Customer Reviews

Nina Here Nor There

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

By the time they reach the reader's hands, memoirs from the edge of society--and really, what memoir isn't from the edge of society when it comes down to it--have already been so marginalized so many times over, have lived entire lives in the shadows, that they can run the risk of preachiness, of self-righteousness, of over-defensive (and don't mind the pun here) cockiness. But "Nina Here Nor There" is not so much a memoir as it is therapy in words, words beautifully crafted and honed with so much love, and Nick Krieger is not so much a preacher as he is a comrade-in-arms. With equal parts wit and tenderness, Krieger writes to make sense of this world he finds himself in, a world of packers and binders and drains (oh my), a world that exists underneath a white Hanes t-shirt. He holds nothing back, and he is a narrator so completely genuine and lovable that you will laugh when he laughs when neither of you should be laughing at all. Page after page-turning page, you're in this with Krieger: you learn with him, you cry with him, you get your heart broken by lovers and family alike.

Yes, this book gives voice to a trans community, but that's nearly besides the point. This book gives voice to Nick Krieger, an outsider even in his outsider world, and his story is singular yet unassuming. This is what makes "Nina Here Nor There" so special. Krieger is as curious as he is insightful, and he understands that there is no one story, not for the transgender community, not for any community. Yet it is a rare story that is told this well. At the heart of it, there is love, identity, and family (both chosen and given), and it does not matter where one falls on the gender spectrum: this is a journey beyond gender. As a straight cis male, this reader was as captivated as any reader because, as Krieger writes, "man, woman, or other--none of us [are] the same people we once were." This is a human story, plain and simple, and a great human story at that.

Buy this book, read this book. You will not put it down until you reach the end.

This is a wonderful window into the mind of an "in between" transgender person.

As an activist ally in the transgender community, I have discussed the "gender continuum" many times during educational presentations. While realizing academically that the majority of us are not at either end of the male - female continuum, I have not fully understood the complexity of those whose transitional "end point" is somewhere in the middle. "Nina Here Nor There" provides a great deal more awareness and understanding of this position and those who occupy it.

There have been a great many transition memoirs written and published. Most imply that the only "real" trans person wants to change completely from the persona they were assigned at birth to the persona they feel they are. Some leave room for others to feel differently, and a few express themselves as being neither - nor.

Nina Here Nor There does this very well. Nick Krieger welcomes the reader into his most private thoughts and actions during several years of his life. He takes us along as he moves along the continuum from a not-quite-comfortable butch lesbian who hates her breasts toward a not-quite-male guy without them. He tells his story honestly and with good humor as he questions everything he has experienced and observed in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco during this period in his life.

This story brings to mind a different definition of transgender than most people are accustomed to. To me, the prefix "trans" can also mean past or beyond; with this interpretation, "transgender" can also mean "beyond gender" as we know it.

Other than being a bit of a "tomboy" who preferred athletics and outdoor activities to most traditional female interests, thirty year old Nina had never really questioned her birth gender, until she moved into an all-lesbian household in the Castro. It was there that she became acquainted with the "shades of gray" that made up queer culture, where gender was not an absolute and terminology like "top surgery" was an acceptable part of the conversation in women's bars. She listened, she observed, she started to question, became involved, and realized that this was not a new journey, but one that she had started when she first realized she was not like other girls.

More so than any other trans-gender memoir or biography I have ever read, the author provides a realistic and easily relatable insight into just how confusing an issue this can be for those who are dealing with it, let alone family and friends who try to understand and support the individual's conclusions. Nina (now Nick) opens up his deepest insecurities and doubts about what is meant to be, served up with an overall positive attitude and sense of humor (apparent even in the clever title of the book!) that makes them all the more compelling. Well written and highly recommended, five stars out of five.

- Bob Lind, Echo Magazine

This book had me so hooked I read it all in one sitting. I'm fairly choosy about what I read, but this memoir by Nick Krieger was excellent. Indeed, I can't remember the last book that was quite as thought-provoking to me. It was intimate, heart-wrenching, yet hilarious. Nick's voice as a writer shines through, and he really challenged me to some deeper thinking about gender identities, our bodies, and relationships in general. Thanks for sharing this with us all!

Nina Here Nor There was a page-turner every step of the way. In a day and age when people still discuss gender simply in terms of male or female, Nick Krieger sheds light on the actuality that gender is a much more complex concept. He challenges that idea that people must fall within a category, be "diagnosed," or be located on a spectrum in order to have an identity. By exploring the diversified vocabulary pertaining to gender that floats around the LGBT community, Nick toys with the different labels society has for people and struggles with identifying terms that help him understand himself. Nick reminds us that truly knowing oneself is an ongoing journey for everyone.

Superseding the theme of developing an identity, Nick emphasizes the importance of finding happiness within one's journey. Immersing himself in yoga, traveling, and engaging in discussions were all ways Nick used to grow as a human being and learn from the people around him. Nina Here Nor There reminds us of how important people are to the development of the individual; and how much we all really need each other.

As someone who knew nothing about the transmale community, or indeed what it's like to go on a quest to find one's true gender identity, I found Nick Krieger's Nina Here Nor There eye-opening, moving, and most of all, funny. He makes the whole world of "queerness" accessible and unintimidating. We talk about post-racial all over the place, but few dare to mention going beyond gender in our male-dominated world. Perhaps Nick has opened a Pandora's Box for the rest of us--which is probably a good thing. Either way, he has created a narrative of self-discovery that even the least queer of us can understand and, somehow, relate to. Heidi Mitchell, journalist

I have been meaning to read this book since it came out and finally dragged my ass to the bookstore to get it. I am so glad i did. I couldn't put it down, read it in 24 hours, and loved it. I am cisgendered and can be pretty high femme, but somehow it felt incredibly relateable and (for lack of a less cheesy word) really resonated with me in a way i was not expecting, since i'm not trans. I guess ultimately, his writing is so raw and real and thoughtful and human and complex, i felt instantly drawn to it and loved every minute of it. I would highly recommend this book!

If you like memoirs by writers with a sense of humor (Jeanette Walls "The Glass Castle" or Augusten Burroughs "Running with Scissors" or "Mennonite In a Little Black Dress" by Rhoda Janzen for instance,) check out this book. It's a great memoir. I love being taken into another person's story, hearing what it's like to live someone else's life. Nick Krieger does exactly this and tells his story with honesty and plenty of humor. Funny and touching and above all, well-written.

I really recommend this book. Nick has painted a personal, intimate, funny and real portrait of his

own quest to find himself, and to carve out a space beyond the binary

most of us are still trapped in. Reading about transfolks in the media

sometimes feels like a trip through treacherous water with an

unreliable guide. Nick has taken his trip into his own capable,

curious hands.

This is the first transgender book I have read. It was very well written and I found it engaging and thought provoking. I hesitate to say "easy read" because the topic was intense but Nick does an excellent job articulating his emotions and thought process therefore it is very easy to follow and to become engrossed. I highly recommend this book to anyone that has interest in learning more about transgender.