Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges [Hardcover]

Guy Browning (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 22, 2005

How should an atheist respond to a sneeze? In an argument, how do you kick ass when you don’t have a leg to stand on? After years of exploring the small pockets in life’s backpack in his celebrated weekend Guardian “How to...” column, Guy Browning has become the authority on such matters. The runaway #1 British Bestseller Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade offers intelligent, practical advice on the level you need it, the trivial level:
o How to evaluate a bottle of wine (if the alcohol content is less than 15 percent, send it straight back)
o How to get what you want at the barber’s (no multipart instructions, please)
o How to stay warm in bed (when your partner has cold feet and steals the covers)
o How to be a fashionista (when your twenty-year-old wardrobe is suddenly back in vogue)
o How to pretend to laugh at a friend’s joke (the closest most men get to faking orgasm)
o How to fix a computer (If restarting it doesn’t work, turn it off and go back to a pre- industrial lifestyle.)

Covering cooking and eating, sleeping and waking, men and women, love and marriage, religion and politics, hedges and neighbors, Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade delivers the truth about the things that really matter. With a package as fun as its contents, it’s the ideal gift for anyone who wants to live life with a sense of humor.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Browning is a columnist for the Guardian in London, and this collection of his daily drolleries surprised everyone by becoming a huge hit in the U.K. last Christmas; it was number one on the Amazon list. It's a bathroom book or one for the night table, full of short takes with a great deal of no-nonsense (well, maybe a little nonsense) charm on such subjects as men and women, love and marriage, politics (although the work isn't political), religion (not that, either), fashion, cooking and such quintessentially British subjects as idling and pottering. Each column is presented as a "how to," so there's "How to Eat Cereal," for instance (never let someone else pour the milk). Following that is "How to Have a Bad Day" (don't inflict bad days on yourself in the first place, but there's more to it than that). The author has written a few extra essays just for the American edition, and the fun might be in trying to figure out which these are (certainly not "How to Have a Shed"). The book's dedication—"to His Royal Highness, Prince Charles, a King-sized good egg"—offers an oblique clue to the author's social circle and the book's take.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

A brilliant one-off in which everyday matters are skewered with deadpan style and deadly accuracy. (Sunday Times, London)

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 14 and up
  
• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Gotham (September 22, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592401694
• ISBN-13: 978-1592401697
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.3 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,485,811 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Audio Version-Laugh a minute, at the least, March 22, 2006

By 

Rubicks Cuber "Ken" (Los Lunas, NM USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges (Hardcover)

"How to laugh", "how to sit", "how to drink"...These CD's were about "how to" laugh at everything in life. This is a comical look at the small things in life. This was a delighfully entertaining book. I originally 'borrowed' it from my public library. I immediately purchased afterward.

This is not a serious 'how to' book. Obviously in a section on "how to sit" the author makes casual observances about these little things in life and how we do them with specific intent and we don't even know it. This is not intended to be a psychological analysis of everything we do, instead pokes fun at everything we do. While not a book on etiquette, Guy Browning seems to identify the 'do's' and don'ts' of eating, drinking, peeing, sitting, stratching, etc. based on subconscience thoughts we all have about ourselves, or what others might think about us. Maybe good thoughts. Maybe bad. All truly inciteful and humorous.

The tidbits are funny because for the most part they are true. I laughed out loud several times. The Audio CD version is 5.5 hrs. It was a delight to listen to one a day. It's too much for one sitting, but I looked forward to it each evening.

For those like me in the US, we also get an english vocabulary lesson, as many of the words I have never used myself, though I know what Guy Browning meant. The british accent is extremely easy to understand.

Audio Version (CD)- British actor Simon Vance read the book impecably and is a comedian in his own right.

Silly humor mixed with a little dry humor though all of it very easy to understand. I will try some more from this author.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!! Try it!!, November 30, 2005

By 

An Average Joe - See all my reviews

This review is from: Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges (Hardcover)

This is not really about how to survive life's small challenges, which may be why one other reviewer was so disappointed. Instead, it's about HOW TO MAKE YOU LAUGH! It's hilarious. If you like Dave Barry, you'll love this, too. Almost every single sentence is packed with funniness. That's why the chapters are so short--every sentence counts. Guy Browning is a very witty fellow, but also very down-to-earth. This would be a great Christmas/Birthday present for any literate guy with a sense of humor.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Guy Browning is good for a laugh, October 15, 2005

By 

H. Rose (USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Never Hit a Jellyfish With a Spade: How to Survive Life's Smaller Challenges (Hardcover)

I read Guy Browning's columns in The Guardian (newspaper in the UK). He can be both funny (ha ha) as well as funny (sad) at the same time.

In "How to Endure" he writes "Despite the plethora of human rights legislation, there is still no guaranteed right to a life of happiness and sunshine. Until this legislative oversight is fixed, into every life a little rain must fall. That's why it's important to have a pair of spiritual galoshes".

I don't know what drives Mr. Browning to write, I am just glad he does. This collection will be an important part of my library, of that I am certain. Right next to my spiritual galoshes.