Ninjas of the 512: A Texas-Sized Satire [Kindle Edition]

Laura Roberts (Author)

Book Description

Suzie Jimenez is a rabble-rousing Texas history teacher who's always taught her students to fight oppression. Teaching an alternative curriculum that celebrates nonviolent protest, methods of peaceful rebellion and the state's homegrown freedom fighters, Suzie encourages her students to question everything, including unjust state laws. But all of that is about to come to an end, thanks to Governor Nick Harry.

A week before classes resume for the fall, Suzie and the rest of the teachers at Rebel Yell High School are laid off by the Governor's new budget cuts. Harry declares war on the teachers, cutting their jobs and confiscating their paychecks for his Rainy Day Fund. But Suzie won't back down from this fight. Instead of getting mad, she goes rogue.

Joining a rebel band of ninjas Suzie starts a revolution in the state capital of Austin, but quickly discovers she's in over her head. Not only does Governor Harry have a secret weapon, but he's also employed a ship full of pirates to protect him as he launches a campaign for the Presidency! Suzie and the ninjas have to act fast to stop another arrogant Texan from taking the White House, but in the ultimate battle of good versus evil, it's every ninja for himself.

Can one woman beat the system, or will Suzie's ideals betray her?

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Writing humor is all about knowing when to plant and harvest a joke. It's something that can't be taught. An author either has it or doesn't. Roberts has it in spades." -Benjamin Sobieck, author of Cleansing Eden and the Maynard Soloman comedic crime stories

From the Author

This book is a satirical take on Governor Rick Perry's persistently boneheaded political moves, and how those within the Texas educational system are often treated as little more than pawns in Perry's re-election campaigns. Although Perry has thankfully been eliminated from the 2012 Presidential race, I'm sure we'll see him again in 2016--and he continues to run the state of Texas into the ground as governor, which is what's truly scary! Is our only hope a band of ninjas, thirsty for justice?

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 253 KB
• Print Length: 110 pages
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Publisher: Buttontapper Press (February 1, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0074U5LJO
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Not Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #860,953 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Ninjas + Pirates + Politics = Perfect February 18, 2012

By Benjamin Sobieck

Format:Kindle Edition

Does it really matter what political parties "stand for" any more? What if you stripped away the bumper stickers, the phony piety and hollow everymanism to expose their true essence? You'd probably end up with something similar to ninjas and pirates. Both hate each other. Why? Who cares. Let's fight.

There are similar scenes in Laura Roberts's excellent humor novella, Rebels of the 512. (Note to author Roberts: I know you're an editor and may ding me for using "Roberts's," but I stand firm on using 's on singular nouns. Just be glad I didn't write "scene's" just now. You'd probably kill me.) In a pitched battle between ninjas and pirates, the exhausted sides agree to settle it on an arm wrestling match.

While this makes for good humor, it reveals a potent remark about politics. Heated debates often devolve into childish gestures hurled between sides. Whoever puts up the strongest fight wins, regardless of whether it was the best outcome.

Understanding the political references isn't critical to enjoying Rebels of the 512. Neither is living in Austin, Texas, where the piece takes place. Nor is knowing much about Texas Gov. Rick Perry, parodied here as villian "Nick Harry."

All you really need to know is that Gov. Harry's budget cuts put teacher Suzie Jimenez out of a job. She goes on the warpath with a group of ninjas determined to defeat Harry's pirates. Hilarity ensues.

But the plot isn't what makes Rebels of the 512 tick. It's Roberts's sense of comedic timing that really matters - and shines. Writing humor is all about knowing when to plant and harvest a joke. It's something that can't be taught. An author either has it or doesn't. Roberts has it in spades.

That's why Rebels of the 512 is such a fine read. This is an author who knows how to write humor. Don't be fooled by the slapstick, it's not an easy thing to do. That she wrote it in three days as part of a contest proves Roberts's humor chops beyond the remotest shadow of a doubt.

3.0 out of 5 stars 3.5 Stars April 23, 2012

By MJ

Format:Kindle Edition

3.5*

Written in only 72 hours this was Laura Roberts entry in Canada's 3 day Novel Contest.

Just a week before the start of the new term, History teacher Suzie Jimenez received an E-mail from the head teacher informing her that due to Governor Nick Harry's budget cuts their school would be closing it's doors indefinitely and she was fired. Angry, confused and looking for answers she contacts all the other teachers and together they set up a protest march in front of the Capitol building. This is just the beginning of what turns into a full on battle between the people and the state. But it's no ordinary war this one not only has the `evil politicians' but they share the stage with ninja's and pirates in this tongue in cheek political novella.

`Rebels of the 512' is a satirical novella about Texan politics. Being neither a Texan nor an American, a lot of the references are lost on me but this in no way takes away my understanding of the plot. Politicians are the same world over and the subject normally sends me to sleep. Amazingly this book didn't have the yawn factor I imagined it would, Laura Roberts is witty and her ability to write humour kept a smile on my face to the end.

5.0 out of 5 stars You wanted to see my plank, now walk it! March 26, 2012

By Shandyowl

Format:Kindle Edition

Sexy, funny, silly. I read 'Rebels of the 512' cover-to-cover (if you can do that with an e-book) in one sitting. A sometimes frenetic romp by turns satirical and farcical, it never fails to hold the attention.
With more twists and turns than a lower intestine, the overall feel is that of Venture Bros. but with a more satirical edge and that alone should be enough to recommend it.

More About the Author

Laura Roberts is obsessed with sexy stories, political satire and religious epiphanies. Having published several books on sex and one on politics, she's debating whether to fully shun herself from polite conversations with the inevitable conclusion to this trio. For now she'll stick to humorous erotica with her fictional take on life in the sex trade with her latest novel, Naked Montreal.

As the author of the quirky "V for Vixen" sex column for one of Montreal's alternative newspapers, Roberts witnessed a variety of sexcapades during her time on the beat. Armed with a degree in Creative Writing from Concordia University, she seamlessly blends fact and fiction about this Underground City to create work that has been described as both sassy and insightful.

Laura currently helms the literary salon Black Heart Magazine, writes and publishes humorous erotic fiction at Buttontapper Press, and sweats out her summers with her artist husband and literary kitty in a château in Austin, Texas. You can connect with her on Twitter @originaloflaura.