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Two and a Half Men 12 Seasons 2012

Season 9
3.4 out of 5 stars (134) IMDb 7.1/10

The multi-talented Ashton Kutcher, whose success spans film, television and social media, joins the cast of the Emmy Award-nominated TWO AND A HALF MEN as Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt in the hit comedy series about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love.

Starring:
Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer
Original air date:
May 14, 2012

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Season 9

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1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when ASHTON KUTCHER joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.

CC TV-NR September 18, 2011 21 minutes
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2. People Who Love Peepholes

Guest star JUDY GREER is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.

CC TV-NR September 25, 2011 21 minutes
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3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

CC TV-NR October 2, 2011 20 minutes
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4. Nine Magic Fingers

Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).

CC TV-NR October 9, 2011 21 minutes
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5. A Giant Cat Holding A Churro

While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risqu movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.

CC TV-NR October 16, 2011 21 minutes
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6. The Squat and Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

CC TV-NR October 23, 2011 22 minutes
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7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star MACEY CRUTHIRD)...who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

CC TV-NR October 30, 2011 19 minutes
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8. Thanks for the Intercourse

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional... and is pushed over the edge.

CC TV-NR November 6, 2011 22 minutes
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9. Frodo's Headshots

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope...including GARY BUSEY!

CC TV-NR November 13, 2011 21 minutes
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10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Walden hits it off with a British babe (guest star SOPHIE WINKLEMAN), but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

CC TV-NR November 20, 2011 22 minutes
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11. A Lovely Landing Strip

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. MELANIE LYNSKEY returns as Rose.

CC TV-NR December 4, 2011 20 minutes
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12. One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother, Robin (guest star MIMI ROGERS) arrives and Alan is smitten with her - even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

CC TV-NR December 11, 2011 21 minutes
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13. Slowly And In A Circular Fashion

When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.

CC TV-NR January 1, 2012 20 minutes
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14. A Possum on Chemo

Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.

CC TV-NR January 15, 2012 20 minutes
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15. The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack

Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's "special" brownies. MATTHEW MARSDEN guest stars as Zoey's ex-husband, Nigel.

CC TV-NR February 5, 2012 22 minutes
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16. Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

CC TV-NR February 12, 2012 20 minutes
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17. Not In My Mouth

Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experienc...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

CC TV-NR February 19, 2012 20 minutes
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18. The War Against Gingivitis

Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star PATTON OSWALT), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea.

CC TV-NR February 26, 2012 21 minutes
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19. Palmdale, ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to one another. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.

CC TV-NR March 18, 2012 22 minutes
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20. Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.

CC TV-NR April 8, 2012 22 minutes
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21. Mr. Hose says 'Yes'

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him - for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

CC TV-NR April 15, 2012 21 minutes
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22. Why We Gave Up Woman

Academy Award winner KATHY BATES guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan's hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.

CC TV-NR April 29, 2012 22 minutes
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23. The Straw in My Donut Hole

On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. Seinfeld's JASON ALEXANDER guest stars.

CC TV-NR May 6, 2012 22 minutes
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24. Oh look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden's ex-business partner, Billy.

CC TV-NR May 13, 2012 22 minutes
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: DVD
For 8 seasons "2 Men" was one of the biggest shows on TV and garnered dozens of awards, including 4 People's Choice wins, and Emmy wins for editing, mixing, and supporting actor. Charlie Sheen was nominated for a Golden Globe in 2005 and 2006 and by the SAG in 2005 and 2010. Then the crash. Then the revival.

Is the new show as awful as some critics suggest? No, not when you compare it to the trash that passes for TV comedy these days (apologies to "Big Bang Theory" and "Two Broke Girls"). But when you look back at the previous 8 seasons, there has been a major drop in the quality of the writing and the acting.

It can't all be blamed on Ashton Kutcher, although one has to question whether or not you can take someone seriously when he continually appears naked and when so many jokes are made about the size of his penis. Really?! The "man boy" thing gets pretty tired.

Poor Jon Cryer has deteriorated not only as an actor, but his character on the show has changed to someone with no redeeming qualities. In the previous seasons he had a job, tried to relate to his son, and did his best to get along with his ex wives even though he was inept. Now he is simply a manipulative deadbeat. There's no humor there.

In past seasons lots of laughs could be counted on whenever Conchata Ferrell (the housekeeper), Holland Taylor (the mother), and Melanie Lynskey (Rose, the stalker) showed up. In Season 9 we never see Rose, rarely see the mother, and the housekeeper's character has also deteriorated greatly. She simply isn't funny anymore.

About the only good thing in Season 9 is that Angus T Jones seems to have come into his own, and his scenes are finally funny, after several seasons of blah.

What can we do?
Read more ›
4 Comments 46 of 54 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: DVD
Where once stood a funny sitcom about single life, seduction and relationship, which was accompanied with brilliant black humor, sarcasm and funny puns,
now stand a rubbish sitcom with a stoned teen, a billionaire without brain and balls ... and Alen, antisocial than ever, accompanied with cheap fart- and penisjokes.
And if that does not work, then we show Ashton naked for the umpteenth time. Yes THIS is always funny. :/

With the 9th Season "Charlie Harper" wasn't the only one who has died.

Honestly your money is better spent if you take it, put it into a rocket and shoot it to space.

All that's left to do now is to drink, until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures of this season is dead. ;)
1 Comment 17 of 19 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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By AS on January 10, 2012
a short conclusion after the first two shows: stupid story, bad jokes

i'll stop watching season nine. the real "two and a half men" sitcom ends with season eight.
2 Comments 34 of 42 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: DVD
Well I agree with most posters that Two and a Half Men did seem to die with Charlie Sheen's exit and the demise of his character. It definatley is NOT the same show. I really, really tried to give it a chance. Ashton Kutcher in my opinion, is really not that funny and certainly was not as funny as Charlie Sheen. Alot of what made the original Two and a Half Men so funny, was Charlie's womanizing, and drunkin ways and how the rest of the characters had to suffer...especially Alan which was downright hilarious. Ashton as Walden seems annoying and there is no laughter there..as I said my opinion.

Also alot of comments talked about Jon Cryer and how his character has gotten worse and I agree. There is one thing leeching off your brother but a stranger? anyway the thing I think what also made the original(yes i will call it that)better, is that Sheen and Cryer really seemed to have a great chemistry with each other. I don't seem to get that with Cryer and Kutcher and one poster said that the show should be now called "Alan and two knuckleheads" which is funny. Though I will pass on this one...I would rather stick with the original and as my title says, glad I own seasons 1-8 with CHARLIE.
Comment 16 of 19 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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By Craig on November 1, 2011
Verified Purchase
This show was Charlie Sheen's stage. Without him, it's just another annoying sit-com. Watched the first two shows (I mean commercials for the Fisker Karma) and as much as I wanted it to work out, Ashton Kutcher just butchered it. I really like Angus T. Jones and Conchita Ferrell and it was just getting interesting again having Rose back in the picture. Sad to see this sit-com bite the dust, but bite the dust it did, and hard.
Comment 36 of 46 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: DVD
It is a damn shame this gem of a sitcom came to its bitter conclusion with the death of Charlie Harper. I am sure something could have been done to ease the tensions between Sheen and the producers so that everyone could have remained in their element. Adding Kutcher to the mix not only killed off Sheen's character, but it also killed one of the best sitcoms on American television. Kutcher is a lousy actor in just about every direction and was a bad choice for a replacement. Sheen cannot be replaced-simple as that! I have stopped watching it because it hurts too much to look at the cast that makes up the Harper family and their quirky friends degrade themselves. It is NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! The stories are scattered and the dialogue is stupid. Having Kutcher strip every now and then just for laughs is just plain vulgar. Please do buy and watch seasons 1-8 and leave well enough alone. It's best to remember this show for the brilliant comedic talent that entertained us loyal fans for eight terrific years.
4 Comments 43 of 56 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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