The New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex and Pleasure [Paperback]

Bernie Zilbergeld (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 1993

The New Male Sexuality addresses the most urgent questions of men today--and of the women who love them.  Bernie Zilbergeld reports findings from his twenty years as a psychologist specializing in human sexuality, as well as those other experts in the field, and shares his own and his clients' experiences.  the result is the most comprehensive guide ever to enhancing desire and arousal, focusing on pleasure rather than performance, and keeping sex exciting and fulfilling.

Clear, comprehensive, witty, and refreshingly realistic, The New Male Sexuality is destined to be a classic of the nineties and beyond.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This revision of the 1978 book Male Sexuality: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment ( LJ 2/15/78) is comprised of four sections: Introduction, Sexual Reality, Better Sex, and Resolving Problems. The latter two comprise the bulk of the book. Unfortunately, there is inadequate treatment of homosexuality, sexually transmitted diseases (AIDS receives short shrift), and the effects of aging and physical disability on male sexuality. The chapters on the mechanics of the male physical equipment and on how to handle erection problems are very good. Still, better coverage of this topic appears in Richard Sparks's Male Sexual Health: A Couple's Guide (Consumer Reports, 1991) and Irwin Goldstein and Larry Rothstein's The Potent Male: Fact, Fiction, Future ( LJ 6/1/90). Libraries owning either may pass. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 3/1/92.
- Del Cain, V.A. Medical Ctr. Lib., Bedford, Mass.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

The old performance model is out, replaced by a new model of sex that emphasizes ``pleasure, closeness, and self- and partner- enhancement''--or so says Oakland therapist Zilbergeld (The Shrinking of America, 1983, etc.). Pleasure takes practice, for doing what comes naturally is no guarantee of good sex, Zilbergeld counsels. Here, good sex is defined as feeling good about yourself, good about your partner, and good about what you're doing. As in Male Sexuality (1978), Zilbergeld includes many exercises--ranging from solo mental activities to practice sessions requiring a willing partner--that he's used regularly in his practice. In addition, he provides suggested scripts that give examples of how to talk to your partner. Zilbergeld examines the fantasy model of sex with some hilarious excerpts from bestselling novels by Harold Robbins, Erica Jong, and others before focusing on the real thing with black-and-white anatomical drawings and charts depicting male and female sexual response. With the basics out of the way, he moves on to his main concern: how to have better sex. The focus is on relationships and communication--becoming a good listener, asserting yourself, expressing yourself, etc. Specific sexual problems are considered, and exercises designed to resolve them are provided. Zilbergeld acknowledges that self-help may not be enough and directs difficult cases to a sex therapist. And lest the next generation have the same hang-ups as the present one, he includes a chapter of advice for fathers on talking to their sons about sex. Takes on tough problems and answers difficult-to-ask questions: comprehensive, forthright, and reassuring. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 656 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (May 1, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553562592
• ISBN-13: 978-0553562590
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.2 x 1.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,118,456 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I highly recommend this book to both men & women., September 16, 1999

By 

Jeri Marlowe M.A. MFCC([e-mail]) (San Francisco, Ca) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition (Paperback)

Just when I thought MALE SEXUALITY could not get better, it did! This revised edition is a must have for both men and women who want to both learn more about their sexuality and enhance it. Bernie writes clearly, factually, compassionately, and without judgement. His book informs, gives permission, and is helpful in understanding what happens when things are not the way you'd like, sexually. He provides excersises that support insight, and information that allows growth. This book is a standard, and should be in anyone's library who is at all curious about their own sexuality and their sexual relationship. I recommend this book for both men and women. It promotes conversation and learning between partners, and provides accurate information.

38 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally...!, February 8, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition (Paperback)

Finally, a book that speaks with reasonableness and straightforwardness to men and women! This book offers suggestions and tools, in an insightful and respectful manner, for women and men to enhance not just their sexual lives but also their relationships with one another. I had lost faith in men's ability to think beyond the mechanics. Thank you for pursuing quality and not just quantity!

46 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Great on what he knows; weak on what he thinks, August 10, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition (Paperback)

This is a great book as long as the author stays in his field and deals with what he knows. It gets shaky when he strays into sociology and history where his knowledge is too superficial and obviously influenced by the spirit of the age. He depicts men as being sad, hollow creatures unable to connect with others in meaningful relationships and striving anxiously to perform up to others' expectations. He then spends most of the rest of the book telling us how to perform so we can live up to women's expectations and thereby enter in meaningful face-to-face as opposed to empty side-by-side relationships. It never seems to occur to him that men (and perhaps many women) may not want the degree of control and lack of privacy inherent in face-to-face relationships. Perhaps men are satisfied with a much lower level of intimacy. Like most psychiatric professionals, the author appears to think that the generally unhappy people he meets in his practice are representative. He seems to have unconsciously adopted the patriarchal and now feminist attitude that everything that goes wrong for men is their own fault. All the problems in male/female relationships are male in origin. Men have to change (perform?). While finding this all-too-familiar litany distressing, I found a great deal of useful information in this book about what the author clearly does know about: male sexuality. He seems to understand how and why we are the way we are sexually. The practical suggestions on how to solve functional problems could be very helpful.