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Nina Here Nor There: My Journey Beyond Gender [Paperback]

Nick Krieger
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 10, 2011
Honor Book for the 2012 Stonewall Book Awards in non-fiction 

The next-generation Stone Butch Blues--a contemporary memoir of gender awakening and a classic tale of first love and self-discovery.

Ambitious, sporty, feminine “capital-L lesbians” had been Nina Krieger’s type, for friends that is.  She hadn’t dated in seven years, a period of non-stop traveling—searching for what, or avoiding what, she didn’t know. When she lands in San Francisco’s Castro neighborhood, her roommates introduce her to a whole new world, full of people who identify as queer, who modify their bodies and blur the line between woman and man, who defy everything Nina thought she knew about gender and identity. Despite herself, Nina is drawn to the people she once considered freaks, and before long, she is forging a path that is neither man nor woman, here nor there. This candid and humorous memoir of gender awakening brings readers into the world of the next generation of transgender warriors and tells a classic tale of first love and self-discovery. 


Discussion Guide for Book Clubs, Classrooms, and Group Discussions

What did you know about transgender people before reading this book? How has your perspective changed?

Did reading this book make you think about your own body, gender, and identity? In what ways? 

How do you feel about the way Nina treats her parents? How about the way they treat her? How would you react if your child was transgender?

What role does Ramona play in Nina’s journey?

How do you envision gender—a binary, spectrum, galaxy…?

What are some of the benefits to our culture of gender? Some of the downfalls? How does the binary (man/woman) system help you? Hurt you?

How do you relate to Nina’s experience? In what ways is her story universal? Specific?

In what parts of your life do you feel you are “privileged”? Have your privileges changed over time? Has this impacted your worldview?

How is this book similar to other memoirs about gender? How is it unique?

How does the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder and its classification as a mental illness affect trans people?

What do you see as the main challenges for trans people in our society? Are these covered in the book, or are these from other sources and experiences?

What did you learn through The Boys? How are their gender expressions and decisions similar? Different? 

Where do lesbian and transmasculine (trans people on the male side of the spectrum like The Boys) communities overlap? Where is there friction?

What defines “women’s spaces” and in what cases, instances, or places should transmasculine people be included? Excluded?

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“…[B]eautifully written…Accessible and full of humor, there’s no question that in the growing canon of first person transgender narratives, this is already a classic.”—Curve Magazine

“I found Nick Kreiger’s memoir to be non-threatening and honest. It was candid and answered many questions I didn’t even know to ask.”—Transforming Love 

“Nick's story is refreshing because he doesn't abide by the 'heterosexual man trapped in a woman's body' narrative that we're so used to hearing in the news. It's more nuanced and…feels so much more real and personal.”—Queering the Campus

"As Kreiger explores the gender spectrum, we do too. At the same time he’s seeing the blurred lines of woman and not-woman, we see it as well. The journey is a good one, shared…The book is a captivating fresh take on the fluidity of gender to which many LGBTs will relate.”—Washington Blade

"Nina Here Nor There (and how clever a title is that?) is…a very well-written, important book…Nina Here Nor There works on several levels—as a guide for people who want to transition; as a conversation-starter for those interested in gender issues; as a heartfelt memoir; and as a fun, fly-on-the-wall look at San Francisco's diverse LGBT scene.”—GO Magazine

“Nick Krieger's Nina Here Nor There: My Journey Beyond Gender is a passionate and honest memoir. Krieger recounts his personal search for identity and gender with humor and emotional honesty, making this one of the year's most moving books.”—Largehearted Boy

“His experience as a travel writer brings cultural details into sharp focus, and weighs individual meanings…a well written travel guide to Nick’s corner of the world.”— OUTview Online

“The memoir is a journey that grabs your heart and stretches your brain into new ways of thinking.”—The Windy City Times 

“A new and welcome voice in transgender memoir.”—Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw

“A personal, insightful, and nuanced discussion of the life experiences and tough decisions that inform transgender identities. The language is precise, the thinking is complex, and the self-questioning is funny and honest. This is a profound and moving book, and its existence makes me happy.”—Stephen Beachy, author of Distortion
 
“It’s a rare memoir that can tell a story that seems brand new, but Nina Here Nor There does it. This one-of-a-kind narrator undertakes a quest that is unmistakably timely. But in its yearning for awareness and connection, this book feels timeless.”—K. M. Soehnlein, author of Robin and Ruby
 
“With inimitable charm . . . Nina Here Nor There depicts the trans experience in a way that anyone can identify with, and everyone will enjoy.”—Thea Hillman, author of Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word)

"A beautifully rendered and personal account that feels like a fresh addition to trans literature."—Publishers Weekly

“[A] humorous, moving, and engagingly authentic journey.”—Whitney Scott, Booklist

“Reading Nina Here Nor There is like taking a tour through San Francisco’s transmale culture by the most charming guide you could hope for…an important contribution to the body of literature about contemporary queer culture and lives. Nina Here Nor There is a book queers across the gender and sexuality spectrum should read. An insightful, accessible, and witty page-turner, Nina Here Nor There is the transgender narrative we’ve been waiting for.”—Lambda Literary

“In our media context, where only one kind of narrative about transition seems to be allowed, this alternate personal story can feel pretty revolutionary…He writes incredibly perceptively about issues like gender and class, approaching them through storytelling and subtle personal exploration instead of explaining through standard social justice language…Nina Here Nor There offers an honest, personal take on many aspects of identity...”—Feministing 

"[Nina Here Nor There is] an edifying, passionate memoir …the uninitiated and the curious will find these pages brimming with an enlightening, first-person experience that is both intriguing and educating…What emerges is a powerful and moving portrait of one man's quest for happiness in finding the truest sense of himself. Krieger has produced an intimate memoir about how vital physical changes can beautify every aspect of life, inside and out.”—The Bay Area Reporter 

“In a twist on the traditional transgender narrative, Nick identifies as neither male nor female and invites readers to view gender not as a binary or a spectrum but as an infinitely beautiful ‘kaleidoscope.’ Narrated with verve, charm, and humor, Krieger’s memoir doesn’t hold back on self-examination and emotional honesty, and will likely upend some of your preconceptions.”—Bust Magazine

About the Author

A native of New York, Nick Krieger realized at the age of twenty-one that he’d been born on the wrong coast, a malady he corrected by transitioning to San Francisco. His writing has earned several travel-writing awards and has been published in multiple travel guides. 

Product Details

  • Paperback: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Beacon Press (May 10, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0807000922
  • ISBN-13: 978-0807000922
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #533,326 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

A native of New York, Nick Krieger realized at the age of twenty-one that he'd been born on the wrong coast, a malady he corrected by transitioning to San Francisco. His writing has earned several travel-writing awards and has been published in multiple travel guides. He aspires to be a stay-at-home dad (with or without kids), and spends his time practicing yoga, eating cereal, and queering all that he can. He holds an MFA from the University of San Francisco.

Customer Reviews

Nick Krieger does exactly this and tells his story with honesty and plenty of humor. Melissa  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
Nick reminds us that truly knowing oneself is an ongoing journey for everyone. Andrea Oettinger  |  4 reviewers made a similar statement
This book had me so hooked I read it all in one sitting. Emily White  |  4 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Human Story May 29, 2011
Format:Paperback
By the time they reach the reader's hands, memoirs from the edge of society--and really, what memoir isn't from the edge of society when it comes down to it--have already been so marginalized so many times over, have lived entire lives in the shadows, that they can run the risk of preachiness, of self-righteousness, of over-defensive (and don't mind the pun here) cockiness. But "Nina Here Nor There" is not so much a memoir as it is therapy in words, words beautifully crafted and honed with so much love, and Nick Krieger is not so much a preacher as he is a comrade-in-arms. With equal parts wit and tenderness, Krieger writes to make sense of this world he finds himself in, a world of packers and binders and drains (oh my), a world that exists underneath a white Hanes t-shirt. He holds nothing back, and he is a narrator so completely genuine and lovable that you will laugh when he laughs when neither of you should be laughing at all. Page after page-turning page, you're in this with Krieger: you learn with him, you cry with him, you get your heart broken by lovers and family alike.

Yes, this book gives voice to a trans community, but that's nearly besides the point. This book gives voice to Nick Krieger, an outsider even in his outsider world, and his story is singular yet unassuming. This is what makes "Nina Here Nor There" so special. Krieger is as curious as he is insightful, and he understands that there is no one story, not for the transgender community, not for any community. Yet it is a rare story that is told this well. At the heart of it, there is love, identity, and family (both chosen and given), and it does not matter where one falls on the gender spectrum: this is a journey beyond gender. As a straight cis male, this reader was as captivated as any reader because, as Krieger writes, "man, woman, or other--none of us [are] the same people we once were." This is a human story, plain and simple, and a great human story at that.

Buy this book, read this book. You will not put it down until you reach the end.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is a wonderful window into the mind of an "in between" transgender person.
As an activist ally in the transgender community, I have discussed the "gender continuum" many times during educational presentations. While realizing academically that the majority of us are not at either end of the male - female continuum, I have not fully understood the complexity of those whose transitional "end point" is somewhere in the middle. "Nina Here Nor There" provides a great deal more awareness and understanding of this position and those who occupy it.
There have been a great many transition memoirs written and published. Most imply that the only "real" trans person wants to change completely from the persona they were assigned at birth to the persona they feel they are. Some leave room for others to feel differently, and a few express themselves as being neither - nor.
Nina Here Nor There does this very well. Nick Krieger welcomes the reader into his most private thoughts and actions during several years of his life. He takes us along as he moves along the continuum from a not-quite-comfortable butch lesbian who hates her breasts toward a not-quite-male guy without them. He tells his story honestly and with good humor as he questions everything he has experienced and observed in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco during this period in his life.
This story brings to mind a different definition of transgender than most people are accustomed to. To me, the prefix "trans" can also mean past or beyond; with this interpretation, "transgender" can also mean "beyond gender" as we know it.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Other than being a bit of a "tomboy" who preferred athletics and outdoor activities to most traditional female interests, thirty year old Nina had never really questioned her birth gender, until she moved into an all-lesbian household in the Castro. It was there that she became acquainted with the "shades of gray" that made up queer culture, where gender was not an absolute and terminology like "top surgery" was an acceptable part of the conversation in women's bars. She listened, she observed, she started to question, became involved, and realized that this was not a new journey, but one that she had started when she first realized she was not like other girls.

More so than any other trans-gender memoir or biography I have ever read, the author provides a realistic and easily relatable insight into just how confusing an issue this can be for those who are dealing with it, let alone family and friends who try to understand and support the individual's conclusions. Nina (now Nick) opens up his deepest insecurities and doubts about what is meant to be, served up with an overall positive attitude and sense of humor (apparent even in the clever title of the book!) that makes them all the more compelling. Well written and highly recommended, five stars out of five.

- Bob Lind, Echo Magazine
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Nina/Nick is super cool!
Its really rare to find a transgender memoir where all through the author is so very happy. Thats just the best way to describe it. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Inukie Koji
5.0 out of 5 stars Deep insight into female to male transgender
Nick Krieger tells his story about his transition from female to male in a clear voice that connected to me as a reader. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Bert Anderson
1.0 out of 5 stars How would Nina's father rate her book?
How would Nina's father rate her book, that loving man with so much baggage she simply had to relegate him to the dustbin of her past when things got tough for him? Read more
Published 18 months ago by Joan Z. Greiner
5.0 out of 5 stars courageous, beautiful and unbelievably relatable to pretty much anyone...
I have been meaning to read this book since it came out and finally dragged my ass to the bookstore to get it. I am so glad i did. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Lily
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, touching and well-written
If you like memoirs by writers with a sense of humor (Jeanette Walls "The Glass Castle" or Augusten Burroughs "Running with Scissors" or "Mennonite In a Little Black Dress" by... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Melissa
5.0 out of 5 stars this book rocks
I really recommend this book. Nick has painted a personal, intimate, funny and real portrait of his
own quest to find himself, and to carve out a space beyond the binary... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Angela Jimenez
2.0 out of 5 stars eh
I read this book and recommended it to my best friend as a basic primer to gender theory. It's not the best book for that, but it is light enough to not be a drag for an ally to... Read more
Published 20 months ago by AJ Wright
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible Read
This is the first transgender book I have read. It was very well written and I found it engaging and thought provoking. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Kateesha
4.0 out of 5 stars Well written memoir
I read this memoir to gain a better understanding of the gay/transgender community. It gives a bird's-eye-view into the life of a lesbian, as well as her journey in becoming... Read more
Published 21 months ago by kellym
5.0 out of 5 stars Nina Here Nor There
This story is the heartfelt journey of someone coming to terms with who they really are. As I have a transgender son I appreciated reading about another persons journey to... Read more
Published 22 months ago by OceanLovingGirl
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