuse to showcase the creative make-up and gore FX. Unfortunately, the concept was just too large for the script or director to handle. There are constant struggles with pacing as the plot meanders between a teen drama and full-blooded monster flick. The actionless exposition serves as nothing more than filler between the killings, stifled by throwaway characters and empty dialog Once the creeps hit the scene, though, it is all mindless murder and gratuitous gore, but these bloody moments are few and far between. Though it is a small film, it is given a large feel as the mutants take to the streets and subway in pursuit of the teens. This creates the impression of a city overrun by monsters in just a few short scenes. The maniacs themselves show an array of unique and interesting designs, creating a group not unlike the inhabitants of Midian from Clive Barker's NIGHTBREED, though lacking the mythical qualities and lore inherent in Barker's conceptions. In the end, NEON MANIACS is a mixed bag. It is awesomely entertaining at times, while mercilessly boring at others, but even in its worst moments, it remains a nostalgic look back at the height of 80s cheese.

-Carl Manes
I Like Horror Movies

Entertaining and above average 80's effort starring 12 so-called "Neon Maniacs," and zero plot. That being said, there is enough here to keep you interested for 90 minutes or so. You have the music and style of the 80's to cringe and laugh at, you also get the maniacs themselves which carry oh so original names such as, AX (he carries an ax), DOC (he's an evil doctor), ARCHER (ugh... you get it!), and so forth. The film moves along quickly and by the end you know exactly the same amount about the maniacs as when it started... yep, they're ugly and mean(you do get to know how to defeat them) and kill, well; because they are the bad guys of course! Don't ask so many questions already! Just put your brain on cruise control and enjoy the show... oh, and be prepared to laugh and shake your head. By the way, this movie reminded me alot of CHUD(which is WAY better) so if you've seen that and thought it was unwatchable then don't waste your time here.

Awesome flick
considered in the so bad it's good category haha
but i love this movie 80s horror is always a good time and that's what i look for in a movie is some fun!
defiantly worth the buy!!!

After a very good start Neon Maniacs seems to just fall apart and it gets so boring that by the end of it you begin to wonder if this is still the same film.
The 2 stars is for the opening scene with the kids in the park, the rest of the film is just plain silly.

The Neon Maniacs are a gang of mutant monsters that live inside the Golden Gate Bridge. We never find out just who or what they are, but we do know that they come out at night to slaughter people, and that water kills them. They use a variety of weapons including crossbows, swords, axes, guns and chains. Each creature seems to have it's own theme. There's a samurai, a doctor, a biker without a nose, an ape, a soldier, a Native American(he uses a tomahawk), a Toxic Avenger lookalike, a reptilian beast, an electricity shooting robotic type, and a few more. They look sort of like a zombie/monster version of the Village people. Natalie is the sole survivor of the opening Neon Maniac massacre(it's stated she's a virgin, so naturally that's how she must have survived), and soon becomes their new target. Why? How the hell do I know? So Natalie teams up with new boyfriend, Stephen and a horror movie obsessed girl named Paula. Naturally the police are useless, even when they become involved. Natalie, Stephen and Paula have a few chases and escapes with the Neon maniacs, but it all comes to a head at the battle of the bands at the local high school where we get treated to the rocking sounds of Quiet Riot wannabees, Jaded. We also get a few tunes from Stephen's fruity A-HA clone of a band. Armed with squirt guns they go toe to toe with the Neon Maniacs.
Yup, this movie is about as dumb as it sounds, but that's what makes it a fun little B monster flick. Stephen and Natalie break numerous horror movie safety rules, the cops are about as cliched as it gets, the music doesn't fit, and the monsters are silly(yet cool looking regardless), but these are all good things. To me this film comes across as a kind of horror version of the Garbage Pail Kids movie. Mindless monster fun.