Customer Reviews

The New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in Your Child

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4 star:		(1)
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Dr. Dobson does an excellent job of getting across the basics of child psychology and how they relate to self-esteem, without either talking over the readers' heads or talking down to them. He describes some of the ways that parents can untentionally weaken their children's self-esteem and many ways to prevent or remedy that situation, ultimately giving the child a self-image that is based on inherent worth rather than abilities, attractiveness, possessions or performance. This book is highly recommended to anyone who is disappointed in the prevailing current views on how to build a child's self-esteem, and wants to try a better way--God's way.

Excellent Book, one every parent and/or parent-to-be should read! Timely delivery and in excellent condition!

I have read a couple of other books by James C. Dobson, a psychologist and professor of clinical pediatrics who founded Focus on the Family, namely Dare to Discipline and Preparing for Adolescence. His books have been highly recommended, and everything that I have read by him makes sense. In Hide or Seek, his basic thesis is that the epidemic of inferiority is at the root of so many problems that young people face in our society, using Lee Harvey Oswald as an opening example. After discussing how failing to measure up to society's standards especially in the areas of beauty and intelligence can create feelings of inadequacy, he suggests ten strategies for helping parents to build self-esteem in their children.
I happen to have a copy of both the original Hide or Seek: Self-Esteem for the Child--A Compelling Approach for Parents and Teachers from 1974, and the Hide or Seek: How to Build Self-Esteem in Your Child, Expanded and Updated from 1979. The basic text in the two is the same. The only differences are that the revised edition has a new preface and also an epilogue that contains two further strategies. In that epilogue, Dobson does draw an important distinction between Biblical pride, which he defines as an arrogant self-sufficiency leading us to violate the two most basic commandment of Jesus about loving God and our neighbor, and true self-esteem which is self-respect or self-confidence, and even warns "that the quest for self-esteem can take us in the direction of unacceptable pride."
He concludes, "Hide or Seek does not reflect the philosophy of Me-ism. I have not suggested that children be taught arrogance and self-sufficiency or that they be lured into selfishness. (That will occur without any encouragement from parents.) My purpose has been to help mothers and fathers preserve an inner physical and mental and spiritual health." While Dobson clearly bases his suggestions on Biblical principles and even points out the benefits of following God's ways, which I appreciate, he does not come across as "too preachy," so that even those who are not strong believers should be able to find useful information in the book. Young parents will especially benefit from it, but I think that anyone will find it helpful in developing a proper positive attitude towards self. The newest edition, The New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in Your Child was published in 2001.

This is GREAT book for parents looking to approach discipline with a foundation of faith. I recommend it to all parents I know!

The book starts with a somewhat surprising beginning which grabbed my attention early. After that, the first couple of chapters talk about the importance of confidence and how it can be eroded over time. After Chapter 3, the book picks up and gives some interesting insight into building confidence. There were some religious references that I could do without. Other then that this book is a must read if you have children.

I bought this book because I am constantly searching for ways to be a better parent. The idea of building a strong sense of self-confidence in your child is a great idea... however, this book does not deliver with any strategies on HOW to do just that. It explains a lot of WHY's when it comes to low self esteem, theoretical underpinnings of psychology, and the author's view of gender and sexuality in their role of self-esteem. But, it just doesn't give any practical advice to the parent who wants to help their child gain assertiveness, build character, and create a positive self image. I do NOT recommend this book for those reasons.

Dobson is quite controversial in many of his beliefs, and I am okay with that. It's not about his beliefs here so much as it is me wanting to be a better parent. If you want to know what Dobson believes, then this book is for you, but if you want to really build confidence in your children, I do not reccomend it - and I don't say this lightly. I hate giving a bad review.

Okay, so I've ordered quite a few books via this method and I try to only get like new, or slightly under. This book was old, dirty, had crusty food (or other items) suck on it and even had a bug squished in the middle. It didn't quite live up to the description of its quality.