Customer Reviews

Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex

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In my chosen field of Architecture we use what exists to create new facilities. In this book, noted Sexual Expert Nina Hartley does a similar construct in a loving funny and first person way. All of us have sexual portions of our bodies, want to have sex and most of us with another person. As Nina explains "It feels good, It is good for you, It helps your interaction with the opposite sex who you wish to create a bond".

This book is a much better education tool than anything even going back to the "Joy of Sex" from the 70s. Why?

First, Nina constantly uses her own experience as a sexual person with both men and women, she is bi,to describe what feels good and what may not feel so good.

Second, Nina explains the physical espects of how to be sexual first with yourself and then with a partner. Self loving it is called, and all of us need to love ourselves before we love others, she explains. During all of the chapters in the book her physical explanations, she does not need any diagrams or pictures, she allows the reader to feel that he or she is in an encounter. Nina uses a very easily understood method to illustrate, "Near hand and far hand".

Third, Nina both touches on sexual practices that not everyone will use but all of us have an interest in hearing about. We may not want to use Anal Sex or jSwinging, but at least we need to know what happens, why and how it is performed and how one does meet others of a similar persuasion.

Fourth, Nina explains as no one ever has, that mens and womens sexual anatomy, developed during pregnancy are the same to begin with. We all were girls first and then during pregnancy developed fully into male and female persons. I will not spoil that she says, but the portions of chapters dealing with this issue alone make this book worth buying.

Fifth, and most important. Both men and women have a most important sex organ, their brains. Nina in each phase explains the cultural reasons, the mental reasons and the psycological reasons why we both want to engage in sex and why we at the same time fear sex. Nina allows us all to make decisions about each of us are comrtable with. As she explains some of us do not like to engage in certain practices. That is fine she says, but she also says, talk it out. Only then can we agree on what we want to provide for each other and ourselves, sexually. Nina, thus allowsus to loose our fear about sex.

Every man and every women should buy a copy as part of their sexual and marital preparations. Better yet, after buying they should read this book to each other.

Nina who has a bent for humor, especially in the titles, makes this book easy to read, non scarey and a wonderful practical tool to help every person understand not only how to have sex but also why we want to.

Margaret Cho isn't kidding. This really might be the best book about sex, ever. The book discusses techniques, sexual ethics, and attitude: sex as a whole. It's warm, well-written, intelligent, informative. Above all, although it is frank and completely straightforward, it is written with an awareness of the fact that not everybody... well, almost nobody... is completely secure about sex. It neither condescends nor intimidates; it accepts our foibles and anxieties while gently but firmly showing us that there's a better way.

I can't imagine anyone, from a veteran swinger to a virgin, who wouldn't get something of value from it, with just a modicum of openmindedness.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to accomplish the following:

1. Improve his or her sexlife.

2. Look at sex from a different perspective other than what has been traditionally taught

3. Find new ways to overlook common mistakes we all make in our private lives.

4. Find the inspiration to be a little more adventurous behind closed doors.

I find the psychology of sex very interesting in the United States. Here, we all try to keep it hush hush, even pass the occassional law against it, but everyone seems to be doing it and everyone seems to want more of it and a better way to do it.

This book is an excellent beginning in breaking out of that old mold and moving on with our personal lives. We owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our significant others to be the best we can be and to have an ever open mind. This book is a step in that direction.

James

Nina Hartley 's "Guide to Total Sex" may make you blush with her naked honesty and hot sexy tips like how to give yourself the most amazing "abs" and it doesn't involve the gym but ulimately she encourages self acceptance, compassion, love and self awareness; also understanding "outside factors" that can create road blocks to being true to yourself and your desires.

An excerpt from her last paragraph of her book with co-writer I.S. Levine sums up the spirituality, sexual awarenss and self empowerment. Nina Hartley writes, "I invite each and every one of you to join me on my journey of exploration, to go forward in your search for your authentic sexuality without fear. The best, most relevant book you will ever read on the subject is the one you write yourself, the inner diary of your own experience as a sexual human being...." Nina has exceptional sex tips and a heart to match....Heart on 5 stars recommendation!

She suggests you skip the chapters that are not your thing but believe me the book has a wide range of categories, knowledge shared and wisdom. There is something for everybody

.

Yes, you blush but you get a raise --- in sexual IQ points!

This book is definately not for just people who are beginners, it's for the pros too! Lots of very useful information on all sorts of adult topics. The writing is interesting while at the same time very informative. Since Nina is a nurse, she follows hygiene and safety very thoroughly. Not offensive, gawdy or overdone. It's definately not boring! Very to the point with LOTS of handy hints and helpful info. Covers every topic you want to know about but don't usually ask. Would totally recommend this to any adult looking to become more sexually aware. Very good!!! Worth your money and the time it takes to read...great for couples!

Nina Hartley's book is a must read for everyone as it clearly explains Sexuality from an Anatomical and Physiological perspective, as well as being an experiential guide based upon her 20+ years as an Adult Movie Star.

I came to it as someone who, although knowing "what goes where" had little knowledge of Sexuality and its many facets, and found it opened my mind to a world I had never dreamt existed, a world of magical pleasure awaiting committed couples [not necessarily married] who take the time to learn from and teach each other how they respond to Sexual Intimacy and are willing to explore other Sexual facets which they previously avoided.

Especially interesting was the chapter on Anal Sex as I like many I imagine thought this was a somewhat "dirty" (hygenically) practice, and was pleasantly surprised that much enjoyment can be derived using proper techniques.

The chapter on Swinging (aka Lifestyles) was excellent as an expose of a world that many of us have never seen, as Nina explained the perception upon the advent of Aids some 20 years ago that this lifestyle choice would both literally and figuratively die, whereas it has actually thrived due to Safe Sex practices and keeping one's Sexual explorations within the Swinger/Lifestyle group.

In summary, this book should be read by every Teenager before they begin to explore their Sexuality - and would make an excellent Engagement/Wedding present - what greater gift can you give than a lifetime of love and pleasure???

Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex is an exhilarating read that lives up to its name. Just listen to the author's definition of the term, "When I talk about total sex, I don't just mean totally hot sex or totally rockin' sex, though these are certainly desirable goals in themselves. I mean sex that involves us totally, encompassing all the biological and emotional forces at work inside that remarkably sensitive envelope through which we feel the physical world." Beautiful and joyful. Nina's voice glides seamlessly from four letter words to four syllable ones. She covers the topic with no holes barred. This is writing that is assured and confident and worthy of its subject. Hers is a voice we can trust. I'm pleased to say that I am a friend of Nina's, but despite my familiarity with her, I am still blown away. And despite my own vast sexual experience, I'm turned on by this read. Nina Hartley did herself and the world a great service in writing this book. Now do yourself a great big favor and buy it.

Having been a fan and worshipper of Nina Hartley for quite a long time, due as much to her intellegence, her activism for sexual pleasure and her sex-positive progressive politics as for her blazing sexual performances and her beyond-worldly beauty, I was full of anticipation and expectations when she first revealed the initial conception of this book.

I am so proud to say that the results more than exceed even my wildest expectations. This "Guide to Total Sex" is simply the distillation of Hartley's many years of experience as a professional sex worker/entertainer/performer, as well as a lecturer, educator, and clinician on the basic fundamentals of sex, mutual sexual pleasure, and sexual experimentation. And yet, Nina presents it in a manner that gives the reader nothing but the maximum of respect, without even a trace of the usual condensension found in far too many other "how to" manuals.

With her usual display of humor, passion, and keen attention to detail, Nina manages in every chapter to break down the essentials; from the fundamentals of the "plumbing", to the basic physical tacticals for most of the common sex acts and functions (from initial foreplay to final orgasm(s) and every juicy detail in between); to the introduction to implimenting sex toys into the play experience; to confronting the psychological and emotional barriers and issues to expanding and defining your sexual boundaries; to the introductions to swinging and dominance/submission/BDSM sex....everything is laid out and explained in a easy to follow, easy to understand, and easy to read format. And unlike most sex manuals, Nina doesn't distract you with too much of the usual "shock your friends" close up XXX shots, either; she lets her words and her experiences speak for themselves.

My only slight personal beef with the book is that it could have used a bit more on the political and cultural philosophy of sex, and perhaps a further elaboration about how to encourage more sex-positive attitudes in a still pretty much sexually conservative culture. But that probably would have interfered with the main objective of what Nina was trying to do, which is to offer sexual neophytes an opening to discover their sexual selves.

On the whole, though, "Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex" is far and away THE best introduction to the joys and pleasures of safe consensual sex EVER written this side of "The Joy of Sex".....and certainly one of the most progressive in both its approach and its delivery of the basic concept that "Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you." It may be mostly for het couples and young people, but anyone, regardless of their sexual taste, orientation, or skill, with a working brain cell and at least a sense of compassion and thirst for knowledge will totally benefit from this book.

A magnificant sexy book from a magnificent sexy woman...indeed.

Anthony J. Kennerson

Lafayette, LA

[...]

A friend of mine recommended Nina's book and I thought what the hell I'll give it a try. I had never seen her movies but I figured that a porn star with Nina's experience and background could definately teach me and my husband a thing or two.

I am impressed! It was comical, honest and had a plethora of ideas to help you jump start your sex life. My husband tried some of Nina's suggestions and she definately knows her stuff. This book is a must have for everyone who wants to pleasure their partner.

Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex is a MUST READ, it's funny, frank and totally sexy, The book is brimming with great advise from a true expert, her experience as a medical professional and as an adult actress come shining through on every page.

Bottom Line, this is a great book written by a class act. Thank you Nina, much appreciated!