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Nice Girls Can Finish First: Getting the Results You Want and the Respect You Deserve . . . While Still Being Liked Paperback – February 11, 2009


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 221 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (February 11, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071609075
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071609074
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #516,418 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

“First as a therapist and later as an executive coach, I've worked with a lot of 'nice girls.' Most were trying to find ways to succeed while staying true to themselves. I would have loved to give each and every one of them a copy of this book!”
~~Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., author of The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work

“Women who live their lives as doormats fear that they will be viewed as a BITCH if they learn how to say 'no' and set boundaries with others. So they keep their heads low and allow others to trample all over them. But with this book these women can finally learn how to effectively take charge of their lives and finish on top, while keeping their dignity in tact. Thanks Daylle for an awesome and inspiring read!”
~~Debra Mandel, Ph.D.: psychologist and author of several books including, Don't Call Me a Drama Queen!

The nice girl's guide to getting ahead-without getting mean

Are you a “People Pleaser”? Do you put up with put-downs? Say yes when you're dying to say no? Sit down when you should be standing up for yourself?

Congratulations, you're a nice girl. Nothing wrong with that-unless your need to be liked is holding you back from having the career, money, love, respect, and happiness you deserve. This step-by-step guide from a self-described former “doormat” shows you that you don't have to be a demanding diva or mean girl to get what you want. There's a “nice” way to be assertive-in business and in life. Once you learn the secret, you can:

  • Speak up-without shouting
  • Say no-without sounding negative
  • Be strong-without being aggressive
  • Get respect-without getting tough
  • Ask for anything you want-and get it!

Filled with subtle conversational techniques and people-friendly pointers you can put to work immediately, Nice Girls Can Finish First is the perfect go-to guide for women who know they deserve more out of life-but don't want to step on other people to get to the top. This book proves you can be strong, confident, powerful, successful-and nice too!

Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a well-known author, blogger, speaker, and self-empowerment counselor with a master's degree in psychology.

About the Author

Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a well-known author, blogger, speaker, and self-empowerment counselor with a master's degree in psychology.


More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer VINE VOICE on February 27, 2009
Format: Paperback
I like her ideas in general and the way some are re-framed in ways that can lead to positive change. For example, I liked the idea of thinking of exercise and diet as a way of taking control of your life. I never thought of weight loss as an aspect of an "I'm in charge" mindset, but I can see that being more effective than the usual self-defeating "I can/should/must", and most of the ideas here follow that same paradigm shift.

So why 3 stars? Some ideas aren't new such as saying "no" when you really want to say "no."

But I really had difficulty with her suggested comebacks for dealing with various situations such as problem personalities. The comebacks assume that the problem personality types are deliberately trying to annoy or are fully aware they're The Problem, and neither may be true. Most suggested comebacks came off - to me at least - as unnecessarily sarcastic, dismissive, insensitive, and for someone over 35, bordering on immature (and nothing like what I had in an assertiveness-training class). I wouldn't say these things myself, not because I'm some kind of doormat but because I don't see these as being helpful or a means to improving difficult relationships. (More like a fire-starter.) Twanging off a flippant "Thanks for the advice - I'll think about that the next time it comes up" to a know-it-all who might be intending to be helpful isn't exactly a bridge-builder to better communication and understanding.

Overall, there's a lot of good ideas here for a wide variety of situations and the way you view and respond to them. But I'd be careful about the verbal responses you craft when managing these situations. "How to Say It," "How to Be An Assertive - Not Aggressive - Woman," or "Your Perfect Right" might be good resources for that.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Priscilla Oppenheimer on October 18, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book helped me. I'm a nice person, a peace-maker, people-pleaser, collaborative sort. But I also have very high standards and like things done right. So, I can also be a judgmental, perfectionistic, argumentative sort which surprises people who are used to my doormat persona. I get irritated with people who don't care or who are lazy. I don't like working with people who "posture" and don't really know as much as they pretend to or who optimize all their actions for how they will look rather than for achieving quality. I've had to learn how to tone down my negative comments to get the job done right. This book helped me learn how to still be nice and be liked even when having to corral people into doing the right thing when their inclination might be to get away with doing the easiest thing instead. I'm a recovering doormat who learned from this book how to talk softly and carry a big stick. Thank you, Daylle Deanna Schwartz!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Observer on March 13, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book is a handbook for life. If you're one of those women, and who isn't, who make others more important than themselves, and feel "less than" for being such a people pleaser, this book is for you. The specific suggestions that Daylle gives for handling yourself in a variety of situations are priceless. I used some for handling my mom, who drives me crazy. She's slowly responding and understands more why we fight so much. Daylle regularly reminds us to smile when expressing dissatisfaction or asking for something. I've noticed a change in how others respond. And it feels better! If you don't want to believe that nice people always finish last, read this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Abeer on August 1, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
this book opedned my eyes on many aspects. before i buy this book, i expected what i have read. as it promised, it delivered good information about how to deal with people who we allow them to hurt us. being polite is mistaken idea. i liked the part of not being polite in this book and how it was explained. ladies you must read this beek. good information provided for worker women. but i disagree with the part claiming to supress anger.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful By AMAZON FAN on November 7, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have purchased 4 more copies for others who forgot the power and respect of "NO" we learned as a toddler. The world will stripp you down and leave you naked and cold. This book helps you to put your pants on 1 leg at a time like selfish people. I say selfish with respect because we have to save our selves first or we cant save anyone eles. So I guess it is like a survival guide for those who forgot self preservation techniques. Gotta go, its me time! These toes wont paint themselves.

ps. Nothing is a perfect fit so yes the responses must be adapted to you & your cultural preferences. Survival threw adaptation. (lol maintaining the evolution blog theme)
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