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Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date Paperback – January 14, 2014


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (January 14, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1455544671
  • ISBN-13: 978-1455544677
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #24,254 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

The title of Heaney’s wry memoir could have readers believing she’s lived the life of a nun. Hardly. At 25, she has, in fact, had plenty of engaging encounters with the opposite sex, just no serious, long-term relationships. When it comes to courtship, Heaney laments that she is not a “lighthouse,” a luminous being who easily attracts others. Her lovely and slightly wild gal pal, Rylee, on the other hand, possesses maximum wattage, racking up scores of romantic attachments (Heaney calls her the “Babe Ruth of daters”). Heaney is a tall, attractive brunette, and there is nothing wrong with her libido; case in point, her caffeinated crush on a Starbucks barista. Heaney even survives a slightly frightening foray into online dating, describing her time logging on for love at matchup site OKCupid as tantamount to a free zoo. “There are some cute animals there that you can look at without paying a dime,” she writes, “but spending too much time there is just going to make you sad.” --Allison Block

Review

"Reading Never Have I Ever is a bit like reliving your most awkward moments -- but in the best way, because this time, the cringeworthy moments are happening to someone else. Anyone who's ever swooned over a boy whose name she didn't even know or overanalyzed a text message from a crush will see herself in Katie Heaney. You'll relate to her frustrations and admire her confidence, and probably wish she was your best friend."—Rachel Bertsche, New York Times bestselling author of MWF SEEKING BFF

"Katie Heaney is so hilariously fun to read that you may not notice right away how insightful she is about friendship, romance, and the essential weirdness of human relationships." Emily Gould, author of And The Heart Says Whatever

"I challenge any reader to not feel like one of Katie Heaney's closest girlfriends as she examines, in the most charming, honest, original and amusing way imaginable, how she's managed to never have a date. But don't let the breezy language or topic fool you-this is also a brilliant examination of what it means to be a friend, a girl and a human being. The first guy to take Heaney out will be very lucky; in the meantime, we her readers are the lucky ones."Anna David, New York Times bestselling author of Party Girl and Falling For Me

"No one has ever captured the angst and frustration of crushes as perfectly and humorously as Katie Heaney. Anyone who has ever fallen in love with a cute stranger on a train, on the street, in class, or at work, will instantly identify with it, and laugh and cringe along with her dating misadventures. But what is most admirable and impressive about this book is how unflinchingly Katie is able to examine herself. As hilariously cutting as she is when describing the male objects of her desire, she's also self-deprecating and introspective. And the book manages to point towards another (oft overlooked) great love in a woman's life: that of her friends."—Chiara Atik, Author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide.

Astute and tremendously witty, Never Have I Ever chronicles the romantic travails (well, almost romantic) of the very funny Katie Heaney. At some points, I actually got tears in my eyes from laughing too hard—Rebecca Harrington, author of Penelope

"Katie's writing is hilarious, and warm, and thoughtful, and reading this book is like having a little version of her to hang out with. What's that, Miniature Paper Katie? You don't like the bath??"—Edith Zimmerman, founder of TheHairpin.com

"Every twentysomething woman will relate to at least one of the disastrous attempts at courtship in this memoir. And then she'll want to buy copies for all of her girlfriends so they can discuss it over a few glasses (bottles?) of wine at book club."—Library Journal

"Katie's prose illustrates her life events by letting the voice in her head reveal all. Everything that ever crossed your mind while you were with your friends and crushes will echo back to you as you read about moments like a messy kiss with Eric or the feeling of helplessness when finding out that a friend of the opposite sex likes you and you just are not ready for that kind of information."—HelloGiggles

"Never Have I Ever is a strikingly profound and brilliant memoir that presents on-point observations about growing up, friendship and the confusing world of dating. Katie writes with such ease and skill that it's hard not to become completely wrapped up in her many relatable adventures. Her wit and intelligence effortlessly place her amongst today's great writers, and readers will be left thinking, "Finally, someone gets it." If you're a fan of Mindy Kaling, the New Adult genre or are simply looking for your next great read, Never Have I Ever is the book for you."—RT Book Reviews

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

I recommend this book to any of my girlfriends who read.
amanda
I don't quite understand, though, because she says she wants to find a romantic relationship but she seems get scared when the prospect might become a reality.
Danielle
I start and never finish books all the time, but when Katie detailed her love for JTT... I knew I'd make it to the end of this one!
Les W.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 57 people found the following review helpful By BookGeek on January 14, 2014
Format: Paperback
Katie Heaney has never had a boyfriend. Never has she ever. She's a virgin, she's inexperienced and she is in her mid 20s. This is the hook of "Never Have I Ever" and it sticks through out the memoir, but it's about so much more. It's about a girl, a teenager and now a young woman trying to navigate a world where she seems to be the lone fish in the pond.

Katie (yes, I feel comfortable calling her Katie, because I have basically read her journal and that definitely puts us on a first name standing), outlines her life and how it relates to boys. I don't think we as women realize how tuned into the opposite sex we are. Our stories from grad school into adulthood and beyond chronicles adventures of getting boyfriends. Really think about it. Really think about it, from Sweet Valley High, to Pride & Prejudice to Eat Pray Love, these books take us on different adventures, and follows females figuring out who and what they are and want to be and ends with them falling in love.

That is what our society has set up for us, so imagine being twenty-five years old and never really falling in love. Never having a long term commitment. Never having sex or any kind of prospect for marriage. What does that make you?

Katie takes us deep into her psyche. We get sections of her journals, her funny retelling of her most embarrassing moments and she bravely tells us about the times that she cried. It starts off ridiculous and so true with first crushes on Jonathan Taylor Thomas (right! Didn't we all love us some JTT) to the crushes who ignored her and the crushes she ran away from.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Shannon Kelley on March 31, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Heaney has, with intense detail, written about the proud and few of us who somehow missed life's romantic relationship train. She writes with honesty and determination, and, as far as I'm concerned, correctly identifies us as Bermuda Triangles. We are not boring or dull women; we are not weird (at least, no more than the typical Lighthouse) or repulsive. We haven't done anything wrong, but still find ourselves lacking experiences that 'should' have happened a long time ago. She wonderfully explores this issue through the lenses of her own life and reminds us that we may be riddles to be solved, but we are not problems to be fixed.
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30 of 42 people found the following review helpful By garli on February 8, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The author tries really hard to be clever on ever page and nails it at least 3 different times. Basically to cut to the chase, she's seen way too many Nicholas Sparks movies. She clearly wants to not be single (or at least claims that) but doesn't want to take any emotional risks.

If I could talk to her I'd tell her the following.

1. The reason people date when there's not an instant spark is that some times it's awkward meeting new people and you want to see if they get less awkward with time.
2. If you think you can skip bad relationships by not dating in your early 20's you are incorrect. They're either gonna be bad or good depending on the people.
3. No one's gonna see you from across the room and want to kiss you in the rain. It's not because you're not pretty and you don't deserve that it's because life isn't a movie.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Elizabeth Gatsby on August 3, 2014
Format: Paperback
This book is HILARIOUS. I hate to say that, because it's a true account of this girl's life, but nonetheless it's hilarious. I read it in 2 days because I literally did not want to put it down. I was laughing OUT LOUD by myself. Not only could I relate to (almost) all the scenarios she wrote about, but there were even moments when someone else (a guy in the story, etc.) would do something so weird and random that I was full on LAUGHING out loud. I found myself sitting there, reading, and just saying to myself, "What?" at least 3 times a chapter. Literally, I did not know how to react to certain things she said because it was so weird and funny.
I'm only 22, but I've also never had a boyfriend, and don't really know why. I thought it was so relatable and funny. I'd like another book from her when she's about 50 to let us know when she finally finds the perfect guy that finds her awkwardness endearing!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Britni on March 9, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I loved katie. She was a very relatable character. The only reason I didnt give this book 5 stars was honestly after a while I felt like she just kept on rambling and the book couldve been over with. I loved how she realized her strength at the end and decided she really just didnt give a crap and accepted herself, that was very cool.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By 2510cheesecake on March 4, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book had some laugh out loud moments, and you can definitely relate to some of what the author talks about when it comes to dating. Overall was a good read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By LWan on February 21, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Katie writes like your best friend is talking to you. It's funny, witty, and down to earth while presenting unique and true perspectives on human relationships.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By BSprklz on August 27, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Can't seem to get through this one. Writer is going on and on and on trying to make various references seem more adorably neurotic but I just couldn't take it. It's like the girlfriend you go out with and have a blast with for an hour or two but then every comment that pops out of her mouth the rest of the night is like nails on a chalkboard.
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