Customer Reviews

The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth

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My husband and I loved this book! It gave us a whole new way of looking at our marriage and some really constructive advice for further strengthening our relationship. A lot of the personal anecdotes and examples really struck a resonant chord. Also, after reading this, we find we've done a lot more self-exploration to see how we can leave behind the blame and bring the very best in ourselves to our relationship. We recommend this book to ANY couple (including happily married ones!) who are interested in building a stronger relationship.

The New Marriage begins with the observation that between 50 and 60 percent of marriages in our society end in divorce. No telling how many more lead to violence, frustration, betrayal. or simple resignation. It goes on from this point to present an affirmation of the rewards available to couples who are willing to make an insightful commitment to each other and to their relationship. It then walks the reader - patiently, lovingly and revealingly - through the expectations and realities that follow the Happily-Ever-After Myth.

Dr's Miles bring a unique perspective to the area of relationship counseling - they are married therepists (Ph.D.s in counseling and psychiatry)whose work reflects the living of a transformational relationship. Their observations ring true to anyone who has experienced an unsuccessful relationship, or who has learned (or is learning) how to make a relationship grow and survive.

The authors communicate in a jargon-free, reader friendly style that makes the book easily accesable to all readers; but also with insightful observations that make it attractive to professionals in the field as a counseling tool. They make it clear that the journey from the Mountain of Innocence through the Valley of Disappointment to the Mountain of Transformation is not easy, but it is accessable to those who are commited to their relationships and are willing to develop the self-knowledge to be mature, accepting partners. They also offer valuable insights to readers who need to unload the psychological baggage they carry that may be preventing them from building strong, mature relationships.

Since finding this book, I have shared it with several couples in the early stages of their relationships, as well as soon others who are well on their way.

In The New Marriage: Transcending The Happily-Ever-After Myth, professional therapists and marriage counselors Linda and Robert Miles competently collaborate to provide couples in both traditional and non-traditional relations a kind of road map and a set of practical relationship tools to effectively make their relationship work by identifying and overcoming emotional problems and deal with the stresses of contemporary life afflicting all marital unions today. Innovative, practical, "user friendly", insightful, informative, and occasionally inspiring, The New Marriage is very highly recommended reading for anyone needing assistance in helping to rebuild or strengthen his or her relationship.

My relationship was falling apart! A complete mess! A friend told me about this book and I thought it would be just like all the others. I was wrong! IT WAS THE ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS! It saved my relationship and saved my life. I truely thought my life was over until this masterpiece fell into my hands. My life has meaning and a purpose and I owe it all to "The New Marriage". I am so thankful. This is the best book I have ever read! Thank You!

The authors use the metaphor of two mountains to set forth an approach to building stronger more authentic relationships. They used amazing insight comparing our contemporary lifestyle and culture with the expectations of marriage in the American culture of fifty to seventy-five years ago.

The authors skillfully used case examples to demonstrate the pitfalls a newly married couple face as they enter the marriage relationship. A combination of down-to-earth advice and supportive illustrations move the reader to work toward a loving commitment and an exclusive relationship.

The author's provide the reader with a series of "transformation exercises". These include questions that are pointed, and thought provoking. Working through these questions help each individual of the partnership to discover self and move on to the "conditions of change" suggested by the authors. These exercises are therapeutic and enable the reader to integrate into self acceptance through self examination.

The reader is guided through steps of turning set backs into new learning. As I took an inward look at myself, I recognized my insecurities, and unresolved identity issues. I was then able to establish a plan of action to take steps toward resolution of these issues.

The poems from William Blake, Shakespeare, and other classic writers established a softer tone to the heavier issues introduced in the text of each chapter.

The book is thoroughly researched and documented. An extensive bibliography and a comprehensive index are provided which become excellent tools for frequent future reference.

This is a book that can be used by guidance counselors, and professional therapists. It is a book I can highly recommend for every engaged or married couple who want to "sustain a transcendent union", to those who want to build and strengthen the marriage experience.

We picked this book up after reading about it in Publisher's Weekly and what a gem! This book is a perfect blend of the practical and the spiritual for getting a marriage back on track. Even solid marriages can benefit. Lots of real-life examples and inspiring passages. A must-read for anyone interested in solidifing their matrimonial bonds.

This should be a mandatory read for anyone who is purchasing a marriage license. I am recently remarried after living through a challenging first marrige and divorce. I learned the hard way, this book could have saved me from false expectations I bought into about marriage and love. This book is a realtity check on what marriage is and what it can be living in the real world. It forces you to take a look at who you are and what it takes to make a relationship work. I loved this book because it was easy to read and had real life examples of people who struggled in their relationships and learned from their mistakes. This gives you the guts of what it takes to have a happy marriage. It shatters the fairy tale of what we grew up with so you can live the reality tale of a healthy and happy union between two people. It continues to help me as a tune up in my second marriage, a great book to have on your night table!