Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn [Paperback]

Frank W. Bosworth (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 19, 2003

Lady G wrote:
Chapter after wonderful chapter. You did a great job on this book. And I know one thing for sure, I will hate to see it end. All in all a fantastic book. Way to go my friend.

Shaotzu wrote:
I must comment on the writing. Comedic writing is often the most difficult thing an author must do. Dialogue is in the top five. Combine the two and ask an author to present comedic dialogue- it's not easy. I like the work you did here and the timing was great. Keep up the entertainment.

Kromag wrote:
The whole story was great, you set the tone in the first few lines. It was a fantastic bit of comedy that served to further define the characters, and it was damn funny too.

Boja wrote:
It has been a long time since I have read something so touching. I did not know when to cry or laugh. I wish there was an emotion to do both at the same time. What a great book!!

Dark Garment wrote:
Excellent in every way. Great style, reminds me of David Eggers. Great emotion, great humour. That is, I must say, one of the best stories on this site. I applaud you.

Lyricl wrote:
FANTASTIC!!! You have kept me quite entertained with your words. Plus, that humorous only made it all the better. Highly enjoyable. Though I've yet to read all you have written, I can guarantee you THAT will certainly only be a temporary thing for me. Simply saying, I think you happen to be extraordinarily gifted at this writing thing. I look forward to checking out more of your work. Very interesting reading all the way. Keep up the great work. THANK YOU!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Always the observer, FW has spent a lifetime with the notion he is on the outside looking in. Everything gets noticed and noted, very little escapes. Needing a creative release, theatre, and all the boundless expression the stage allows, found him in his mid-twenties, catching him quite by surprise. An actor, director, producer, stand-up comic, poet, street performer, lover of the short story, he realized writing was the one thread binding them, holding him, together. Writing is the one area he feels totally at ease with.

Out on his own early in life, at times he has had to survive on sheer wit, wily ways, and wishful wisdom. Where to some life is a test, FW likens it more to a pop-quiz. Only those quick enough, creative enough, witty enough to react, are allowed to move on to the next experience, the next round.

Over the years, luck, fate, and roads traveled, have put, placed, dropped, a wealth of colorful characters in his path. He read somewhere, "Writers write best writing of what they know." So with, "Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn", he has decided to start at the beginning, chronicling the oft times funny, oft times emotional, oft times dramatic, yet always colorful characters chance assembled to orbit his formative youth.

So sit back, put your feet up, pull the box of Junior Mints ® a bit closer. The show is about to begin.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter One

The "Great Gray Monster" had stood empty and spooky-looking for a very long time, sitting three house lots behind us. We lived in the other pauper's palace. The "Great White Elephant" towered in monumental tribute to the vast legion of do-it-yourselfers over many decades past.

Whenever either house was sold it went for pennies on the dollar. Both needed major work. Major extensive structural work. Major expensive structural work. This, along with repairing, replacing, gutting, and finishing years of half-baked projects and half-assed outcomes by many past well-intentioned summer owners, would have cost a pretty penny to correct.

"Makes no sense throwing good money after bad. Don't much matter, we don't have either one," my dad would say. Then he'd grin, chuckle, cough, huck a louie, fart, and walk away. All at the same time.

I tried it once when I was seven and sprained my ankle.

_____________________________________________

Downstairs was the kitchen sink, and upstairs a bathroom hand sink and an old "iron-claw" tub. Sunday night was bath night. This was the only night the tub was used, and even then never ever filled, because when filled to normal the water's weight made the old warped floorboards "pop" and "tic." My mother was convinced one day the tub would come crashing down into the living room and we would all drown. Not to mention the luckless soul sitting on the sofa, located directly beneath the tub, would be crushed. Getting ready for school on cool New England spring mornings, chilly falls, and bitterly cold winters, I would fill up the hand sink with hot water, fold my arms, immerse them, then plunge my face in. Not having a proper heating system in my year-round summer house, this was not so much to wash-up as it was to get warm.

"Freeze the brass off a bald monkey!" my dad would say on chilly mornings.

"Freeze the balls off a brass monkey!" he'd say in the winters deep-freeze.

I thought of this as blue-collar meteorology.

____________________________________________

Product Details

• Paperback: 204 pages
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing (November 19, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1412013054
• ISBN-13: 978-1412013055
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,715,129 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Book of Quick and Subtle Wit, February 8, 2004

By 

Margie Digiovanni "maggie d" (Longboat Key, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn (Paperback)

The work by this author grabs you and won't let go as he leads you through his own brand of humor. One minute you're laughing until tears begin to fall. Underneath the comedy is a life made bearable by a quick and ready wit. Some of the humor is subtle and at other times it's a whirlwind and you're caught in the middle. Worth reading more than once.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars get ready to laugh!, February 12, 2006

By 

Rebecca Brown "rebeccasreads" (Clallam Bay, WA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn (Paperback)

Rebeccasreads recommends NEVER PLAY LEAPFROG WITH A UNICORN as a total change of pace -- as in a non-stop stampede of naughty, heartbreaking & giggle-inducing dialogues & troubles.

Not sure if it's part memoir or wishful remembering, however, it is a mad rush of breathless scenes as seen through the eyes of the son of a miner with quite a lot of profound insights skating on the thin ice of the insanity that afflicts dysfunctional families.

Wrap your mind around NEVER PLAY LEAPFROG WITH A UNICORN, & see if you can look at your own life, without laughing.

Not all books have to be serious, & this one could stand up as a routine at a comedy club.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars unexpected GREAT read, November 28, 2010

By 

rachel c (austin, tx) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn (Kindle Edition)

this book was quirky and funny even in the dark story line. i loved it! i am usually a fairly slow reader but i read this book in 1 sitting! it was laugh out loud funny. a very easy read but a great read! i would love to read more from this author!