Chapter One: If You Can't Say Anything Nice
"You're not a woman. You're a disease!"
-Mike Connors, Where Love Has Gone (1964)
"I thought you were a woman--but you're nothing but a career."
-Sterling Hayden to Bette Davis, The Star (1952)
"You're like some fancy kind of disease. I had it once--now I'm immune."
-John Ireland to Joan Crawford, Queen Bee (1955)
"Floozy! Floozy! Floozy!"
-Carmen Miranda to Cobina Wright, Week-End in Havana (1941)
"Usually, one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature."
-John Gielgud, Arthur (1981)
"Look, if you think you're gonna get back in my panties, forget it. There's one asshole in there already."
-Kathleen Turner, Crimes of Passion (1984)
"Anne Schuyler's in the Blue Book. You're not even in the phone book."
-Edmund Breese, Platinum Blonde (1931)
"You, you're forty-two. There are many good minutes left for you."
-Milton Berle to Eleanor Parker, The Oscar (1960)
"You probably haven't had a good lay in years. Your legs have been together longer than the Lennon Sisters."
-Bette Midler, Stella (1990)
"You know something, Hank? You're 90% man and 10% rat!"
-Lana Turner, Love Has Many Faces (1965)
"The stork that brought you must have been a vulture."
-Ann Sheridan, Torrid Zone (1940)
"You have the touch of a love-starved cobra."
-Monty Woolley, The Man Who Came to Dinner (1941)
"As long as they've got sidewalks, you've got a job."
-Joan Blondell, Footlight Parade (1933)
"You're still a little shop girl from San Francisco. You should've stayed on the other side of the counter."
-Constance Bennett to Lana Turner, Madame X (1966)
"There are only two things I dislike about you--your face."
-Elizabeth Taylor to Kim Novak, The Mirror Crack'd (1980)
Chapter Two: Bette
Sister number one (Bette Davis): "For someone who just buried her husband this morning, you don't seem very upset."Sister number two (also Bette Davis): "Phony mourning makes me sick!"
-Bette Davis, Dead Ringer (1964)
"I detest cheap sentiment."
-Bette Davis, All About Eve (1