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Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date Paperback – January 14, 2014


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (January 14, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1455544671
  • ISBN-13: 978-1455544677
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #44,091 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

The title of Heaney’s wry memoir could have readers believing she’s lived the life of a nun. Hardly. At 25, she has, in fact, had plenty of engaging encounters with the opposite sex, just no serious, long-term relationships. When it comes to courtship, Heaney laments that she is not a “lighthouse,” a luminous being who easily attracts others. Her lovely and slightly wild gal pal, Rylee, on the other hand, possesses maximum wattage, racking up scores of romantic attachments (Heaney calls her the “Babe Ruth of daters”). Heaney is a tall, attractive brunette, and there is nothing wrong with her libido; case in point, her caffeinated crush on a Starbucks barista. Heaney even survives a slightly frightening foray into online dating, describing her time logging on for love at matchup site OKCupid as tantamount to a free zoo. “There are some cute animals there that you can look at without paying a dime,” she writes, “but spending too much time there is just going to make you sad.” --Allison Block

Review

"Reading Never Have I Ever is a bit like reliving your most awkward moments -- but in the best way, because this time, the cringeworthy moments are happening to someone else. Anyone who's ever swooned over a boy whose name she didn't even know or overanalyzed a text message from a crush will see herself in Katie Heaney. You'll relate to her frustrations and admire her confidence, and probably wish she was your best friend."—Rachel Bertsche, New York Times bestselling author of MWF SEEKING BFF

"Katie Heaney is so hilariously fun to read that you may not notice right away how insightful she is about friendship, romance, and the essential weirdness of human relationships." Emily Gould, author of And The Heart Says Whatever

"I challenge any reader to not feel like one of Katie Heaney's closest girlfriends as she examines, in the most charming, honest, original and amusing way imaginable, how she's managed to never have a date. But don't let the breezy language or topic fool you-this is also a brilliant examination of what it means to be a friend, a girl and a human being. The first guy to take Heaney out will be very lucky; in the meantime, we her readers are the lucky ones."Anna David, New York Times bestselling author of Party Girl and Falling For Me

"No one has ever captured the angst and frustration of crushes as perfectly and humorously as Katie Heaney. Anyone who has ever fallen in love with a cute stranger on a train, on the street, in class, or at work, will instantly identify with it, and laugh and cringe along with her dating misadventures. But what is most admirable and impressive about this book is how unflinchingly Katie is able to examine herself. As hilariously cutting as she is when describing the male objects of her desire, she's also self-deprecating and introspective. And the book manages to point towards another (oft overlooked) great love in a woman's life: that of her friends."—Chiara Atik, Author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide.

Astute and tremendously witty, Never Have I Ever chronicles the romantic travails (well, almost romantic) of the very funny Katie Heaney. At some points, I actually got tears in my eyes from laughing too hard—Rebecca Harrington, author of Penelope

"Katie's writing is hilarious, and warm, and thoughtful, and reading this book is like having a little version of her to hang out with. What's that, Miniature Paper Katie? You don't like the bath??"—Edith Zimmerman, founder of TheHairpin.com

"Every twentysomething woman will relate to at least one of the disastrous attempts at courtship in this memoir. And then she'll want to buy copies for all of her girlfriends so they can discuss it over a few glasses (bottles?) of wine at book club."—Library Journal

"Katie's prose illustrates her life events by letting the voice in her head reveal all. Everything that ever crossed your mind while you were with your friends and crushes will echo back to you as you read about moments like a messy kiss with Eric or the feeling of helplessness when finding out that a friend of the opposite sex likes you and you just are not ready for that kind of information."—HelloGiggles

"Never Have I Ever is a strikingly profound and brilliant memoir that presents on-point observations about growing up, friendship and the confusing world of dating. Katie writes with such ease and skill that it's hard not to become completely wrapped up in her many relatable adventures. Her wit and intelligence effortlessly place her amongst today's great writers, and readers will be left thinking, "Finally, someone gets it." If you're a fan of Mindy Kaling, the New Adult genre or are simply looking for your next great read, Never Have I Ever is the book for you."—RT Book Reviews

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Customer Reviews

I recommend this book to any of my girlfriends who read.
amanda
I don't quite understand, though, because she says she wants to find a romantic relationship but she seems get scared when the prospect might become a reality.
Danielle
It's funny, witty, and down to earth while presenting unique and true perspectives on human relationships.
LWan

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 53 people found the following review helpful By BookGeek on January 14, 2014
Format: Paperback
Katie Heaney has never had a boyfriend. Never has she ever. She's a virgin, she's inexperienced and she is in her mid 20s. This is the hook of "Never Have I Ever" and it sticks through out the memoir, but it's about so much more. It's about a girl, a teenager and now a young woman trying to navigate a world where she seems to be the lone fish in the pond.

Katie (yes, I feel comfortable calling her Katie, because I have basically read her journal and that definitely puts us on a first name standing), outlines her life and how it relates to boys. I don't think we as women realize how tuned into the opposite sex we are. Our stories from grad school into adulthood and beyond chronicles adventures of getting boyfriends. Really think about it. Really think about it, from Sweet Valley High, to Pride & Prejudice to Eat Pray Love, these books take us on different adventures, and follows females figuring out who and what they are and want to be and ends with them falling in love.

That is what our society has set up for us, so imagine being twenty-five years old and never really falling in love. Never having a long term commitment. Never having sex or any kind of prospect for marriage. What does that make you?

Katie takes us deep into her psyche. We get sections of her journals, her funny retelling of her most embarrassing moments and she bravely tells us about the times that she cried. It starts off ridiculous and so true with first crushes on Jonathan Taylor Thomas (right! Didn't we all love us some JTT) to the crushes who ignored her and the crushes she ran away from.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Shannon Kelley on March 31, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Heaney has, with intense detail, written about the proud and few of us who somehow missed life's romantic relationship train. She writes with honesty and determination, and, as far as I'm concerned, correctly identifies us as Bermuda Triangles. We are not boring or dull women; we are not weird (at least, no more than the typical Lighthouse) or repulsive. We haven't done anything wrong, but still find ourselves lacking experiences that 'should' have happened a long time ago. She wonderfully explores this issue through the lenses of her own life and reminds us that we may be riddles to be solved, but we are not problems to be fixed.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Danielle VINE VOICE on July 9, 2014
Format: Paperback
When I saw this book, I thought that the premise was quite interesting. Usually people would be so embarrassed to not have been in a serious relationship by the age of 25, so I was curious what Katie would have to say. I was sorely disappointed. I had a really hard time I started this book at the end of March and I finished the book at the beginning of July. That's not usually the sign of a good book.

The book was essentially reading someone's diary. She spent a long time covering her grade school crushes. But that was not really that interesting because every little girl's diary entries talk about loving this boy in class or that cute celebrity. She talks about crushing on Jonathan Taylor Thomas in the 90's, which I can relate to because I was obsessed with him during sixth grade. It was just harder to get into that because if I wanted to read about silly school-girl crushes, I could dig out my own diaries.

The book progress through Katie's misses with guys through high school, college, and grad school. She goes on dates with guys but nothing progress very far. I don't quite understand, though, because she says she wants to find a romantic relationship but she seems get scared when the prospect might become a reality. She also seems to believe that the guy is supposed to read her mind that she's interested in him. She seems to want life to be a big romantic comedy and it just doesn't work that way. I just didn't see any progress from Katie from elementary school to age 25. At the end of the book she still is saying "boys" instead of men. If you're in your 20's, the male gender are men, not boys.

She said a couple of funny things but it just wasn't enough and I ended up skimming the last 40 or so pages. I wish the book had been better because it had potential to be pretty good. I wouldn't recommend this one.
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26 of 37 people found the following review helpful By garli on February 8, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The author tries really hard to be clever on ever page and nails it at least 3 different times. Basically to cut to the chase, she's seen way too many Nicholas Sparks movies. She clearly wants to not be single (or at least claims that) but doesn't want to take any emotional risks.

If I could talk to her I'd tell her the following.

1. The reason people date when there's not an instant spark is that some times it's awkward meeting new people and you want to see if they get less awkward with time.
2. If you think you can skip bad relationships by not dating in your early 20's you are incorrect. They're either gonna be bad or good depending on the people.
3. No one's gonna see you from across the room and want to kiss you in the rain. It's not because you're not pretty and you don't deserve that it's because life isn't a movie.
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30 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Monet K. St Louis on February 6, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
Honestly - i was VERY disappointed in this book. I figured - noting the title - that this would be a funny story about a girl who was a shut-in nerd (like me) who has never been on a date before, or had a boyfriend,(...like me too- although at 22 not proud of it). again LIKE THE TITLE STATES. But no. This was a 'memoir' or a 'biography' of the author (who i have never heard before). She is i believe 26 and has never had a real boyfriend before....that may be true, but she has been on many a dates, and made out with quite a few guys, and had several relationships with men that - if i had a friend spending that much time with a guy i would think they were dating. She was pretty much boy crazy from age 5 by the sounds of the story, and sounded like one of the crazy girls in high school who had her locker smeared with her at-the-moment-celebrity-crush and would ramble on and on and on (like she did in the book) about who ever she was IN LOVE with at the moment.

It was overall a very boring book, with crude language, and in my opinion horrible friends that are probably laughing at her right now for publishing this book. Overall this was a very disappointing book for me, seeing as i had pre-ordered the ebook on and was super excited to read it. oh well... guess its not just the pretty covers that i have to watch out for now, its the catchy titles too :D
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