Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen [Paperback]

Nerve (Author)

Book Description

Release date: January 27, 2004

Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen is committed to saving readers from a lifetime of sexual faux-pas. From one-night stands to dirty talk and much more this outrageously helpful handbook includes hints such as:

€ When booty-calling an ex, the dumpee must be the initiator the first two times. After that, it's considered polite for the dumper to initiate so the dumpee doesn't feel doubly pathetic.

€ On a one-night stand, you may make a stealth exit from your partner's bed, but it is gauche to request that your partner vacate before daylight.

€ A civilized lady or gentleman always has a guest toothbrush handy, still in its packaging, just in case a guest requests one. However, only vulgarians keep an entire drawer of them for guests to "pick their favorite color."

Mixing witty "pearls of wisdom," hilarious sidebars, and essential advice, Em and Lo deliver the practical handbook of bedside manners for singles and devoted couples in the new millennium.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for THE BIG BANG: 'The new Joy of Sex' -- Observer 'The hottest book on bonking for years' -- The Sun 'Ditch the Joy of Sex for something more explosive' -- Elle 'Gives a new meaning to self-help. I give it two thumbs up. Up where is up to you' -- The Times 'This book rocked my world in ways both sublime and ridiculous. The advice is fantastic and the ilustrations absolutely edible. If I ever have the pleasure of meeting Em and Lo I will probably feel obliged to pay them for the sex. Topping the list of possible presents for my mum's birthday.' -- belle de jour 'THE BIG BANG boldly goes where no other sex manual goes, and touches the parts that others can't reach - or don't dare to' -- The Erotic Review US praise for SEX ETIQUETTE: 'This quick-witted new reference book reinterprets etiquette for modern society. Nerve.com sex-advice columnists Em and Lo (Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey) lay out strict protocol for booty call, one-night stands and dumping.' -- Time Out New York 'Though the book's voice is straight-laced, its message is anything but. Em and Lo's tome works because it gently combines Miss Manners-style guidelines with subject matter often deemed inherently impolite... The authors break down the rules of orgy behavior so graciously, you'd think they were talking about a royal wedding.' -- New York Post 'They have discerned that what we really need is some good, old-fashioned discipline. The result is advice that just might get you laid.' -- New York Press --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Em and Lo (Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey) are the authors of The Big Bang: Nerve's Guide to the New Sexual Universe. They are contributing editors at Nerve.com, where they pen the weekly sex and relationship column, "The Em & Lo Down: Advice from Near Experts." Launched over three years ago, it's one of the most popular features among the site's two million-plus readers.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Plume (January 27, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452285097
• ISBN-13: 978-0452285095
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.7 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,257,433 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A Funny & Informative Look at That Famous Three-Letter Word March 6, 2004

By Bookreporter

Format:Paperback

At first read (and blush) it is difficult to ascertain whether these women (one primly named Emma, the other provocatively named Lorelei), popularly known as Em and Lo, are writing practical advice or pristine humor. After all, chapters like "The Unmentionables" (which includes a chart on degrees of potty problems) and "Protocol for Specific Embraces" are laden with real-life know-how --- but one wonders at times, Gentle Reader, if many of those engaged in threeways are actually interested in etiquette at all, much less nitpicky specifics such as "A gentleman or lady never has a threeway with a coworker." (One doesn't know your specifics, of course, Gentle Reader, but few Readers these days have much opportunity to meet anyone at all outside of the office, let alone contacts suitable for a "threeway!")

However, Em and Lo would beg to differ: "There is nothing wrong with being a stickler for politesse, especially when one considers its origin: Good manners are part of the social contract we voluntarily enter into, in order to create a more harmonious society. And where can we benefit more from a little harmony than in the boudoir?" They're right, of course --- and despite its screamingly funny moments, this book answers many questions that dare not speak their own names, from safe, sane pickup lines to STD-discovery decorum.

Their answers are also right. You may quibble on points of morality, but Em and Lo are so over that. They know from both personal and professional experience that folks will do what they do, and they might as well have a safe, sane book from which to glean correct behaviors in sticky situations that range from first date to first ... oh, you choose!

Chapter heads and divisions make it easy to flip to just the section you need ("Chapter II: Formal Sex/The Deed"), while boxed tips, hints and lists provide excellent breaks for those who find themselves becoming a bit faint over specifics (although boxes such as the "Intricate Dance of the Wet Spot" may induce fainting for the feint of heart).

Caveat emptor (and they might have covered buying sex, too; perhaps a topic for a sequel?): this is not a sexual "how-to" guide. There are guidebooks aplenty on every topic covered in this one in case you need to learn. Em and Lo are firmly committed to putting down the rules about going down as they stand today: "We are delighted to take a place in the long tradition of etiquette doyennes --- to reaffirm the constants and add some new, saucier suggestions to the canon for these more modern, salacious times. Of course, we expect to blush ferociously when we read whatever sex manners manual will be published fifty years from now. But perhaps then, at least, there will be a sex manners genre to speak of. For it is our immodest goal to make the world a better place, one sex act at a time."

Perhaps, then, being So Genteel, Em and Lo will not mind two teensy-weensy suggestions. One: since they're not writing a sex manual, stop already with the dominatrix-like statements about everyone having to try Act X or Position Y "at least once in a lifetime." Sex --- it's all about choice, you know?

However, grammar ain't (so to speak). So no more prepositions at the end of sentences, ladies, or it's off to the bondage wheel with you ... hmmmm, perhaps they do have a series in mind.

--- Reviewed by Bethanne Kelly Patrick

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Even Better Than "The Big Bang" January 30, 2004

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I really liked The Big Bang. But I really really like this book -- it's hilarious! (Yes, I'm an Em & Lo fan, but they don't pay me.) This book is not nearly as technical as the BB, but just as helpful (in a weird way). But I don't think readers should think of it as a service book, it's more of a humor book -- even if you have impeccable manners when it comes to lovin', it's just a fun read.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Tao of Poo February 3, 2004

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

Oh my god, this book is worth buying just for the "what to do when you have to poo" chart!! I never knew I'd made so many etiquette blunders until I bought this book. No wonder I was never getting laid...