I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag: A Memoir of a Life Through Events--the Ones You Plan and the Ones You Don't [Hardcover]

Jennifer Gilbert (Author)

Book Description

Release date: May 15, 2012

I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag is a warm, wise, and wholly original memoir of survival, renewal, and transformation, by one of New York City’s most successful and respected special events coordinators.

With her top-level events company, Save the Date, Jennifer Gilbert has worked with Fortune 500 companies, broadcast media giants, international nonprofit organizations, and celebrities from Oprah Winfrey to Bill Gates and beyond. Yet few of her clients or colleagues have known, until now, that Jennifer not only a self-made success: she’s also a survivor. After a random, near-fatal attack left her body in critical condition on a crowded city street, and left her with emotional wounds that would take years to heal, Jennifer embarked upon a journey to reclaim her life.

This is her story, in her own words: I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag, an intimate, poignant, inspiring memoir of perseverance, rediscovery, and hope.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“A savvy, often funny account of the ups and downs of building a business; a penetrating look at how [Gilbert] overcame the psychological scars of the attack; a warm and happy ending. You’ll laugh with her, you’ll learn from her, and you’ll be glad you made her acquaintance.” (Parade )

“Packed with funny stories about bridezillas and demented captains of industry, this is a fascinating tale of how we regain joy in the aftermath of unspeakable horror.” (People (3 ½ stars) )

” It would be easy to get caught up in the chatty details of all the near-disasters Gilbert encounters in her fast-paced life in the world of event planning but this memoir is about more than cake and flowers.” (Library Journal )

“Breathtakingly honest, funny, and surprising, I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag is the unforgettable story of how, after a traumatic encounter in her twenties, Jennifer Gilbert found her way back to happiness. I couldn’t stop reading.” (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project )

“This is a beautiful and brave memoir, full of hard-won wisdom. I read it in one sitting. It speaks from the heart and to the heart.” (Dani Shapiro, author of Devotion )

“What distinguishes Gilbert’s memoir from the inspirational survivor pack is her willingness to share the bumps along her road to recovery. . . . [A] likable memoir that shows we can choose to be more than the sum of those events that are beyond our control.” (Kirkus Reviews )

From the Back Cover

When Jennifer Gilbert was just a year out of college, a twenty-two-year-old fresh-faced young woman looking forward to a bright future, someone tried to cut her life short in the most violent way. But she survived, and not wanting this traumatic event to define her life, she buried it deep within and never spoke of it again.

She bravely launched a fabulous career in New York as an event planner, designing lavish parties and fairy-tale weddings. Determined to help others celebrate and enjoy life's greatest moments, she was convinced she'd never again feel joy herself. Yet it was these weddings, anniversaries, and holiday parties, showered with all her love and attention through those silent, scary years, that slowly brought her back to life.

Always the calm in the event-planning storm—she could fix a ripped wedding dress, solve the problem of an undelivered wedding cake in the nick of time, and move a party with two days' notice when disaster struck—there was no crisis that she couldn't turn into a professional triumph. Somewhere along the way, she felt a stirring in her heart and began yearning for more than just standing on the sidelines living vicariously through other people's lives. She fell in love, had her heart broken a few times, and then one day she found true love in a place so surprising that it literally knocked her out of her chair.

As Gilbert learned over and over again, no one's entitled to an easy road, and some people's roads are bumpier than others. But survive each twist and turn she does—sometimes with tears, sometimes with laughter, and often with both.

Warm, wise, alternately painful and funny, I Never Promised You a Goodie Bag is an inspiring memoir of survival, renewal, and transformation. It's a tale about learning to let go and be happy after years of faking it, proving that while we can't always control what happens to us, we can control who we become. And instead of anticipating our present in a goodie bag at the end of an event, we realize our presence at every event is the real gift.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Harper (May 15, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062075942
• ISBN-13: 978-0062075949
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (104 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #187,571 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jennifer Gilbert is the Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of Save the Date, a New York-based special events company. She was the youngest--and the only woman--recipient of the Entrepreneur of the Year from Ernst & Young that year; she was awarded Working Woman's Entrepreneurial Award of Excellence; and her company was named among the top 500 woman-owned businesses. A frequent speaker, she has appeared at New York University, Columbia Business School, and at numerous industry events. She lives in New York City with her husband and their three children. Visit her website at www.savethedate.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 37 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Memoir of Resilience, Inspiration and Love March 3, 2012

By Rachel Kramer Bussel VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

I read a lot of memoirs, and was drawn to this one because of the title. It sounded cute and fun. What I got instead was one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Jennifer Gilbert's story is one I think all women in New York City, certainly (and elsewhere!) should read, as she opens up about the attack by a stranger that almost killed her, and then how she coped with it, both in healthy and less healthy ways. She is searingly honest about how the attack affected her closest relationships, with friends, family and romantic partners, how it helped drive her event planning business, Save the Date, and how it affected her process of getting pregnant. I stayed up late to finish this, utterly inspired by Gilbert's drive, her ability to, sometimes grudgingly, love herself, learn how to be a better person and let go of the shame she held onto around her attack. She goes back to topics she'd gone over earlier and gives different perspectives as she moves through major life passages, like becoming a mother.

Gilbert is humble, as well as humbled by what she's been through, and while I got many lessons out of this book, the biggest one is that what you look like on the outside isn't always how you feel on the inside. I'm sure this is something everyone instinctively knows, but when you read about Gilbert's hiding of her scars, facing her attacker in court, her chasing after unavailable men until finally welcoming love (with some cold feet along the way), learning from her children that once you start on a course of action, no matter how instinctual and habitual it feels, that you can always change, was incredibly moving. Gilbert writes, "The scariest step is always the first one." In this memoir, she takes multiple first steps, both literally, and figuratively. She rebuilds herself from the inside out, over and over, and has an incredible amount of empathy, mostly for others, and eventually, for herself. While about her very personal story of building a successful business and life from a tragic event, this memoir will also speak to anyone looking to move beyond their past and learn from it and help it mold them not into someone who succeeds despite their past, but because of it. Read this book, and keep tissues handy.

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Lot Of Courage And A Touch Of Genius February 25, 2012

By J. A. Bell VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

Albert Einstein said, "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

For years, Jennifer Gilbert, "Chief Visionary Office" and founder of "Save The Date," has focused on other people, committing herself to helping them celebrate milestones and lifetime achievements, sometimes with grandiose events. In this autobiography, she shines her spotlight inward with laser-edged awareness, revealing her insecurities, motivations, frailties and strengths.

In Part One, the author recounts the horrific attack she endured at the hands of a stranger and the aftermath that left her questioning "everything" and what might have caused it to happen. Through sheer determination, the former "happy-go-lucky" girl from the suburbs created a life for herself in New York City.

With the help of a good therapist, Gilbert began to loosen "the tight grip" on her emotions, dedicating herself to relationships and her work. It's impressive and inspirational to realize that this ultra-successful event planner (whose company grossed $30 million one year) began by making "cold calls" at a small company, "working non-stop" for $18,000 plus commission. She recounts some amusing stories about events, throughout the years, that nearly spiraled out of control. Her creative solutions to the problems that inevitably arose demonstrated a touch of genius.

The author also gives a logical narration of her years of dating and how she came to commit to her long-time friend, her "rock," Bennett, their subsequent "surprise wedding," difficulty getting pregnant (and IVF), and parenthood. I appreciated her overall honesty and snippets of humor, and I marveled at her courage, determination and personal growth.

Compelling subject matter and highly polished prose made this a "super fast read."

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars ... May 30, 2012

By Chel Micheline TOP 100 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)

Jennifer Gilbert survived a HORRIBLE ordeal- she was almost stabbed to death by a crazed man who followed her into an apartment building and stabbed her repeatedly with a screwdriver. Despite the incredible pain and suffering she went through as a result of that random attack, Gilbert still managed to launch an amazing career as an executive and high-end party planner- she managed by keeping her suffering deeply to herself, hiding both her physical and emotional scars to everyone around her, including close friends and family. Her story is to be commended.

My main issue with this book is the way it sort of goes back-and-forth. There are these incredibly moving and honest accounts of Gilbert's intense suffering, as well as the struggle that came with making a psychological recovery. And then, a few pages later, she's talking about nightclubs in Europe and the sparkly slinky dresses she and her friends wore to impress the bouncers. In the next chapter, Gilbert goes into vivid detail about her desperate efforts to hide the scars on her legs and lower torso by never taking off her shorts during her stays at her luxurious summers in the Hamptons, but she makes absolutely sure to mention that all she wears on top is a bikini. It just doesn't connect for me.

There's so much amazing writing that is negated by small details that are thrown in to make sure we understand how connected Gilbert is. Lots of name dropping, traveling, status-stuff. I tried to overlook it, but every time she'd suck me in and make a really profound point about her recovery or an astute observation about life, she'd follow it up with something quite shallow.

I have to be honest, that weird sort of "up and down" made me wonder what Gilbert's story really is. It's not that I doubt Gilbert, it's just that I think she's still doing a fair amount of "covering up" to protect the injured parts of herself that she still hasn't resolved. I wish she knew she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone- she's clearly a survivor and should stand firm in the fact that she got through this ordeal and managed to make a beautiful life despite a crazed man's effort to end it.

This is a well written book, and it's an inspiring story of survival. But it's also a reminder of Gilbert's social status. Unfortunately, those constant reminders put a sour taste on an otherwise bittersweet story of an incredibly resilient woman.