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Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life 1st Edition

4.8 out of 5 stars 37 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-1849057578
ISBN-10: 1849057575
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Editorial Reviews

Review

I have been a fan of Cynthia Kim's blog, Musings of an Aspie, for many years. This book has everything I've come to expect from her blog and more. Poignant and practical by turns, and always insightful, this book is a must read for anyone trying to get a better understanding of autism. -- Lynne Soraya, blogger for Psychology Today and author of Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum In this honest and beautifully articulate book, Cynthia Kim reflects back on her life before and after her recent diagnosis, and she describes how her diagnosis helped her to gain a new understanding of herself and events in her past. The book is packed full of useful tips for others with Asperger's, and her own experiences with marriage and raising a child provide a valuable perspective which is both eye opening and a real pleasure to read. -- Elisabeth Hurley, PhD, Research Officer, Autism West Midlands, UK Cynthia Kim unequivocally captures the true essence of what it means to be autistic! What it means to be me! She helps you understand yourself, which enables you to struggle less with yourself and life. There's no doubt about it that Aspies are complex. Kim addresses all facets of what makes us different head-on. From shutting down to contentment and peace, it's all covered in this eye-opening account of living with Asperger's. Insight and advice follow each section for a clear and concise plan to help in your everyday life. -- Anita Lesko, BSN,RN,MS,CRNA, internationally recognized Autism Advocate, author of Been There. Done That. Try This!, also published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Review

I have been a fan of Cynthia Kim's blog, Musings of an Aspie, for many years. This book has everything I've come to expect from her blog and more. Poignant and practical by turns, and always insightful, this book is a must read for anyone trying to get a better understanding of autism. (Lynne Soraya, blogger for Psychology Today and author of Living Independently on the Autism Spectrum)

In this honest and beautifully articulate book, Cynthia Kim reflects back on her life before and after her recent diagnosis, and she describes how her diagnosis helped her to gain a new understanding of herself and events in her past. The book is packed full of useful tips for others with Asperger's, and her own experiences with marriage and raising a child provide a valuable perspective which is both eye opening and a real pleasure to read. (Elisabeth Hurley, PhD, Research Officer, Autism West Midlands, UK)

Cynthia Kim unequivocally captures the true essence of what it means to be autistic! What it means to be me! She helps you understand yourself, which enables you to struggle less with yourself and life. There's no doubt about it that Aspies are complex. Kim addresses all facets of what makes us different head-on. From shutting down to contentment and peace, it's all covered in this eye-opening account of living with Asperger's. Insight and advice follow each section for a clear and concise plan to help in your everyday life. (Anita Lesko, BSN,RN,MS,CRNA, internationally recognized Autism Advocate, author of Been There. Done That. Try This!, also published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers; 1 edition (September 21, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1849057575
  • ISBN-13: 978-1849057578
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #40,482 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By EL on September 28, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
"Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate" is a much-needed book.

Kim's writing addresses a population of adults with Asperger's who have not, thus far, had an articulate voice in Asperger's literature: "good girls" (and "good boys") who quietly make it to adulthood without being diagnosed. Those who have struggled through school and work, taking their challenges upon themselves, and succeeded enough to pass as intelligent people not quite working to their potential, will find this a particularly welcome text. The same traits that keep these "quiet kids" under the radar as children continue to create difficulties into adulthood, and Kim is a knowledgeable and sympathetic guide for this experience.

As it now stands, popular Asperger's literature can be foreign terrain for those in whom intelligence and disability coexist with a overcharged sense of responsibility. The warranted success of memoirists like John Elder Robison and Jeannie Davide-Rivera (alongside more sober but extremely gifted advocates such as Temple Grandin) is creditable to their ability to tell evocative, energetic stories about themselves. While all of these authors are strong narrators, theirs are stories that only a small minority with Asperger's can recognize themselves in. If Temple Grandin's exceptional mind makes her a fascinating person and a patient and talented teacher in the neurology of autism, her personal experience is difficult to identify with unless you are yourself a savant. Robison and Davide-Rivera, conversely, present life with Asperger's as a sort of heedless tear through childhood and adolescence, full of risk-seeking behavior and impulsive experience, followed by a long denouement (after diagnosis) in which those adventures are retold and sifted for clues.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Having read Cynthia Kim's other book, "I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults," I was very eager to read this followup. As with her first book, this one does a superb job of offering support for those on the spectrum, specifically Asperger's Syndrome. In her latest book, "Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life," Cynthia Kim explores in detail and offers sound advice on a number of topics common to those with Asperger's Syndrome, including problems with social skills, obsessive thought patterns, communication difficulties, eccentric behaviors, rituals, limited interest range, problems with coordination, etc.

She does an outstanding job of explaining in easy to understand language, the anguish of living with this disability. Of more importance, is her insight into the best ways to make this disability into more of a positive than a negative trait. She explains that many extremely gifted and talented people live with Asperger's Syndrome and in many ways having the diagnosis can be a blessing. Since she was never diagnosed as a child, all of the characteristics of Asperger's were unknown to her until adulthood. Unlike the vast majority of books on the subject, this one and its predecessor offer heartfelt hope for adults who are on the spectrum, or for those who may be wondering if they are.

She explores all of the behavior characteristics of a person with Asperger's, and offers reassurance that it's nothing to be ashamed about. This book provides answers to so many questions that needed to be addressed.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Cynthia Kim is one of the preeminent writers today on what some call “the lost generation:” older adults who are being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Today’s generation of older adults grew up before the schools were identifying and diagnosing children with autism. Hans Asperger’s work on Asperger’s, a high–functioning autism, wasn’t even translated into English until 1991.

Kim was diagnosed in 2012 at the age of 42, and within months was blogging about her process of discovering herself as a woman with autism. [Musing of an Aspie.] Her first book is an excellent account of the symptoms of autism and the diagnostic process – with professionals or alone.

Her recent book is a summary of what she has learned on her journey, with suggestions for readers on dealing with a variety of issues.

In her chapter headings, “Growing Up Undiagnosed,” she says: “Kids like me were labeled nerdy, shy, or gifted.” Later she says, “I made it well into middle age before realizing that I wasn’t just shy or weird or nerdy. That I wasn’t going to outgrow my quirks and wake up to suddenly find I was ‘normal.”

Other chapter title includes: “Parenting Aspie Style,” “The Autistic Body,” and “Redefining Myself.”

It is a well-written must-read for anyone who wants to understand today’s newly diagnosed adults; or who is one.

Wilma Wake, LCSW
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Format: Paperback
"There are few traits that are universal, which makes it hard to write a definitive book about life on the spectrum", Cynthia Kim. It also makes it confusing to tell people about. But books like "Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life" make it a lot easier, both to understand ourselves as Aspies and help others understand us. As I was reading, I probably highlighted something on every page. I kept telling my cat, "That is so me." I took so. many. notes.

"Nerdy" covers almost all my traits and quirks. From triggers to sensory overloads (those scented products the world loves - those are torture to me), from insomnia to routines. Executive Function - oh my word! There's a name for my decision-making and problem-solving issues! Catastrophizing to perfectionism (both debilitating). Stims and flat face and routines. Alone versus lonely. And yes, eating the same foods every day.

The topics are weighty, but Cynthia makes them inviting, even humorous (i.e. "my face keeps wandering off on its own"). And she also imparts good advice and coping suggestions. Highly recommended!

(Thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!)
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