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The Nice Girl's Guide to Talking Dirty: Ignite Your Sex Life with Naughty Whispers, Hot Desires, and Screams of Passion Paperback – July 12, 2011


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Frequently Bought Together

The Nice Girl's Guide to Talking Dirty: Ignite Your Sex Life with Naughty Whispers, Hot Desires, and Screams of Passion + 131 Dirty Talk Examples: Learn How To Talk Dirty with These Simple Phrases That Drive Your Lover Wild & Beg You For Sex Tonight + She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
Price for all three: $28.33

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Amorata Press (July 12, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9781569759387
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569759387
  • ASIN: 1569759383
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #110,100 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Ruth Neustifter holds a Ph.D. in family development and specializes in intimacy and sexuality. She is a university professor, relationship coach and respected sex educator.

She has taught workshops on relationships and sexuality in venues ranging from independent sexuality boutiques to university classrooms and international conferences in the United States, Canada, Mexico and Europe.

She is an exclusive product video-reviewer for Babeland.com and is producing a series of brief educational videos for Funwares.com, another major vendor of sexuality products. She is a “faculty member” at KinkAcademy.com and has blogged at ExploringIntimacy.com for over two year years. Recently she launched a second blog dedicated to talking dirty. Her Twitter following is under a year old and already has over 1,000 followers.

More About the Author

Our sexuality is the most intimate form of body language in our relationships with others, and with ourselves. Dr. Ruthie is dedicated to spreading sex-positive information, advocacy and community building to all adults. No matter where you live or the nature of your sexual experiences, Dr. Ruthie knows that you truly deserve pleasure and intimacy.

Dr. Ruth Neustifter is a recognized relationship expert specializing in sexual communication and education as well as recovery from intimate partner violence. She works with a diverse range of individuals and relationships, conducts original research, offers workshops, and is available for professional consultation.

University instructor, published author, respected presenter and dedicated activist, Ruth Neustifter holds a doctoral degree in Child & Family Development with specializations in Couples and Family Therapy and Qualitative Research.

She began her training, research and work in the areas of relationships, sexuality and recovery from intimate partner violence in 2000. During that time she has taught and presented in venues ranging from independent sexuality boutiques to university classrooms and international conferences. Her writing can be found throughout the internet and in publications including the Journal of Feminist Family Therapy and The Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.

Affectionately known by her clients and co-workers as Dr. Ruthie, she makes her home in the DC area with her partner and pets. She offers private appointments and professional consultation services internationally, with appointments in-person, by phone, and online.

Customer Reviews

It has great exercises to follow to build up your confidence and explore sensual language.
Lucid Obsession
Overall this book is entertaining and easy to read with personal narratives and examples of naughty words.
Sarah B
Every page left me inspired and pushed me to want to try out new things that Dr. Ruthie suggests.
Ruth

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Ruth on July 19, 2011
Format: Paperback
This is the first instructional relationship book I have read and I simply loved it. Not only did it reinforce the dirty talker within me, but it also allowed me to think about WHY I talk dirty the way I do as well as WHY it gets my man and me going. This book is not only about flirting, but rather about every aspect from which the practice of dirty, intimate talking derives. If a person is shy, then Dr Ruthie suggests approaches. If a person is insecure, she suggests other approaches. There are various issues at hand in this book that are clearly analyzed and improved upon.

The book flowed really well. The writing was gentle and yet detailed enough to educate the novices and the experts at the same time. Every page left me inspired and pushed me to want to try out new things that Dr. Ruthie suggests. This book is for every lady (and man) who wants her relationship and sex life to be as fulfilling as it can be. Her focus is on relationships and how communication is key- especially in the bedroom!

I adore this book. I have dog-eared pages and highlighted empowering quotes throughout it. I think I will start passing it out to some of my girlfriends- but not before I read it again!
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Elizabeth D. Thomas on November 10, 2011
Format: Paperback
I "met" Dr. Ruthie on Twitter and was immediately impressed with her online educational videos and knowledge. This is a fantastic book for so many reasons, but the book title does a great job trying to summarize that IF YOU ARE a GOOD GIRL, a "normal", not "overly sexed" woman, who perhaps finds some sex books a bit over the top or not quite where you're at, then this is the book for you.

This book could very well be a relationship saver. I'm not saying that for those extremely troubled relationships, but for the vast majority of relationships in America struggling with a busy life and not enough time together. I hope more couples heat up their cell phones and email inboxes with this book!

If you're a little nervous ordering this book that is a GREAT SIGN you are an ideal reader. I promise you won't be disappointed (nor will your significant other!)

Gift Ideas for this book:
Engagement or wedding
New mom
New empty nester mom
Your shy friend who wants more in the bedroom
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Japonski on August 24, 2011
Format: Paperback
As a nice girl who blushes at the thought of talking dirty, I approached the book with a tiny bit of trepidation. But Dr. Ruth's writing style and her emphasis on love, sex-positivity and FUN drew me in. I never thought that sexy talk could be original, creative, and personalized in the way that this book teaches.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By E-&-E.sMom on January 7, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was hoping to learn a new language but what I got instead was many reasons why its okay to talk dirty, why men like it, and why I should start talking dirty to my man. Ok…so I was already at that point before I purchased the book. I was thinking to myself how I would like to turn on my man by talking dirty to him but I just didn't know what to say. This book does give lots of suggestions based on what you like as a couple, how you should talk and it does give one on going dirty talk conversation example through out the book but I was looking for specifics, such as 101 dirty phrases, which to my knowledge has not been written yet. Only buy this book if you need convincing that you should talk dirty. Don't buy this book if you are looking for examples of dirty talk.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on July 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book is more than just a manual of what to say and how to say it, it's a guide helping you to become more active and verbal in our relationships. I was taught nice girls didn't talk about sex and it's always inhibited me in so many ways. The exercises and visualizations were so helpful. Dr. Ruthie's book was more like speaking with an amazing therapist than chick lit. It's already helped me verbalize what I want, instead of putting my pleasure completely in someone else's hands. I recommend it highly!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By R. Knight on August 14, 2011
Format: Paperback
Dr. Ruth Neustifter breaks dirty talk down into three steps: heighten desire with sensual descriptions; seduce with expressions of lust; explore fantasies with trust and openness. I agree with her that the importance of understanding our own unique sensual self cannot be under-rated. Our senses are how we receive and give pleasure, and our ability to own this part of ourself and express it has a direct impact on our sexual satisfaction. Once we know ourselves, then we can share ourself with our partner.

Ruth makes a great point that anyone can say "You're so hot. I want you." It is incredibly more seductive to personalize your dirty talk, specifying exactly what is so hot about your partner and exactly what you want. Yes, it may take practice to become fluent in this second language, but why not give it a try? As Ruth says, "when you seduce your lover, you can also seduce yourself at the same time."
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By J. Avory Faucette on August 7, 2011
Format: Paperback
The Nice Girl's Guide to Talking Dirty by Dr. Ruth Neustifter, out this month from Amorata Press, is a solid foundational guide for women looking to gain comfort around dirty talk and sexual expression. I would particularly recommend it for a sexually moderate-to-conservative, cisgender female audience, and especially women who are in a long-term relationship or marriage and looking to spice things up or get more comfortable communicating with a partner. Though queer couples are mentioned as examples, especially towards the middle of the book, I found the beginning hard to read from a queer perspective. This is a manual that provides a helpful alternative to the ladymags, giving solid advice but not pushing the envelope so far as to scare off a newbie to sexual material.

The book relies on a number of foundational exercises to help women find their dirty talking style, along with a plethora of examples taken from Dr. Neustifter's practice. The real meat of the book comes when readers are encouraged to find their personal style by choosing a wearable item to symbolize their sensuality and form the basis of their style of dirty talking. The burgeoning dirty talker need not be led any particular direction by this exercise--it is highly individualized, which is what makes it a good jumping off point for the rest of the exercises in the book. Whether the "nice girls" picking up this volume are drawn in the direction of shocking and nasty, sweet and sensual, or shy and boyish, this particular exercise allows the reader to find a comfortable starting place from which to explore dirty talk.
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