Customer Reviews

The New Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are

5 star:		(35)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I bought this book because I was pregnant with my third, and I wanted to avoid my children falling into the "stereotypical" birth order roles. I no longer feel that my youngest daughter's new middle role is the kiss of death. I learned how to handle my oldest's perfectionist tendancies without causing her to lose heart when things don't go right.

Probably the best thing though, is I learned something about myself (a firstborn) and my husband (a middle child) which has helped us work together in our marriage and in parenting. I also learned how to drop the firstborn critical perfectionism expectations with my children and myself.

My only complaint is that he uses much of the book as an autobiography on his life as the "baby" of the family and also a biography on his children and their roles in his unique family. He does spend alot of time on firstborns and only children- which can be gratifying to those of us in that category- talking about how they can overcome the negatives of their family birth order and the positives of their birth order, including all the wonderful job opportunities that first borns have due to their ingrown leadership skills and sense of responsibility. But he does not do the same for middle's and babies. Leaving them somewhat more of a mystery to me. If he ever redoes the book, I would urge him to give the other birth orders the same in depth review and less about his personal experiences which are definately not general enough for the general audience.

This is the type of book that makes a lightbulb pop over your head. You will understand yourself more, as well as your family. Leman is funny and extremely down to earth in his writing style (and I love his Christian references). He also includes very sound advice on relating to and parenting certain birth orders. I just finished this book, and I now want to read his "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours".

My friends get sick of me recommending Dr. Leman's books. Quite frankly, they are all excellent, this one being no exception.

This is an excellent study in birth order psychology, and I would recommend it to anyone. Not only did Dr. Leman's book make me realise I was a perfectionistic FREAK, but it helped me become OK with myself.

Dr. Leman's research is excellent, and his writing style is funny, personal and very easy to read. I have found his conclusions ring true again and again, and I would recommend this book to anyone wishing to learn more about themselves or the people around them.

I have read several of Dr. Leman's books, all of which I would recommend. He is an excellent psychologist and an excellent author.

I purchased this book because I wanted to understand more about my birth order (2nd born/last of two). I quickly found myself frustrated with the first chapters because the focus seemed to be on the first born.

Also, Dr. Leman spends way too much time in most chapters talking about himself, his childhood, his kids, etc. He tries to explain his theories through hypothetical family breakdowns (none of which fit my own!) instead of giving statistics and probability figures.

The most useful pieces of the book are the "trait" diagrams for firstborn, middle, and last born personality types that show strengths and weaknesses. Also, he has a good chapter to help perfectionists deal with extremes and understand that excellence is a more attainable goal.

I read the first edition of this book after hearing about it from my sister. Since that time, I've used it to get to know people better and I can truly understand why people do things differently than others! I have also used Dr. Leman's book as a Sunday School lesson, and as a program for my women's organization - always giving credit to the author, of course. When we're through with our meeting, everyone knows each other better and finds something about each person that they can relate better to. Everyone loves the book because it's about THEMSELVES!

As a father of three girls my mother-in-law suggested my wife and I read the first edition of this book over 10 (?) years ago, since then we have recommended it to literally hundreds of couples. It has given me a keen sense of insight into the actions and reactions of my own three children from the age of 6, 4, and 2 years through their present teenage years. But what's more incredible is that since reading your book I've been able to place 90-95 % of the adult family relationships I have seen into a manageable framework.

So I read the book and am intrigued by the theory but it was hard to read the theory between irrelevant references by the author to how great he is and totally irrelevant remarks referring to his Christianity. Christiany and how a person interacts with God has nothing to do with his scientific theory and should stay out of the book.

If the author had just stuck to explaining the theory without the unnecessary fluff it would have been a great book (even though I challenge the author to predict my birth order and that of my siblings).

If you ever wondered why your older sister screamed at you for misplacing her nail polish or why your bratty little brother couldn't sit still at the dinner table, the two of you would do well to read this book. Author and psychologist Kevin Leman, a last born child, investigates the psychology of birth order, which deems that our sex and where we fall among our siblings can have profound affects on our attitudes and behavior. He provides plenty of examples from his own family and ensures that you aren't the only one who thinks your siblings need straightening out.

The whys of each "birth order," i.e. first born, middle child, last born, only child, are examined. First borns and only children, for example, can be pressured from a young age to act as little adults because they don't have the benefit of interaction with siblings. Hence, they often fill leadership positions. Middle children prove to be great mediators because they have learned to juggle the extremes of older and younger siblings, while last borns capitalize on the mistakes of their older brothers and sisters.

This book is an amusing yet insightful read. In addition to explaining "why you are the way you are," Leman suggests how we can adopt the positive qualities of other birth orders to make our lives more enjoyable and fulfilling. As he carefully points out, birth order psychology is not a sure bet on everyone you encounter in life, but what you pick up from his book will leave you with some pretty good guesses.

As a mental health counselor who works with parents with children birth - 4, I use birth order in most of my sessions. It helps parents understand the differences between their children and APPRECIATE THOSE DIFFERENCES! Birth order also helps parents understand their "own place" growing up with their siblings. As a twin myself, birth order is RIGHT ON TARGET! I recommend this book to everybody!

I bought this book to take on vacation with my extended family and pass it around at the beach for fun and conversation. I had to fight for time to read it solo, and ended up reading it cover to cover in a day or two. It was exactly right on the mark. I liked the author a lot and will definately buy his other books. If you are a first born perfectionist read this book! It has an especially good chapter on parenting first borns as well. Very fun to read, and what a bonus - it is extremely informative and useful.