Customer Reviews

No Man Knows My Pastries: The Secret Not Sacred Recipes of Sister Enid Christensen

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Since Mitt Romney's Presidential bid, discussion blogs are overloaded with people asking about Mormon beliefs, but there are few asking about Mormon cultural norms, which arguably could have a bigger impact on a Romney White House. This hilarious gem of a recipe book provides incisive tongue-in-cheek insight into Mormon culture in Utah and Idaho, as well as a hidden treasure of recipes by Sister Enid Christensen.

From Tuna a la King of Kings and Adam's Barbecued Short Ribs to Legislature Weenies and Suppresso, both Latter Day Saints with a sense of humor and those who have lived among them will delight in this buffet of tasty treats.

Savory morsels of history with a dash of theology are artfully blended with wholesome family social structure into a Utah feast. The family tree at the begininng of the chapter on "In-Breads" explains LDS cosmology, genealogy, history, plural marriage and naming conventions all in one easy diagram.

Let the kids make Bologna Angel Wings and try constructing a Sugar Cube Temple (if you happen to have 26,000 sugar cubes on hand) while you sip on Joseph and Emma's Afternoon Delight. One can only wish for a supplement on tapioca salads and home-canned goods.

If you live in the northern Utah/southeastern Idaho region, this book is legendary. It's one of those things that seems to be passed back and forth under the table; some people have seen it and others can quote whole passages from it. I was finally "gifted" a used copy by a gay friend, and I have to admit, this book is the damnedest thing: a humor classic that is also an incisive (but gentle) satire of a regional/religious culture, and above all else, a cookbook.

Sister Enid Christensen is the LDS housewife and mother to end them all: a Stake Relief Society Ancestral Recipe Coordinator whose duties coincide with the care and feeding of her husband and their "eternal family." Ingredients for the recipes are the stuff of the odds-and-ends cupboard: Ritz Crackers, Jell-O mix, leftover candy; the end results are Sunday horrors such as "Jell-O Ribbon Loaf" and "Franked Corn Things." Accompanying the recipes are photos of Sister Enid and her husband LaMar reveling in the eternal bliss of their kitchen or the hallowed glow of "Conference" over the living room television.

The Christensens are the alter-egos of Roger Salazar and Michael Wightman, two gay men who have brilliantly revealed the regional culture without eviscerating it. The Christensens may be harrowingly moribund in a box store, lock step lifestyle, but they're lovably goofy too, rendering this book a minor masterpiece of humor and pathos.

I can quibble about just two things: the "Jello-O Belt" shown on page 6 actually extends all the way north to Rexburg, Idaho, if not just beyond to St. Anthony. There's also no recipe for the famous "Funeral Potatoes" (a.k.a. "Party Potatoes"). But as one of my gay neighbors told me, "If you don't know that one already, you haven't lived here long enough."

The humor and entertainment value is obvious, but I'm happy to say it's also full of great recipes! I wish I could trust all the recipes to be delicious, but I actually do use my book when I have extra zucchini on hand.

Deserving of ongoing recommendation is NO MAN KNOWS MY PASTRIES, a fun and lively survey of Mormon cookery pairing a healthy dose of humor with recipes for everything from Sweet and Sour Hot Dogs (spiced with apple or currant jelly) to a Spam casserole and Wonder Bread side dish.

This is very funny cookbook for those familiar with the Mormon (LDS) culture. It does not make fun of the religion only the culture so Mormons and non-Mormon will enjoy it equally. It has recipes. Includes such things as the Jello-Matrix for all occassions.