219 of 221 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Thank god this book exists!!!, May 31, 2005
This review is from: The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers: Gentle Ways to Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child's Sleep (Paperback)
I read "The no-cry sleep solution", and loved it, but I was needed something for my now toddler who is presenting a million new problems. The most wonderful thing about this book is that it asks you questions in a non-judgemental way that then allow you to assess your situation, and decide if you really need to make a change, then it gives you a variety of solutions. The author points out that there is no one size fits all solution, and then she goes on to give you many gentle and loving options. If the cry it out method worked for you, you wouldn't be reading this review, now would you??? I'm not aware of any sleep books that deal specifically with older children, other than this . All the ones I know of deal with 6 month old babies, and I found most to be unacceptable for a toddler dealing with separation anxiety. This book however, talks about many individual sleep problems including separation anxiety, how to move to their own bed, nightmares, waking too early, daylight savings time, teething, non-nappers, trips to the parent's bed... The list goes on and on. One more wonderful thing about this book is that the author did more of a scientific study on the matter. She interviewed over a 1000 families, and then had over 200 "test mommies" to work out her sleep theories. She also refers to the Sleep in America polls, and refers to the current leading sleep expert at Stanford (not Ferber). Instead of just giving her opinions on what worked for her own children (she has 4), she actually asks other families and does research. Despite my own personal objections to Ferberizing, she makes no judgements like that, everything she says is loving and encouraging.
Just for the record, you're not alone. Here's an excerpt from the book taken out of the Sleep in America Poll:
Toddlers wake up:
3 or more times a night (4%)
2 x a night (5%)
1 x a night (38%)
in other words, 47% of toddlers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep. This is including all sleep techniques.
Preschoolers:
3 or more times a night (2%)
2 x a night (3%)
1 x a night (31%)
in other words, 36% of preschoolers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep.
She then goes on to say that "it is perfectly natural, absolutely normal, and totally expected for your toddler or preschooler to wake up in the night and need your help to fall back asleep. Sleeping all through the night, every night, without needing a parent's assistance is like learning to walk or talk or drink from a cup - all kids get there, but they do so at their own speed, a little at a time, and in their own unique way. I promise I won't leave you dangling there, just because something is normal doesn't mean you have to simply live with it until things change on their own."
I won't lie, if you want immediate results in a matter of days, this is not the book for you. However, if you'd like to teach your child to sleep in a loving, gentle, compassionate (and thus slow) way, this book will help you get there. I've been practicing the ideas in this book for a few days, and already I'm seeing some improvements. It has many creative ways to communicate with your child your wishes for sleep. Like - make a book with pictures of your bedtime routine, and a picture of your child sleeping in his own crib, then cuddled by his parents in the morning...
Good luck, and hope you get to sleeping better!
-Charis
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85 of 87 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Help and encouragement have arrived, June 17, 2005
This review is from: The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers: Gentle Ways to Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child's Sleep (Paperback)
After thousands of years, one would suppose appropriate sleep routines would be ingrained in our traditional childrearing practices, but somehow we've lapsed, so it's fortunate Elizabeth Pantley felt called to retrain us in mindful, deliberate ways to support children's healthful rest.
Following her insightful, reliable guide to helping babies settle into sleep better (No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night 2002), Pantley presents the next step, a fresh look at sleep issues with practical, logical help for parents of older children.
She gives sound information, wise, caring opinions, and down-to-earth strategies such as her "gentle removal plan" and morning fairy rewards, but no harsh, extinction-based or cry-it-out "programs" to follow. With respect for children and parents, in understandable, friendly language, she explains basic normal sleep patterns and problems, lays out how to develop customized "sleep plans," and offers general tips, precautions, and a variety of options parents might consider.
Her material is well organized with a useful table of contents and extensive index, and she covers, in detail, aspects of sleep other resources overlook. The topic of nursing toddlers at bedtime, for example, is treated with specific step-by-step advice. Again and again, Pantley provides the prep work for parents' decisionmaking with multifaceted, cogent overviews, such as the evaluation of mechanics, construction, and coziness of beds and cribs including child preferences and participation, safety, bedding, allergens, placement and environment.
In a positive, sympathetic manner, she knowledgeably assists readers thinking through such subjects as schedules, napping, waking, dreams, fears, tooth grinding, bed-wetting, separation, transferring beds, adoption, twins, snoring, normal problems vs actual disorders, and daylight saving changes. With brevity and substance, she jogs parents' awareness to help them work out their own choices for their own families.
Pantley is a dedicated researcher with a mother's perspective who converts what she studies into accessible, compassionate guidance with real life application. She has a gift for clarity and is responsible about facts and data, as evidenced by her approach to putting the book together: Forty-four volunteer test families around the world, of varied configurations, read her initial manuscript and followed Pantley's directions, reporting back to let her "peek into their naptime and bedtime routines, problems and successes," and 245 families completed extensive sleep surveys. (Interesting snapshots of some of their sleeping children in various circumstances- a two-year-old's feet extended over the top of carpeted stairs, siblings entwined, sound asleep fathers snuggling, a three year old tipped forward from an upholstered chair onto a foot stool- are interspersed among the text, a sweet touch.)
As in her other encouraging works, Pantley puts her heart into this one. The understanding and patience she imparts diminish parental frustration and the versatile selection of practical ideas helps families handle challenging adjustments sensibly.
The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers should become a basic parenting standby.
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