Customer Reviews

Neurosis and Human Growth

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Karen Horney writes that emotional problems originate in the environment. Problems usually start during childhood when the child faces an hostile environment (e.g. abusive, careless, or overprotective parents). In order to deal with this hostile environment the child develops defense mechanisms: she moves toward people, she moves against people, or she moves away from people. The child may accept all kinds of abuses in exchange for some affection; the child may become agressive and rebellious against parents and authority in general; or the child may turn into a rock (aloof, reserved, quiet). Later in life these defense mechanisms evolve into three kinds of neuroses: one characterized by morbid dependency on others and compliance, another by extreme agressive behavior despising almost everybody, and another one by aloofness and carelessness. At the same time that the person develops any of these types of behavior she creates an idealized image of herself (with all kinds of attributes, talents and virtues -which are mainly imagined and which she tries to live up to.) The real self (the actual talents and limitations) recede into the unconscious or are "forgotten". The more the neurotic attempts to live up to her idealized self, the more difficulties and inner conflicts she faces, and the more she hates her real self. This creates all kinds of difficulties in the person's relationships (to herself and to others) and in all kinds of situations including the job place. Along with these difficulties the person experiences depression and anxiety, among other symptoms. Horney argues very persuasively her theory throughout the book, showing incredible intelligence, insight and knowlege (she must have really spent a lot of time analyzing patients and taking notes about every detail she discussed with them); her arguments are so well informed. I really enjoyed reading this book; it helped me know myself and understand others better. My only disappointment is her treatment of the "real self" in chapter six. Just when I was getting excited about her discussion of the "real self" she gradually changed the subject and ended concentrating again on the "idealized self" and how the neurotic relates to it. Had she lived longer I am sure that she would have written (perhaps a whole book!) on the real self (how it survives and even grows in spite of the obstacles imposed by the person's neurotic drives). But at least I know, after reading this very insightful book, that all of us have a "real" and an "idealized" self, and the balance of these determines the degree of our neurosis.

This is therapy in a book. Unbelievable work of psychoanalysis.
A person, given the chance, will develop his own feelings, thoughts, wishes, interests and potentialities. He will draw on his own resources, skills, will-power, discipline and he will develop his special abilities and unique gifts. In short, he will grow, substantially undiverted, towards what Karen Horney calls self-realization.

But through a variety of adverse influences, a child, or even an adult, may not be permitted to grow according to his individual needs and possibilities. A persistently hostile environment of people around him, especially during childhood, that are dominating, overindulgent, erratic, partial to others, hypocritical, indifferent, etc., might kill off the ability to grow and become one's real self. As a result the person, does not develop a feeling of belonging of "we", but instead develops a profound insecurity, lack of self-confidence and vague apprehensiveness, which Karen Horney refers to as basic anxieties.

The person tries to resolve the anxiety by either moving away from people (aloofness, isolation), or against people (rebelling) or moving towards people (submission and compliance). In a healthy individual, these coping trends are present and used in varying degrees depending on the situation. But in a neurotic person, these trends become very rigid and contradictory. Eventually, one of the trends will become a dominant trend, and it will become a predominant trait in the person's personality. It is destructive in that it chokes off much of the other parts of a persons personality and impedes growth.

This dominant coping trend is an artificial attempt at a solution, and it will fail. But to a person suffering from a neurosis, the trend will appear to work and even become intensified. With large parts of the person's personality undeveloped and even unavailable, the person in grips of a neurosis will then gradually become alienated from his real self. The alienation from the real self will subsequently be followed and replaced by the image of the idealized-self. The person will not see themselves as they are, but instead will see the idealized-image of themselves-the way they wished they were. The energies driving toward self-realization are then shifted to the aim of actualizing the idealized self. This shift means no more and no less than a change in the course of the individual's whole life and development.

A healthy person will see himself as he is and strive to grow and improve. A neurotic person, however, will see himself as an idealized image. Alienated from his real self, he will no longer have authentic feelings, emotions and ambitions. Instead he will feel what he thinks he should feel according to his idealized self, he will react to others the way he thinks they expect him to react from the perspective of his idealized self.

Ultimately, the neurotic person will fail to live up to his idealized-self. The discrepancy between what he really is and how he sees himself in the idealized image will emerge and it will be a constant source of conflict. Because his idealized image of himself is one of perfection, there is no way for him to measure up. What will then follow is unconscious self-hate and self-contempt.

The person will unconsciously be at war with his real self. Compulsive eating, and many other compulsive disorders, anxieties, despair, inertia and even suicide are often manifestations of unconscious self-hate. The person doesn't realize what is happening, but he is in the grips of a deepening neurosis. He is unconsciously at war with himself.

Karen Horney describes in detail the behavior and personality traits that develop in a neurosis. She explains how it develops and why it is so destructive to the real self. Understanding of one's neurosis is a key development for anyone in the grips of a neurosis, but it is not a cure. She makes it clear, the cure is a process that has to be worked upon with real effort, but knowledge and understanding are the starting point.

This book is breath taking. It is one of the most important books I have ever read.

As someone who is permanently "slightly anxious", I wanted to understand the root of that anxiety and hence what could be done about it. Horney offers the theory that children who feel threatened develop an idealised view of themselves as a defence mechanism - but this in turn creates further problems in adulthood as the adult fails to live up to the "perfect self" expectation. Horney illustrates this thesis convincingly from both case work and literature - several of the illustrations described exactly what goes on in my own mind.

So, if you're serious about a serious read, this one is for you.

I respect the opinion of the two-star reviewer, but I can only guess that this person is either too young, or simply not crazy enough, to appreciate how Dr. Horney "nailed" the essential problem of one's vital energies being disastrously diverted to the service of the idealized self. A welcome oasis this is for those thoughtful souls who are sick and tired of suffering and want to get on with the business of living. All positive-thinking self-help books -- or programs -- will fail the true neurotic unless this topographical map of the counter-productive Unconscious is studied, understood and committed to memory. Just like knowing how to get around town, when you're in a strange city, if you know what I mean. To characterize this work as a masterpiece is no exaggeration.

Her best work. A bit long in the tooth, but otherwise NEUROSIS AND HUMAN GROWTH delivers a painful message that many of us who have been plagued by personal problems secretly know all too well: we are causing many of our problems and we must change. Horney, better than anyone I know, shows us why we do what we do and how to change our behavior.

Horney is also an example of a kind of learned human being that exists less and less frequently. Incredibly well-read, she shows in her writing a variety of interests and specialties that so many psychoanalytic texts lack. Halfway between theory and self-help, this is one of the most important texts about how to live more happily published in the last century.

Karen Horney's book "Neurosis and Human Growth" expalins neurosis and how it is the antithesis of healthy emotional development. But more importantly it is about self realization. Irvin Yalom references this book in his most recent book,"The Gift of Therapy".Yalom states self-realization as the core concept of the book.

The individual suffering from neurosis is in conflict. The conflict is between the real self and the idealized self, a self that a neurotic creates as a way to deal with himself and others. Ultimately if an individual is to overcome their neurosis they must come to terms with the idealized self and accept their real self with love and compassion. Horney not only expalins her theory of neurosis but also describes the therapeutic process that a neurotic person must go through to heal, self-realization.

Horney a Neo-Freudian, also compares her theory of neurosis to Freud's theory effectively. In the end she advocates the optimism of her philosophy overs Freud's pessimism. The optimism that Horney advocates is self-realization.

As a student of psychotherapy and patient I found this book to be very valuable. This book and Carl Rogers' book "On Becoming a Person" have positively effected me both as a student and patient. I highly recommend this book to all students of psychotherapy and to any individual who is interested in neurosis or anyone on their path to self-realization.

Here Karen Horney puts the finishing touches on her theory of neurosis, adding several important concepts like that of "basic anxiety." She also emphasizes cultural factors that help make us crazy; like Erich Fromm and Clara Thompson, she headed into new territory by refusing to take inner conflict out of its societal context.

This book is, I believe, one of the most insightful investigations into human psychology ever written. I will write a few points on why I hold this to be the case:
1. The author does not locate the origins of psychological conflict in the sexual arena, but focuses intensely on self-esteem.
2. It focuses on disruptive trends that any given individual may have within themselves rather than making excessive use of modern labels: e.g. the focus is on the trend to self-deprecate rather than on having `personality-disorder X'. This allows the reader to examine themselves with a greater sense of flexibility rather than strait-jacket themselves too tightly with the diagnosis of a certain kind of illness.
3. This book is written well; the reader could read this book in a coffee shop and does not need a previous knowledge of psychoanalytic theory in order to gain something from this book.
4. This book is practical and theoretical at the same time. Horney goes deep enough into the structure of mental health problems in order to illuminate, but does not get bogged down in theoretical debate.
I therefore recommend this book to anyone interested in an improvement in mental health and general well-being; reading this book will be much more rewarding than staying on the surface level with popular self-help books.

Karen Horney's works are fascinating to read. She knew how to construct and tear down arguments with a logician's thoroughness. In addition, her thinking went "outside the box" of standard psychoanalysis. Within this work in particular, one finds the seeds of latter day 3rd force psychology and cognitive therapy. Truly an under-appreciated figure in psychology.

Karen Horney gives as understandable and elegant an explanation of the basis of human frustration and depression, and of its insidious foundation, as I've had the pleasure of reading. Highly recommended for anyone with an intelligent interest in the "human condition" and its roots. Read it first in the early 1970s and it continues to be the basis on which I peruse and investigate the poetry of our species.