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Nine Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed in Love and Life [Hardcover]

Henry Cloud
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 7, 2004
Nine practical, easy-to-grasp strategies to help readers discover behaviors and responses that successful individuals have in common.


Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

You can win in the game of life!

Have you ever wondered about the difference between those who win at love and live, and those who fail? By carefully observing people who gave him a certain "deja vu" feeling when he first met them, Dr. Henry Cloud made a remarkable discovery. No, he hadn't actually met these people before, but he had encountered their particular ways of handling life. And the common denominator with these individuals who practiced these "ways" was they were all successful!

They all... - Had healthy relationships - Reached their goals - Did not repeat the same mistakes - Were in control of their lives - Felt a sense of purpose

Dr. Cloud then decided to do something that was not the focus of his clinical training: investigate why successful people's lives were working, rather than trying to uncover what was broken in a person and trying to fix it. He learned that personal growth is not only about getting healthy, but also about the principles successful people invariably practice.

If you follow these nine principles, you can achieve great results in y our work, your relationships, and other areas of your life. Best of all, these principles are not limited to the chose few who are born with money, brains, or great talent. They're available to anyone who wants to transform average relationships and uncertain hopes into vibrant and achievable dreams.

About the Author

Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, psychologist, and cohost of the national radio program New Life Live! He is also the author of numerous award-winning and popular books, including God Will Make a Way and coauthored the million-selling Boundaries. He holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, is a husband and father, and maintains private practice in Southern California.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 246 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson; First Edition edition (September 7, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591450098
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591450092
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #290,332 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Cloud is a leadership consultant, best-selling author, and speaker whose books have sold well over 5 million copies. He consults and speaks for companies and organizations in the area of leadership and performance, and is highly regarded for his ability to connect personal and interpersonal development with the needs of business.
He is a clinical psychologist and leadership consultant with a unique ability to connect with audiences. Drawing upon his broad range of experiences in private practice, leadership consulting, and media, he simplifies life's issues and gives easy to understand, practical advice. It's Dr. Cloud's humor, compassion and "in the moment" confrontation that make his approach to psychology, business and spirituality such a success.
Dr. Cloud has written, or co-written, more than twenty books, including the two-million-seller Boundaries and his most recent books, Necessary Endings, Integrity, The One Life Solution, The Law of Happiness and 9 Things You Simply Must Do. His books have sold over five million copies. His works have been reviewed and featured by such publications as The New York Times, The Wall St. Journal, The Boston Globe, The Los Angeles Times and many others. Dr. Cloud co-hosts the nationally syndicated radio program New Life Live, which is heard in over 180 markets.
As a speaker, he is a favorite at corporate events, conventions, and public arena events on a variety of topics, speaking regularly through the U.S. and internationally.
In his consulting practice, he works with leaders in a wide range of organizations and corporations, from family help firms to Fortune 25 and Fortune 500 companies. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as an organizational and leadership consultant, spending the majority of his hands-on time with CEOs and executive teams.
Dr. Cloud founded and built a health care company which operated treatment centers in forty markets in the Western U.S. for which he served as Clinical Director for ten years. In that context of hands-on clinical experience, he developed and researched many of the treatment principles and methods that he communicates to audiences now. After selling the company, he devoted his time to consulting and coaching, spreading principles of hope and life-change through speaking, writing and media.
He is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, earning a B.S. in psychology with honors. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in the area of homelessness and the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
87 of 90 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars a good success book July 22, 2007
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Cloud does a good job on how to have a successful life. First, you must find what you would like to do as a career. Second, deal with problems by fixing it or eliminating it. Third, create a well thought out plan step by step all the way to reaching successs. Also think about options and see if they will hurt you or help you in the future. Fourth, be proactive, be a person of action. Fifth, be dilligent and industrious by doing something and make progress, no matter how small the progress is. Sixth, Be sure to fix what you hate in a positive way. Seventh, do not seek justice for yourself, seek rather to give mercy and forgive. Eighth, study and grow in humility. Ninth, realize that you cannot please everyone.
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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Nine Things Review March 13, 2009
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, radio program host, business coach, successful businessman, and author of several best selling books on self-help and spiritual matters. In this book, Nine Things you Must Simply Do To Succeed in Love and Life, Cloud draws upon his experience working with highly successful people to identify nine principles that contribute to the successes these individuals experience. Cloud refers to successful people with the term "déjà vu" because these nine characteristics show up in one way or another and brings him a since of "I've seen this before somewhere."
The nine characteristics that Dr. Cloud has identified as essential in creating a life of success are summed up as follows:

1. Dig it up: Pay attention to the hidden things of the heart and deal with them appropriately. This could refer to treasures which need to be cared for, such as desires, talents, and goals, or it could refer to trash which are things that should be dealt with rather than burying.
2. Pull the tooth: Get rid of those things that bring you down and stump your growth. This could be manifested as habits, attitudes, relationships, or behaviors that do not serve you or your life purpose. Déjà vu people discard these as quickly as possible.
3. Play the movie: Make it a habit to consider the future as a result of all your actions. Be aware of possible consequences to everything you do or do not do.
4. Do something: Déjà vu people are action oriented rather than waiting for something to happen or to sit about and complain. They take full responsibility for their lives.
5. Act like an ant: Always be moving toward your goal even if it is one grain of sand at a time. Do not look at goals as the whole, but as do-able steps.
6. Hate well: Hate is a natural part of being a human, however, déjà vu people know how to objectify their hate and use it to heal and correct rather than to destroy and break down.
7. Don't play fair: Do not live a life of tit for tat. Do not repay evil for evil. Instead, live by the golden rule and seek to bring about the higher order rather than giving back what is deserved.
8. Be humble: Strive to see feedback as a gift and do not take it offensively. Never feel that you are better than you are or better than anyone else. Déjà vu people are teachable.
9. Upset the right people: Do not be confined to making decisions based on how it will affect people around you. Be concerned about their feelings but do not allow it to add weight to your decision to do what is best.
Nine Things You Must Simply Do to be Successful in Love and Life is a "how to" manual on living a victorious life. Dr. Cloud encourages healthy doses of love and wisdom to guide our interactions with others as well as with ourselves.
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29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life-changing and life-defining book! November 29, 2007
Format:Paperback
Easy-to-read content with clear, pertinent examples of each of the '9 things' we must do to experience personal and professional success. Very common sense stuff. The presentation is like concentrated orange juice: it's weighty content that most of us have heard about in a watered down manner, or we KNOW it's true, but it's in the BACK of our minds, not in the forefront. Cloud brings these significant issues to the FOREFRONT of our minds, and he makes them memorable so that they will be imprinted on our minds, if we choose to adopt them. I have a friend who can't quickly get through the book b/c the truth is hard to embrace, sometimes. This material can be VERY CHALLENGING to adopt and apply in our lives, but, I'm living a much more peaceful and fulfilling life by just applying what I've learned so far, and I'm only about 80% through the book.... It's only when we challenge ourselves that true growth takes place. Growth never comes easily.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Plesantly Surprised
I had to read this book for a leadership course I was taking. I expected this to be a dry read where the author was preaching his message. I really enjoyed this book. Read more
Published 3 days ago by K. Rappe
5.0 out of 5 stars Sage advice.
I always learn something from self help books, but this is the first one I have ever recommended. Both of my adult sons loved it and found practical wisdom for everyday life in the... Read more
Published 8 days ago by Cynthia K. Geck
5.0 out of 5 stars great deal
arrive ealier than expected, I really enjoy those books for the purpose I purchase them I would recommend those books for Chaplains.
Published 23 days ago by Puzzlevip
5.0 out of 5 stars Think You're A Leader
Dr. Henry Cloud teaches 9 leadership principles that work in any situation! If you are going to buy any book this year, make it this one! It will change you!
Published 1 month ago by Michael S. Vonfabian
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book
Generally when I read these types of books, I tend to lose steam quickly. With this book however, I was hooked from beginning to end. Dr. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Holly H
4.0 out of 5 stars Good book
It is a good read and offers what can be life altering tips. It will make you take a closer look at your life. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Bonnie Kramer
5.0 out of 5 stars Striving to have the best relationship
Must educate yourself and practice proper relational behavior if you want to have a great relationship with your partner. This book helps you educate youself toward that end.
Published 2 months ago by Ricky28
5.0 out of 5 stars 9 things
This is a great book, easy to read, and filled with practical, life changing advice. it is challenging with its simple, no nonsense principles.
Published 3 months ago by Dan
5.0 out of 5 stars When you think you know it all in how to succeed........
Think again. Better yet, read this book. Sound advice with biblical references that you can relate to in many of life's daily dealings with people and relationships.
Published 3 months ago by Pds8
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Lots of good practical advise. Seems like a lot of this we learn in grade school but is forgotten along the way. I especially like the reference to scripture. Read more
Published 3 months ago by mphsangel
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