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I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape Paperback – July 8, 1994


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Frequently Bought Together

I Never Called It Rape: The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape + Resurrection After Rape: A guide to transforming from victim to survivor + The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-by-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assault
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (July 8, 1994)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060925728
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060925727
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #83,066 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Based on first-person accounts, scholarly studies and data from a nationwide survey of college campuses conducted by Ms. magazine, freelance journalist Warshaw draws a devastating portrait of men who rape women they know. The Ms. survey reveals that 25% of the college women polled have been the victims of rape or attempted rape, 84% of the victims were acquainted with the attacker and 57% of the rapes happened on dates. One in 12 of the male respondents admitted to acts that meet the legal definition of rape or attempted rape. Warshaw, herself the victim of an acquaintance rape, handles an inherently sensational subject with compassion and restraint. She describes and condemns the social milieu that condones such acts by encouraging men to see sex as conquest and women to view sexual coercion as part of the "dating game." There is realistic, practical advice on how women can protect themselves against attacks by acquaintances and on how men can prevent this type of rape. Literary Guild alternate; author tour.
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From School Library Journal

YA--I Never Called It Rape confronts the issue of what used to be known as "date rape" but is now commonly referred to as "acquaintance rape." First-hand accounts by women who have been raped by men whom they knew provides a background for analyzing this crime . These stories are meant to make women aware of how this type of rape happens, how to avoid the pitfalls of certain situations, and how to acknowledge that a rape has taken place even if the person is familiar . Chapters are directed toward preventing such an assault as well as what to do if you are a victim of acquaintance rape. The statistics in the book indicate that this is a widespread occurrence often ignored by women who deny what happened or feel they won't be believed. This book will enlighten young women about what constitutes an assault against them and how to deal with it.
- Anne Paget, Episcopal High School, Bellaire, Tex.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

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It's good for males as well as females.
Michele McKenney
This book helped me more than any therapist or friends ever could.
Adele
I cannot begin to explain how important this book is to read.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 21, 1999
Format: Paperback
This book was an essential part of my early recovery process. As a survivor of relationship violence and rape in my adolescence, I never knew how to characterize it, what to call it. As a teenager, the "R" word seemed to be too imposing -- but the actual experiences were far more imposing than the language; indeed, the language and the naming of the unspeakable experience made it possible to finally confront it. Like Herman's "Trauma and Recovery," this book presented examples which helped me to understand that I was not alone in this process, nor was I losing my mind. My own responses of self-blame, depression, and anger could be understood in terms of my coping with the assault. I wish that we lived in a world where there would be no need for such a report as Ms. Warshaw's; given that we don't, I am very thankful for it.
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 22, 1997
Format: Paperback
As a survivor of sexual assault, this book was a Godsend while I was emotionally prepairing for my university judicial hearing as well as my show-cause hearing in district.
As a survivor herself, Ms.Warshaw must have known the importance of including the stories of other survivors in her book. It was by reading about people like my self and other survivors can comprehend what we might go through and that we are not alone. However, there are still some people who decided that they wanted to try and disprove the point that rape and sexual assault hurts women in ways that people who have not survived a sexual assault could possabily understand. In this new addition, Ms. Warshaw puts her detractors(and they KNOW who they are)to shame by not only providing an awesome counter argument, but by using Real Facts obtained in a Scientific Study. These are some of the things that her detractors did not do.
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47 of 53 people found the following review helpful By Busy Mom VINE VOICE on May 19, 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you know someone who is going off to college or moving out on her own, recovering from a divorce or anything ~~ or simply because you love her, this is a book I highly recommend for you to give to her. It talks about date rape/acquaintance rape ~~ a subject that isn't talked about very often ~~ and you will find resources in this book to help a survivor recover ~~ or even to prevent a rape from happening. And I recommend young men reading this book too. It shows the other side of rape ~~ a man may think that a woman "teased" him and that she really wanted it ~~ but oftentimes, it leaves lasting scars ~~ not just on the victims but also on the rapists too. Both men and women need to be educated on what date rape is ~~ it is more common than people think.
When a woman says no, a man is trained by society that she really means yes ~~ but that isn't the case. Rape is when a sexual act is committed against a woman's will ~~ even if she knows her attacker. It's downright disturbing and there are many women who have survived date rape. Did you know that "stranger rape" occurs very rarely but "acquaintance rape" occurs more often? Also, did you know that even if a woman stops dating a man, he can still rape her? There are all kinds of stories in this book that the author shares with the reader to warn them of this issue.
This book will share with you how to recognize the danger signals and how to prevent a rape from happening. If it happens, there is advice on what to do next. It explores the statistics of numerous studies performed on this topic and it's downright scary. But there are people fighting it and so can you. Just read this book, and pass it on.
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60 of 71 people found the following review helpful By Tania on July 20, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book deals with an important, sensitive message, but it is too narrowed. Sadly, a victimizer today can be anyone. I was raped in my second year of college by an upper classmate--another woman.

We were both drunk and I had passed out. Incidentally I am neither gay nor bi. I thought we were just friends. When I awoke, I found her on top of me, my blouce and pants undone and her holding me down. I had awoken to her penetrating me with her fingers and at first had no idea of what was happening, or if I was even dreaming. When it became obvious to me what was happening, she held me down and tried to muffle my protests with her hand and began to vigorously and violently thrust in and out of me hushing me and whispering that I should just relax and would like it and what "good things" she could show me if I let her.

I began to cry and scream and that was when she finally let go of me. Even while I was dressing, trembling, she seemed genuinely confused as to why I was so upset.

That day forever changed my life and I am still dealing with the after effects of that trauma. What is most upsetting to me is some people think that women do not rape, or that this wasn't rape, or even question "how" another woman can rape.

Rape is simply a violation of another person's physical, psychological, and emotional being. It doesn't matter who does it or if a penis is used. I *was* raped.

I have heard many similar stories by other women since, especially of sororities, which truly sexually abuse new pledges. As far as I know there is no real recognition of this phenomena, which only seems to fuel a sick girl-on-girl sexual fantasy in society.
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