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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Being "nice" and results-driven are not mutually exclusive., July 31, 2008
This review is from: Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office: Eight Strategies for Winning in Business Without Being a Jerk (Hardcover)
Up front, I need to clarify three key points. First, as Edelman, Hiltabiddle, and Manz explain in their Introduction, the word "nice" includes many positive, desirable attributes and is not about being weak or soft. They make several distinctions between being "nice" and "too nice." Also, their use of the word "guy" is not meant to be gender specific. Virtually all of the information [and advice] in this book is directly relevant to both men and women in the business world. In fact, 46 percent of the people surveyed for this book were women." Finally, it soon became obvious to me that "corner office" is used as a symbol for career success and has little (if anything) to do with the physical location of an executive's office.
This book can be of substantial benefit to both an executive who has a "nice guy" among her or his direct reports, and, to any "nice guy" who is currently frustrated by her or his career success thus far. Most of the material was generated by the authors' interviews of 22 CEOs, founders, and thought leaders whose responses supplemented, challenged, and confirmed the authors' thinking. They and their affiliations are identified on Pages 7-9 and their input is quoted throughout the narrative to help clarify a key point. It should also be noted that the authors conducted more than 350 surveys and obtained a statistical assessment from these surveys. For example, one of the data points is that 61% of the participants believe they are "too nice" in business and that 50% of them indicated that their managers are "too nice."
Others will have their own reasons for praising this book. Here are three of mine.
Edelman, Hiltabiddle, and Manz make brilliant use of several reader-friendly devices while devoting a Separate chapter to each of eight strategies recommended for "winning in business without being a jerk." These devices include Stories, Motives and Symptoms, Inventory, Controls, and then a Summary of key points at the conclusion of each chapter. Readers will appreciate these devices (especially the Summaries) because they will facilitate, indeed expedite frequent reviews of the key points later.
I also appreciate the fact that the authors have drawn upon an abundance of real-world experiences (theirs as well as their interviewees') because their focus throughout the book is on what achieves the desired results, what doesn't, and why. Presumably the information and advice they provide will help at least some executives who are "too nice" to become somewhat more effective but, in my opinion, the same information and advice will be of much greater value to other executives who are "nice" and more likely to make appropriate changes in how they interact with others. On Page 3, Edelman, Hiltabiddle, and Manz contrast the Old definition of "nice" (i.e. "A conditioned, well-intentioned approach to relationships") and the New definition of "nice" (i.e. "A constructive and consciously chosen approach to relationships"). Whereas someone who is "too nice" is always trying to please others, someone who is "nice" but effective strives to balance assertiveness with cooperation to achieve a spirit of collaboration.
Note: This compressed but enlightening cluster of key points re how Old and New definitions differ should be re-read several times while proceeding from one chapter to the next.
My third reason is that Edelman, Hiltabiddle, and Manz clearly demonstrate what Roger Martin has characterized as an "opposable mind": "the predisposition and the capacity to hold two [or more] diametrically opposed ideas" in his head and then "without panicking or simply settling for one alternative or the other," was able to "produce a synthesis that is superior to either opposing idea." That is, they agree with Warren Bennis, Bill George, Daniel Goleman, and James O'Toole (and countless others) that an effective leader must be "authentic" (i.e. true to herself or himself), develop a high level of emotional intelligence, be guided by a moral compass, and have the courage to bounce back from adversity. (Jack Dempsey once suggested that "champions get up when they can't.") The authors also agree with Larry Bossidy, Ram Charan, Jim Collins, and Jack Welch that leaders must be results-driven. (Thomas Edison asserted that "vision without execution is hallucination.") They welcome, indeed encourage productive confrontation, seeking what the authors describe as "optimal outcomes for everyone involved by emphasizing truthfulness and authenticity...embracing the innovation-promoting benefits of constructive idea conflict."
This review is somewhat longer than I originally anticipated but I realized while composing it that if I effectively suggest what it offers could be, it will attract the interest of those who will derive the greatest value from what Edelman, Hiltabiddle, and Manz present with both rigor and eloquence.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Help, but not magic, for nice guys, February 26, 2009
Blame it on Leo Durocher. His line, "Nice guys finish last," was part of an interview with Red Barber in 1946. Durocher was explaining why his Dodgers would finish first in the National League that year while the Giants, a team full of "nice guys," would finish last.
Durocher even used the line for the title of his autobiography. It's become part of the folklore. Nice Guys can Get the Corner Office is intended to refute Durocher and all who quote him.
The title is not intended to mean that the book is for men only. The authors think you can succeed if you're a woman. Several times they tell you that they're using "guys" as a generic term. Many times they use the construction "guys and gals."
One key to understanding what's in this book is to read the last part of the subtitle. The authors say that you can succeed without acting like a jerk.
But you can't succeed if you're a pushover or if you're always trying to please others, or if you're always attempting to minimize disagreement and confrontation. In other words, being nice is OK, but being "too nice" is a recipe for poor performance and personal discomfort.
"Nice Guy Syndrome" is their name for being too selfless at work. The authors surveyed 350 nice guys to find out how they felt about themselves and their performance. They also interviewed 25 top executives to get their perspectives.
Using what they learned, the authors developed a "Nice Guy's Bill of Rights." The eight strategies they advocate are also eight chapters that make up the core of the book. Here they are.
Know your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn to Express Your Opinions and Be Heard
Set Boundaries and Respect Them
Address Issues Directly and without Fear
Make Choices without Guilt
Learn to Hold Others and Yourself Accountable
Reach Beyond Your Comfort Zone
Compete and Succeed
That core is the strength of the book. Each strategy is described using stories drawn from the real working world. That makes it easy to understand.
But you'll find that it's not always easy to do. Like too many business books, this one leaves you with the impression that you can do all this by Tuesday. In reality you're facing months of effort and feedback to achieve significant behavioral change.
Here's one example. The fourth strategy says to address issues directly without fear. I've coached enough people on this to know that the fear will probably always be there. It might be more realistic to suggest that a nice guy address issues directly even when it's scary. Then suggest some strategies for dealing with the fear.
The fact is that if you exit your mid-twenties being afraid to confront others, that probably isn't going to change. We can teach you to feel the fear and do it anyway. We can teach you techniques to communicate with others about performance or behavior, as I do in my programs and my book, Performance Talk. We just can't make the fear go away.
Some years ago I did research on the transition from individual contributor to manager or supervisor. I found that the process took far longer than most people think, between twelve and twenty-four months.
I also found that most people who became successful managers and supervisors went through three stages. One was what I called "The Boss Phase." The new supervisor acted like an autocrat, giving orders left and right. I named another phase, "The Buddy Phase."
In the Buddy Phase, new supervisors strive to be liked by everyone who works for them and with them. They are the "overly nice guys" that the authors of this book describe.
Supervisors who made a successful transition also went through a third phase. I called it "Balance." That's where the new supervisor mastered the arts of being nice without being a pushover and being firm without being nasty.
Supervisors who didn't make a successful transitions wound up stuck in one of the other two stages. The ones who stayed in "Boss" turned into jerks. The ones who stayed in "Buddy" turned into the nice guys who can now find help in this book.
This is the only book I know of that deals with this subject effectively. If you feel that you're a nice guy or gal and it's keeping you from the success you want, you should read this book. Just don't expect magic.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Great Read!, September 5, 2008
This review is from: Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office: Eight Strategies for Winning in Business Without Being a Jerk (Hardcover)
The strategies offered in this book are very insightful. The fact that the strategies are backed by an incredible amount of research with real-life, successful, nice guys makes it all the more compelling. As an 18 year entrepreneur, I recongnized many of the things that I wished I had known about myself and my coworkers long ago. A fantastic read!
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