Customer Reviews

Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever

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I worked full-time in a demanding professional job for 26 years and packed on the weight. Work took 60 hours of my time each week....then there were all the demands on my time for the kids...and the house...and the rest of my family and friends. I always thought "If I didn't have to work, I'd be so thin. I'd work out all the time and really take care of myself".

Well guess what? I left my job and "retired". I felt a personal freedom I never had. One year into retirement, however, I was only 10 pounds lighter. Didn't even make a dent in my physique.

What happened? I filled all that extra time with volunteer work and trivial activities. I essentially substituted the time I spent on my job with time for other people. Never made the time to get myself in shape and on a wellness program.

I wasn't aware that I had done this until I read "Nice Finish Fat". The book was a wake-up call.

Now I put myself on my list of things to do each day and take much better care of myself. It's paying off big-time.

Someone once told me that when you are on an airplane, the safety instructions remind you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Then you can help others. This is what this book is all about.



Take care of yourself. First.

Am I a nice girl? I honestly don't see myself that way, but I had no trouble seeing myself in the descriptions in the book or in the various people profiled in the book. So I guess I am.

I am one of those people who try to do too much. I used to take care of myself better than I do now, but yes, even with trying not to, I tend to take a back seat.

Karen Koenig has written other books, and I've read all three of her books for laypeople. And each of them has been quite different from the others. This is not one of those situations where if you've read one book, you probably have everything the author has to say in hand. One of Karen Loenig's books does a great job of teaching the rules and principles of normal eating, and another is a workbook about the feelings that drive a lot of us to eat too much or eat emotionally.

This one is about the underlying belief that we always need to be the nice girl who puts everyone first, and who thinks that taking care of themselves is selfish. Karen Koenig talks about how we got where we are, and about why we need to put ourselves first at least some of the time.

Like I said, I saw myself, and I learned a lot from reading the book. It is an extremely readable book, and going back the second time, I've got things to think about and journal about, and because of how the book is organized that is going to be very easy to do.

If you've learned about normal eating, and you are at peace with food most of the time, but there are still those emotional eating episodes, try reading this book as a second viewpoint on the situation. If you know nothing about normal eating, you might find a unique entry into learning how and why you eat too much, too often, or when you are too upset.

This book is written very well and is also enjoyable to read. It's not your typical vacation reading but I read this while on vacation and I am glad I did.

I always knew I was a nice girl. I play by the rules and I do for everyone else. I didn't know that there was a link between being nice to others and neglecting myself, rewarding myself with food, or stuffing down the feelings with food. This book was enlightening and I saw myself in many of the women profiled.

If you are a woman who does it all but neglects herself this book is for you. If your niceness is keeping you from taking care of yourself then you need to read this book. Self care is not over rated and this book will help you take care of you. As a result you may develop a healthier relationship with food, I know it helped me.

I've been struggling with my weight and stresses from people demanding so much of my time. I'm clinically depressed, and since people would criticize me for taking my medication, I wouldn't take it, and instead self-medicated with food. In my mind, I thought, somehow, I was depressed because I didn't have the self control to be able to be thin. I tried to make it up by just helping everyone every waking minute of the day. For example: I would drive hours to pick up my friend from the airport, and not only not get reimbursed for gas, but be treated like it was my duty. I thought somehow that that was my price to pay to have friends. I would never take time for myself, because I felt I didn't deserve it. I had an all or nothing mentality.
With the help of Ms. Koenig's book, I realized that I am worth it. I started taking time for myself every day. I've learned to say no. I almost completely eliminated emotional eating, and I've begun to deal with my emotions without dulling them with food. I eat when I need to, and very rarely do I overdo. I've begun running. I would highly recommend this book for people dealing with similar issues, especially emotional eating.

I just finished reading "Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever" by colleague and coach, Karen Koenig. As a former emotional eating "nice girl", I really enjoyed and related to all the valuable ideas that Karen presented in her easy-to-read format. I especially liked her sense of humour and personal stories that were presented throughout. Karen wrote the book as though she was having a personal conversation with each and every reader. She directly addresses every "nice girl's" biggest concern - that not being a nice girl does not mean being mean to others - there is a lot of space in between. Her "Grab Your Thinking Cap" questions helps readers explore how the book relates to their own life and the "No More Nice Girl Manifesto" in each chapter lists concrete and practical tips for letting go of old and unhealthy habits.

Barbara Small, M.A., The No-Nonsense Coach, Speaker and Author.
If I Could Just Get Out of My Own Head: A No-Nonsense Guide to Communicating Effectively
What About Me, What Do I Want? Becoming Assertive
Blah, Blah, Blah...: Changing Your Negative Self-Talk

I just finished reading Nice Girls Finish fat - and I was so moved - I wrote to Karen Koenig to thank her for writing this book. Never have I written so much down while reading a book (well, except when I was working on my Master's !)

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. As such, I have read much always trying to find one more thing to once and for all fix me. This book is written in a direct style that I find VERY refreshing. Totally relates with my entire life! Baby boomers were brought up to be nice - and I know that we are getting fewer and farther between, so our struggles continue to grow. Do yourself a favor and get this book, read this book, take advantage of all that Karen is putting out there to help us.

Ms Koenig does it again in her new book! Just like looking for a solution in food to avoid feelings and emotions, so too the way out of disordered eating is not in food and dieting but rather in addressing what drives us to eat in the first place. Speaking up, establishing boundaries, expressing anger, self care, people pleasing, perfectionism...she brings home what we really need to be looking at. With that compassionate "rounded eye" of a skilled therapist, she encourages you to take a look at how we live our lives before we are standing in front of the refrigerator door, not knowing how we got there. A great read and an essential, honest examination we must all undergo.

Since women, at least those of us in the Western World, are socialized to be pleasers, Karen Koenig has written a wonderful book to help us save ourselves from ourselves. While the specific content of Ms. Koenig's book relates to weight management, it is applicable to all women who need a recovery program for being pleasers at their own peril. It is deceptively simple and chock full of stories to help readers see themselves in the lessons she teaches. She is a master clinician, and that comes through on every page.

Dr. Beth Erickson
author of MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR SISSIES

I have only just started this book, but I feel like I am finally getting life advice from someone who cares about me. Like a lot of women, I have been taught never to speak up, look pretty, stay out of the way, forget about yourself and take care of others. This is the first time that I am getting the 'ok' to look out for my best interests. A lot of Karen's advice gets condensed into key 1 or 2 sentences in each paragraph. I have found myself reading and rereading those sentences like they were godsend. This sounds silly, but I didn't know that I could avoid toxic parents and relatives. I thought I had to be the good daughter, even if it dug my self-esteem into the ground. I can't wait to read more of Karen's books.

While this book targets women, I find it it applies to anyone who is a chronic people-pleaser, regardless of gender or size, . There are many practical solutions and techniques to help the reader free herself from over-doing, over-scheduling and ultimately, eating problems. I often recommend this book to my patients.