Customer Reviews

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers: Gentle Ways to Stop Bedtime Battles and Improve Your Child's Sleep

5 star:		(75)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I read "The no-cry sleep solution", and loved it, but I was needed something for my now toddler who is presenting a million new problems. The most wonderful thing about this book is that it asks you questions in a non-judgemental way that then allow you to assess your situation, and decide if you really need to make a change, then it gives you a variety of solutions. The author points out that there is no one size fits all solution, and then she goes on to give you many gentle and loving options. If the cry it out method worked for you, you wouldn't be reading this review, now would you??? I'm not aware of any sleep books that deal specifically with older children, other than this . All the ones I know of deal with 6 month old babies, and I found most to be unacceptable for a toddler dealing with separation anxiety. This book however, talks about many individual sleep problems including separation anxiety, how to move to their own bed, nightmares, waking too early, daylight savings time, teething, non-nappers, trips to the parent's bed... The list goes on and on. One more wonderful thing about this book is that the author did more of a scientific study on the matter. She interviewed over a 1000 families, and then had over 200 "test mommies" to work out her sleep theories. She also refers to the Sleep in America polls, and refers to the current leading sleep expert at Stanford (not Ferber). Instead of just giving her opinions on what worked for her own children (she has 4), she actually asks other families and does research. Despite my own personal objections to Ferberizing, she makes no judgements like that, everything she says is loving and encouraging.
Just for the record, you're not alone. Here's an excerpt from the book taken out of the Sleep in America Poll:
Toddlers wake up:
3 or more times a night (4%)
2 x a night (5%)
1 x a night (38%)
in other words, 47% of toddlers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep. This is including all sleep techniques.
Preschoolers:
3 or more times a night (2%)
2 x a night (3%)
1 x a night (31%)
in other words, 36% of preschoolers wake up at least once per night and need a parent to fall back asleep.
She then goes on to say that "it is perfectly natural, absolutely normal, and totally expected for your toddler or preschooler to wake up in the night and need your help to fall back asleep. Sleeping all through the night, every night, without needing a parent's assistance is like learning to walk or talk or drink from a cup - all kids get there, but they do so at their own speed, a little at a time, and in their own unique way. I promise I won't leave you dangling there, just because something is normal doesn't mean you have to simply live with it until things change on their own."

I won't lie, if you want immediate results in a matter of days, this is not the book for you. However, if you'd like to teach your child to sleep in a loving, gentle, compassionate (and thus slow) way, this book will help you get there. I've been practicing the ideas in this book for a few days, and already I'm seeing some improvements. It has many creative ways to communicate with your child your wishes for sleep. Like - make a book with pictures of your bedtime routine, and a picture of your child sleeping in his own crib, then cuddled by his parents in the morning...

Good luck, and hope you get to sleeping better!
-Charis

After thousands of years, one would suppose appropriate sleep routines would be ingrained in our traditional childrearing practices, but somehow we've lapsed, so it's fortunate Elizabeth Pantley felt called to retrain us in mindful, deliberate ways to support children's healthful rest.

Following her insightful, reliable guide to helping babies settle into sleep better (No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night 2002), Pantley presents the next step, a fresh look at sleep issues with practical, logical help for parents of older children.

She gives sound information, wise, caring opinions, and down-to-earth strategies such as her "gentle removal plan" and morning fairy rewards, but no harsh, extinction-based or cry-it-out "programs" to follow. With respect for children and parents, in understandable, friendly language, she explains basic normal sleep patterns and problems, lays out how to develop customized "sleep plans," and offers general tips, precautions, and a variety of options parents might consider.

Her material is well organized with a useful table of contents and extensive index, and she covers, in detail, aspects of sleep other resources overlook. The topic of nursing toddlers at bedtime, for example, is treated with specific step-by-step advice. Again and again, Pantley provides the prep work for parents' decisionmaking with multifaceted, cogent overviews, such as the evaluation of mechanics, construction, and coziness of beds and cribs including child preferences and participation, safety, bedding, allergens, placement and environment.

In a positive, sympathetic manner, she knowledgeably assists readers thinking through such subjects as schedules, napping, waking, dreams, fears, tooth grinding, bed-wetting, separation, transferring beds, adoption, twins, snoring, normal problems vs actual disorders, and daylight saving changes. With brevity and substance, she jogs parents' awareness to help them work out their own choices for their own families.

Pantley is a dedicated researcher with a mother's perspective who converts what she studies into accessible, compassionate guidance with real life application. She has a gift for clarity and is responsible about facts and data, as evidenced by her approach to putting the book together: Forty-four volunteer test families around the world, of varied configurations, read her initial manuscript and followed Pantley's directions, reporting back to let her "peek into their naptime and bedtime routines, problems and successes," and 245 families completed extensive sleep surveys. (Interesting snapshots of some of their sleeping children in various circumstances- a two-year-old's feet extended over the top of carpeted stairs, siblings entwined, sound asleep fathers snuggling, a three year old tipped forward from an upholstered chair onto a foot stool- are interspersed among the text, a sweet touch.)

As in her other encouraging works, Pantley puts her heart into this one. The understanding and patience she imparts diminish parental frustration and the versatile selection of practical ideas helps families handle challenging adjustments sensibly.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers should become a basic parenting standby.

This is the most complete and useful book I've seen on the topic. It includes a section of general information call Sleep Tips for Every Child which includes very practical and easy to use ideas and how to implement them. Has an extensive section that covers particular problems such as night waking, bedtime battles, and what to do when a child needs mommy or daddy to fall asleep. GREAT chapters on naps; making the transition from the family bed; and moving from the crib to a bed. Unique and wonderfully gentle ideas for night weaning a toddler. A cheerful book that is easy to read and even has lots of adorable sleeping toddler photos. Very highly recommended.

I read countless books on sleeping out of desperation. I've met a few parents who think they have all the answers to the sleep problem and they have only one child who happened to be 'not normal' and sleep well. I wish I had read this book much earlier. I tried cry-out methods (and there're many variations) and they only work temporarily. Everytime we sleep over at our in-laws, one of them get sick, or something changed, we had to go through the horrible cry-out methods over and over again. I've been thinking I am not persistent and can't control my own kids (I have two boys 4 & 2 1/2). While reading this book, I assessed my kids' sleep habits and was relieved they're normal and getting enough sleep. I just needed to adjust a few little things and even before I finished the book, everyone (including myself!) started sleeping better at night. Night routines are much more pleasant. Of course, there are nights they wake up and come to get me, but armed with helpful information, I can deal with it much more effectively and everyone quickly goes back to sleep. I feel much happier since I am getting better sleep at nights. We're expecting our third and I am going to read her book on babies.

Before I had a baby, I did not realize that there were two schools of thought regarding how to get children to sleep through the night. If you are like me, the thought of letting your child "cry it out," like some doctors will advocate, sounded incredibly harsh. There had to be a better way of teaching your baby to sleep.

Elizabeth Pantley does just that in her book. Her research includes real mothers, real experiences, and their stories of successful sleeping.

My son had acid reflux for six long months and did not sleep through the night. When the acid reflux was no longer an issue, his sleeping patterns continued to be interrupted. Our pediatrician even told us that we had the right to "shut the door and let him cry." He had never been in his crib to sleep--instead, only in a bouncy seat to keep him upright because of the reflux. Why now, were we supposed to punish him for having had the reflux and having his sleep interrupted by putting him in his crib and letting him "cry it out?" I did not agree with this method. A friend having the same problem sent me this life-saver-of-a-book.

I soon realized that there was another VALID option to letting babies "cry it out." If you are looking for a loving, peaceful option, this is your book. It is not an overnight solution, but neither is "crying it out," contrary to popular belief. However, it does work and it has worked beautifully for me. My son is now sleeping through the night and I have Elizabeth Pantley and her well-written book to thank. Do yourself and your precious child a favor and buy this book.

I read both of these books (No-Cry for Babies and the No-Cry for Toddlers) when my son was about 9-months old and was waking about every 45 minutes to nurse. It got so bad that I was only getting about 15 minutes of sleep at a time thru the night!
After reading Ms Pantley's books and following the instructions, I am pleased to say that Evan is sleeping thru the night now!!! He sleeps for at least 8 hours a night and then goes back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. He will put himself to sleep and then stay asleep for the night. I am so grateful to have my nights back. Also, now that he can do this, I feel more confident to be able to go out and leave him with a sitter (which I couldn't do before) We were able to accomplish this within 2 weeks.
I wish I had read these books sooner! These are now my favorite baby shower gifts!!!!!

In "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers," Elizabeth Pantley sweeps through the clamor of parenting philosophies with commonsense solutions. Not sure how to solve your little one's sleep problem -- or if it's really a problem at all? Pantley provides objective, non-judgmental questions to help guide you toward answers that work for you, your child and your entire family. Her genuinely family-centered approach balances the demands of parents and children alike with respect, flexibility and humor. Pantley's inclusive strategies offer alternatives for all sorts of families and all sorts of parenting styles. You won't find a more realistic, practical approach to solving sleep dilemmas. -- Lisa Poisso, editor, Natural Family Online magazine (naturalfamilyonline.com)

My daughter is 16 months old. I read the No-Cry Sleep Solution (for babies) months ago with some success. However, despite following the suggestions in that book fairly closely, my daughter still continued to "fight sleep". I consider myself to be an "attachment parenting" mom (which I define as being sensitive and responsive to my child's needs which has naturally led to co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, babywearing etc.). I have been quite committed to finding alternatives to letting my child "cry-it-out". At the same time, I had been feeling quite impatient with our family's sleep problems and had wanted to improve things.

Flash forward to last week when I purchased Elizabeth Pantley's NCSS for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Much of the main information is the same in this book as in her first book (get child on a routine, follow child's biological clock etc.). In addition, the book has tons of helpful advice that is toddler/preschooler specific (nightmares, moving from family bed to own bed etc). I like the fact that Elizabeth "speaks" to ALL families ---those that follow attachment parenting lifestyles and also to more mainstream parenting styles.

What "spoke to me" the most was her comments about letting an older toddler/preschooler cry for a short time and how this is not the same context as letting an infant cry. I agree with Elizabeth that while "no crying" should be the goal sometimes a brief amount of crying can help the situation. Personally, I needed this reassurance...over the last few days, I have let my daughter cry for 5-10 minutes and it has really worked wonders. Rather than spending 2-3 hours trying to get her to sleep (routine, and then being in and out of the room), I am able to do our routine (lasting an hour and a half) and then leave the room (until I am ready for bed a few hours later). It has made all the difference in the world. I am getting a much-needed break and my daughter is happier for it (isn't overtired from "fighting sleep").

I am so excited about this book!! For anyone out there with kiddies between 12-ish months and 6 years or so who is frustrated with sleep issues ...
I can not recommend this book highly enough!!! IT IS WONDERFUL!!!

I have a toddler and a preschooler with entirely different sleep issues, and this is working for both!

I'm just not a 'cry-it-out' mom. I've tried once or twice out of utter desperation, but it just isn't a solution for our family. It just doesn't feel right for us.

I read this book in a day (ok I was obsessed and driven by desperate fatigue LOL) and we've been following some suggestions for less than a week. Already our boys' sleep problems are improving (almost gone in fact!) & their day times are better now too! We are having fewer mood swings and 'spats' (we don't usually have full blown tantrums to begin with, but even the mini - strops that we sometimes get are gone!) They are both more settled and content, all due to new routines and better quality of sleep. I am more rested and better able to cope in the day too!

I'm no moron LOL - I hate being told how to do my job! I consider myself a great parent who does an amazing job ... we've simply been struggling with sleep issues for a while now, and the whole family has been tired as a result.

IMO, sometimes when we get so wrapped up in our own difficulties, it becomes a 'forest for the tress' situation. This book helped us get back to basics without preaching rights from wrongs. I find the whole attitude and approach straightforward, gentle and encouraging, without being condescending.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it isn't 'Parenting 101 for Idiots' like some parenting self-help books can be. The advice and suggestions are simple and basic, and more importantly kind and gentle to our children! No quick-fix-child-training, more of a new perspective for the whole family.

It's great to get back to the basics without being made to feel an idiot for needing a little help. AND IT's WORKING!!! Our neighbours have noticed a difference already (in all of us!) and are lining up to borrow it ... I don't want to part with it though!

I find this book even more helpful than the NCSS for Babies...mainly because toddlers and preschoolers are an easier age for sleep-training (at least in my house! LOL). Loads of helpful hints on making your little ones want to cozy up and, yes, fall asleep in their beds!

Written in a very non-judgmental tone, Pantley is helpful to every "type" of mother- those that like their children sleeping in their beds, those that are trying to get their kids to sleep in their own beds, those that have tried crying it out in the past, and those that would rather die.

Gentle but effective.