Jodie Carter is a writer, editor, and video producer who covers the science of addiction and recovery.
William C. Moyers is executive director of the Center for Public Advocacy at Hazelden Foundation and is the author of
Broken: My Story of Addiction and Redemption. A recovering cocaine addict, Moyers' mission is to carry the message of recovery to others who are impacted by addiction and to change public attitudes about addiction. He is the son of Bill Moyers, the renowned broadcast journalist.
Preface
In August 1989, my mother came to visit me in the psychiatric ward of a hospital in New York City, where I was confined following a fifteen-year struggle against alcohol and other drugs. She brought with her bottles of spring water, peanuts and crackers, and a three-subject Mead notebook with a $1.79 price tag stuck on the blue cover.
"Maybe you'll want to put down your thoughts and experiences," she offered, trying to sound resolute and hopeful, but I could hear the pain in her voice. It's a harsh reality for any mother to accept that her first-born son is an alcoholic and a drug addict. "You've always had a talent for expressing yourself. I hope this notebook will help you through the challenges you face," she said.
At first I didn't know what to do with the notebook. Sitting in that psych ward, I was emerging from the fog of an addiction that had numbed me to the real world for too long. My perceptions were raw, confused, and tangled up with shame.
The notebook sat unopened for a few days. When I wasn't in group therapy, all I could do was stare out the barred window and try to figure out what had happened to me. And then one day, suddenly, I picked up the notebook and began to write: . . .
Why Should You Take the Time to Write in This Journal?
In early Twelve Step recovery, people are encouraged to tell their story as a way to openly and honestly acknowledge their powerlessness over their addiction. As they work the Steps, this story unfolds further when they take stock of themselves and their behavior. A journal can be a valuable tool in this reflective and introspective process because it helps you acknowledge and accept these truths, without judgment. Recording your history in a journal better prepares you to interact honestly with others in peer recovery groups, and with your family and friends. . .
Step Two
Heal Your Mind, Body, Spirit
Day 36 to Day 65 . . .
Day 37
Deal with Addictive Thinking
The key to dealing with addictive thinking is to stop the thought before they build into an overwhelming craving to use alcohol or other drugs. Addiction feeds on negative attitudes and resistance to spiritual growth. Watch for signs of self-pity, impatience, blame, rationalization, resentment, anger, and pessimism. These can undermine your recovery. Examples of addictive thinking include the following:
- I don't need to work the Twelve Steps.
- I can have just one drink, and then I'll stop.
- People who go to Twelve Step meetings are losers.
- If others had my problems, they'd use or drink too.
Take a good look inside and ask yourself whether you engage in addictive thinking. Describe the addictive thoughts that hold you back. Talk to your sponsor or recovery group for guidance on how you can overcome these roadblocks to recovery.
© 2008. William Cope Moyers with Jodie Carter. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Hazelden Foundation, Center City, Minnesota, 55012.
