Customer Reviews

Never Better: All Things Considered

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Never Better: All Things Considered is a collection of thoughts, opinions and remembrances put together by Sally Connolly during the period after her husband's death, a period she refers to as her "transition from wife to widow to single senior."

The randomness of the chapters left me with the sense that I was reading Connolly's journal or diary. Early on she writes about the profound loss of her husband and in fact a couple of the chapters are written in the form of letters to Gene. As time goes by the "entries" move more to family matters, including children and grandchildren. She writes of her family life with love, warmth and humor and expresses strong feelings about a number of other topics, such as literacy, achieving success in life, and local political matters.

As a practicing Catholic, Connolly's writing is affected by her religious ideals. She was brought up with a strong faith, attended Catholic schools and universities and was married to a man who at one time in his life was a Marist Brother. Her faith is woven throughout and is clearly seen in some of her more strongly-felt entries. One example: the responsibility of the school to provide not only "a physically safe environment" but one in which parents can expect "the same attention paid to their children's moral development" as well. In her opinion, schools at all levels should act "in loco parentis," or in place of the parent. Connolly brings into question the provision of co-ed dorms on college campuses. I would have liked this book better, however, if the entries regarding local politics had not been included. The book seemed initially geared to Connolly's transition through widowhood to senior independence and to her family life. Perhaps the services of an editor might have helped sort some of this out.

by Janet Caplan
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

The end of a marriage of nearly four decades - the crushing reality of becoming a widow. "Never Better: All Things Considered" is Sally Connolly's attempt to cope with the loss of her true soul mate and trying to move on after this event which effects all too many women and simply seems to be a fact of life that must be dealt with. A dive into her own psyche, "Never Better: All Things Considered" is deftly written and highly recommended for self-help collections and for any woman who has lost their husband.

Never Better: All Things Considered is a collection of writings by Sally A. Connolly. Connolly is a retired school counselor and teacher. In 2006, she collected the writings of her late husband, Dr. Eugene Connolly into "A Boy from Lawrence" which met with high praise. This is Connolly's turn to write of trying to regain life after losing her beloved husband.

Connolly had kept a journal in her youth, only to abandon it in the busyness of adult life. After her husband's death, she returned to keeping a record of her days as a means of coping with the profound change in her life. The teacher in her reared its head and she soon decided that she wanted to share her writings. As she states, "What good is knowledge or insight or opinions if you can't share them?" She timidly sent articles to the editor of her local paper. Before long, she was a contributing columnist and a writer was born. Connolly has some good advice to offer others suffering from a major loss in their lives. "Accepting widowhood, I have learned, can be made easier. By grabbing onto your skills and using them, you can begin to work through the crisis. So, to those just beginning their own journey of healing I say: Find an interest and launch a project. Paint a picture, sew a quilt . . . listen to your heart, treasure the good memories, and face the future with courage." Writing was Connolly's project.

The essays in "Never Better" run the gamut of topics, from her own childhood to parenting to music to encouraging success, to more local topics that Connolly wrote about for the Danvers (MA) Herald. While the more local topics do not have widespread appeal, there are some wonderful articles in the mix that speak to the universal aspects of life that we all share. Connolly even tells of a couple of miracles that have occurred in her family's life!

"Never Better" will bring hope to widows that they can follow Connolly's example and keep going. Life does continue. While there will still be moments of hurt, joy does eventually return.