I Never Woke Up 'til I Was Forty [Paperback]

Martha Knight Foster (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 6, 2006

Annie Bloom has just turned forty. Open this book, Dear Reader, and share in Annie's poignant yet humourous journey to her True Self.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Martha Knight Foster is a free-lance writer who has been published in the following: Aim Magazine; Bangor Daily News; Country Victorian Magazine; eBay Magazine; Maine Sunday Telegram; and The Villager. She lives in Maine with her husband, son and four dogs.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Dear Journal,

Who Am I?

As of today I've spent forty years on this earth. Feeling 'different' so run to mirror for quick evaluation of face that reveals that, unfortunately, teeth still slightly crooked, crow's feet evident,and gray hairs abound. True Self, who has just moved in with me, concludes that 'different' feeling must be emotional rather than physical in nature.

Is there more to me than Good Mother, Good Daughter, and Good Wife?

Is there part of me that's missing?

Go to kitchen, fix cup of tea, and ponder Meaning Of Life...

What Is It?

Annie

Dear Journal,

Spend day taking care of Ben, my five-year- old son, and reviewing list of New Year's resolutions, most of which have already been broken.

List is as follows:

1. Lose weight

2. Be myself, or True Self, and stop caring so much about What Others Think.

3. Live in The Present rather than sorrows of The Past or exaggerated expectations of The Future.

4. Try to keep resolutions, if humanly possible

5. Try to still be human in spite of resolutions.

Is there happy medium between True Self and living in Harmony with the rest of the world?

Time Will Tell,

Annie

Dear Journal,

Do any of us ever know who we are or is life one gigantic quest towards this illusive goal? I am into the second week of the New Year and have been so busy trying to keep up with Real Life that I have had very little time for self- examination.

Is this good or bad?

I have always envied those who appear to lead a happy and carefree surface existence even though that has never been my style.

Is it better to examine life deeply or just to drift from day to day? Is there a happy medium between the two? If so, what is it?

I may never have all the answers. I know that. But I do enjoy seeking them out. It's part of who I am. It's part of

Being Annie,

Me

Dear Journal,

To my astonishment, turn on favorite talk show to again see Famous Starlet (whose agent I refrained from calling) bemoaning fact that she's "always in the public eye" and misses being with her family. True Self is now convinced that Famous Starlet is eloquent liar.

Famous Starlet goes on to promote her new book that, she claims, was written in "just three weeks." True Self knows this is further proof that Famous Starlet should be given honorary degree in bullcrap.

Do lying and achieving Fame And Fortune go hand in hand?

Poor But Honest,

Annie

Dear Journal,

Purchase leading women's magazine that has beautiful, but obviously sex-starved, younger woman on cover whose breasts are on the verge of falling out of her dress.

Does this woman ever wear regular clothes, or has she ever attempted breast-feeding? Expression on her face gives the impression that she only thinks about One Thing and could care less about regular clothes and breastfeeding. True Self ponders state of my own body that, if it were black, would fit very nicely in the African pages of the National Geographic. Make mental note to buy new bras, since boobs are currently having an affair with my naval, and must remember that beauty is only skin deep and beautiful and sex-starved woman has

Her Problems, Too,

Annie

Dear Journal,

Spend several hours, in between doing housework that average maid service would charge me exorbitant price to perform, Reading book by well-known female writer who says that we should write about that which we know and ideas are "all around us." True Self feels very encouraged so sits down to make list of subjects on which I could easily write at great length.

Become somewhat depressed, however, when I glance at list after one hour of writing and it contains only the following:

1. The fine art of having your period.

2. How it feels to own the only black collie in America.

3. How to live a full and cultured life on a budget.

True Self knows nothing about the last one so immediately scratch it off the list. Female Writer goes on to say that "really good ideas usually appear to us when we are not trying to think of them and when we are doing practically nothing, like when we're day -dreaming." She goes on to say that her best ideas came to her after she had "devoted days to doing nothing."

Does Female Writer have hired help or does her family prefer TV dinners?

Is Female Writer a Super Woman?

Is there such a thing as a Super Woman?

If there is, True Self hopes she Never Meets Her,

Annie

Product Details

• Paperback: 204 pages
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing (July 6, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1553954408
• ISBN-13: 978-1553954408
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,256,921 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #9 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Women's Health > Menstruation

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Offering a recognizable human experience, January 17, 2004

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Never Woke Up 'til I Was Forty (Paperback)

Deftly written in the form of a collection of one-page journal notes, I Never Woke Up 'Til I Was Forty by Martha Knight Foster is an engaging portrait of Annie Bloom, a fictional woman dealing with her turning point in life. Telling of Annie's struggles with the roles of wife and mother, and offering a recognizable human experience that women everywhere can relate to, I Never Woke Up 'Til I Was Forty is a most enjoyable read with a deeply resonating undercurrent.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm a maine-iac for this book!!!, November 12, 2003

By 

BBaldacci (Portland, Maine United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Never Woke Up 'til I Was Forty (Paperback)

I live in Maine myself and had the chance to get my hands on I Never Woke Up Till I Was Forty a few weeks before it showed up here at Amazon.com.

I know it's been a major topic of conversation for both myself and lots of other people in my area -- from young to old.

I was pleased to see that this book is now finally available on the internet for people all across the country to order. It's a wonderful, funny peek into the life of an Every Woman -- identifiable to millions of women from coast to coast. She is our mother, our friend, our acquintance.

Martha gives us a character to attach ourselves to and get connected with. The story makes you think, ponder, and laugh at your own life. It's been truly one of the best books I've read in awhile and it's diary format really adds to the journey Annie Bloom takes us on. I promise it will not disappoint!!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny!, October 27, 2008

By 

Bruce T. Batchelor "Bruce Batchelor" (Victoria, BC Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Never Woke Up 'til I Was Forty (Paperback)

Martha has written a very funny book -- and don't just take my word for it.

When I wrote my book on marketing this is what I revealed...
(This is an excerpt from Book Marketing DeMystified: Enjoy Discovering the Optimal Way to Sell Your Self-Published Book, Practical advice from the inventor of print-on-demand (POD) publishing)...

Martha Knight Foster wrote a humorous and heartwarming account
of her mid-life crises in her novel I Never Woke Up 'Til I Was Forty [isbn
1553954408]. She sent a draft copy to the famous comedienne Phyllis
Diller with a letter telling Diller how she was an inspiration for Martha's
writing style. Diller wrote Martha back to thank her and gave her book
this glowing endorsement: "It is fabulous funny reading. LOVE, Phyllis
Diller."
By including Diller's comments on the book's back cover and all
marketing materials, suddenly Martha had transformed her product
from "just any novel" into a "fabulous funny reading" experience endorsed
by one of America's top celebrities. Clever idea!