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Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel
 
 
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Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel [Hardcover]

Neal Pollack (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 30, 2003

These names defined the mayhem, excess and glory of American rock for half a century, but only Neal Pollack was there for every note of every show, except for the shows he missed. Only Neal Pollack saw Memphis with Elvis, the Village with Dylan, and the depressed Pacific Northwest with Kurt Cobain. Only Neal Pollack had the extra-potent cough syrup that they all so desperately craved.

From the twisted mind of America’s most-photographed satirist comes a raw protean yawp from the depths of nowhere, a hilarious trip through time that savagely parodies the history of rock-‘n’-roll and its grandiloquent journalism.

The fictional Neal Pollack, born Norbert Pollackovitz before being renamed, by Elvis, at his Bar Mitzvah, first hears the blues as a child. The notes come from the guitar of Clambone Jefferson, an ancient, mythical character who Pollack spends the rest of his life chasing as the source of music’s primal allure. In that pursuit, Pollack becomes a renegade rock journalist whose screeds appear in such high-profile publications as Hillbilly Hot Rag! and Broken Testicle. He seduces Patti Smith and Joan Baez. He discovers Kurt Cobain. He goes on pharmacopoeial binges that put the most reckless, bloated rock star to shame.

Through it all, the real Neal Pollack, the greatest American novelist of his generation, manages to echo the style of overeducated blowhards while tackling the history of blues, rock, punk, post-punk and post-post-punk with equal enthusiasm and disdain.

Never Mind the Pollacks is a rock novel that really rocks. Like a classic album, it opens with a kick in the guts, proceeds to a bite in the shins, and ends with an uppercut to the jaw, leaving you bloodied, awed, and grateful. Along the way, it manages to uncover America’s sellouts and false idols. So drink some cough syrup and put on Iggy and the Stooges’ Raw Power. Better yet, burn your copy of Raw Power and listen to something new. Because rock, like literature, must destroy itself. Thankfully, Neal Pollack is here to kill them both.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In his latest satiric bid for immortality (after The Neil Pollack Anthology of American Literature: The Collected Writings of Neal Pollack), humorist Pollack details the life of a famed rock critic named, predictably, Neal Pollack, and takes swipes at scores of legends along the way. Styled as a series of interviews by rival rock critic Paul St. Pierre, conducted after Pollack's untimely death, the novel charts the history of Neal, born Norbert Pollackovitz in 1941 Memphis, Tenn. Norbert's love for music is evident early on, and soon he and neighborhood pal Elvis Presley are making noise in town. When Elvis accidentally backs over Norbert's father with a truck, Norbert is on his own and is christened Neal Pollack by his pals; he soon flees town to discover the world. St. Pierre's progress in examining the life of the "grizzled monster" is slow until he visits Bob Dylan in Woodstock, N.Y. As Dylan tells it, he met Pollack in 1961, at Woody Guthrie's bedside. The incorrigible Pollack goes on to steal Joan Baez away from Dylan and then moves to Liverpool to become a star rock critic. By the mid-'70s, Pollack returns to Manhattan; Johnny Rotten, Iggy Pop, David Bowie and, later, Kurt Cobain make cameos. Saturated with original song lyrics and pop-up appearances by rock music's greatest legends, Pollack's novel has a swinging appeal. Not everyone will want to tune in for the author's manic tongue-in-cheek self-canonization-his kitchen-sink approach sometimes makes for garbled reading-but Spinal Tap fans and groupies everywhere will be delighted.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Billed as "a rock-'n'-roll novel"--"rock-'n'-roll-critic novel" is probably more accurate--Pollack's foray into fiction isn't that much of a leap from his fictitious essays written by his alter ego, the "Greatest Living American Writer," Neal Pollack (The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, 2002). In his first novel, he tells the story of a late, great rock critic also named Neal Pollack. Pollack, the character, was a self-destructive, prescient, loose cannon of a critic (not unlike Lester Bangs) who was discovered by Sam Phillips in 1951, several years before he discovered Elvis Presley. In fact, Pollack was instrumental in getting Elvis to Sun studios for his first recordings (later he wrote about Elvis in 'zines) and, it turns out, in launching the careers of Dylan, the Stones, Iggy Pop, and Kurt Cobain. Iconoclastic, sometimes hilarious, and always mean-spirited, Pollack (the novelist) spares no one in his satirical jeremiad aimed at popular music and the critics who take it so seriously. Benjamin Segedin
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Harper; 1 edition (September 30, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060527900
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060527907
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,543,721 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

23 Reviews
5 star:
 (11)
4 star:
 (4)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
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Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (23 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars pretty vacant, July 29, 2005
By 
Rachel E. Pollock (Chapel Hill, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel (Hardcover)
Never Mind the Pollacks by Neal Pollack is alternately brilliant and trash, and if you are at all into the history of rock music, Thompsonian mania, sex, drugs, puking on shoes, f**king the establishment, riding the snake to the lake, and flipping birds or wearing sunglasses in every photograph ever taken of you, definitely read this book.

At the very least it's good for some seriously hard laughs, and even when he fails at what he's doing, it's like seeing your favorite band play a bad show--you still get the gist of what he was going for, and as is true with rock-and-roll in general, you just can't be on all the time.

Now, i'm going to go puke up 8 martinis and pass out cold.

Note: I am no relation to Mr Pollack. My surname has two O's.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Like Sam Phillips, In Search Of The White Wail, November 5, 2003
By 
J. D. Finch (Kerouac Country, New England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel (Hardcover)
Rock and roll is the people's music and in Never Mind The Pollacks, A Rock And Roll Novel by Neal Pollack, Neal Pollack, the critic, bounces off the people who make the music to always hilarious and often pointed effect.

When he stops bouncing he usually finds himself down and out, yet luckily beneath the soft white underbelly of the holy cow of rock and roll, its teats thankfully there to squirt its rejuvenating fluids into Pollack's grateful face. That and he's watched over by the magic bluesman, Clambone, as enigmatic yet down to earth as the blues itself.

Pollack often seems oblivious to his journey through rock, while we are fortunate enough to enjoy the likes of Elvis, Iggy, Dylan, The Stones, et al as they pass through the zonked out haze that is Pollack's world. But hey, that world is rock and roll.

Don't think Pollack is some insignificant Forest Gump-like character batted around existence like one of Gump's ping-pong balls: Pollack is important enough that another rock critic wants to write his biography. And though it seems the lame and effete Paul St. Pierre may never truly grasp Pollack's importance or meaning to the world they both inhabit, a final face off with his subject gives him a double shot of the rock and roll life that Pollack has lived and St. Pierre has only written about from a distance.

But screw the analyses. If you like to rock and like to laugh you can do both of these things until it hurts. Plus there's an apocalypse at the end. And it's not just some damn high school blowing up or something.

So, I rate Never Mind The Pollacks #1. With a bullet.

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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Like a Clam (With a Bone in It), October 8, 2003
This review is from: Never Mind the Pollacks: A Rock and Roll Novel (Hardcover)
Never Mind the Pollacks is just like every other sanctimonious book that tells the history of rock 'n' roll and why we're supposed to care, but with one significant difference: this one is actually entertaining. I read it straight through in the course of one very empty day, which, in retrospect, probably was not a great idea, as this is a thing to be savored, but I couldn't help myself. I tried, Lord how I tried, but I simply could not help myself. So, if you're the least bit interested in the history of rock, or just enjoy being amused, or like seeing various icons skewered with needle-sharp wit, or merely enjoy buying things, this is the book for you!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
The phone rang in the post-noon dusk, and I answered it, because I'd told them not to call me unless somebody famous died. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
pile ofshit, gasoline girl, greatest band, rock critic
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Neal Pollack, New York, Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, Sam Phillips, Jerry Lee, New Jersey, Coney Island, Dee Dee, Kansas City, Woody Guthrie, Andy Warhol, Patti Smith, Black Flag, Clambone Jefferson, Elvis Presley, Emmett O'Donnell, Dewey Phillips, Iggy Pop, Joan Baez, Maxwell Street, Rolling Stones, Vernon Pollackovitz, Joey Ramone, Los Angeles
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