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No More Mr Nice Guy Hardcover – January 8, 2003
"Stop Being Lonely" by Kira Asatryan
Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships | Check out "Stop Being Lonely".
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Top Customer Reviews
The characteristics of "Nice Guys" are men who have difficulty setting boundaries in relationships with women and become doormats. The men often feel as helpless victims and seeing another person as the cause of problems. Many nice guys live life trying to gain approval for others.
Many nice guys did not have their needs met as boys. As a coping mechanism to try to get their needs met, they try to be nice. Later in life, Nice Guys apply the skills learned as a boy in dealing with women - by being nice - it does not work. When being nice does not work, the Nice Guys try to be even nicer.
Men need to set healthy boundaries in relationships with women. Avoiding conflicts in relationships is problematic - Women do not feel safe with a man they know they can push around. A woman wants to know you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. There is a catch - she has to test to see if she can trust you. When you set a boundary, she may strongly test and push against the boundary. She will tell you that you are wrong for having the boundary and do her best to find out if the boundary is for real. Generally, when women feel secure, they feel loved. When a man stands up to a woman, she believes he will likely stand up for her.Read more ›
This book fully described what I've been going through, told me how things got to be this way, and gave me concrete steps on how to change things. Since I've read it, my life has improved, I feel better, more powerful, and people are responding to me in a new way. If you're a guy walking through life feeling frustrated that you don't get the love, respect, and sex you deserve, you owe it to yourself to read this book.
Glover encourages the individual to take an assertive role in getting his needs met. He does not mince words, and says outright "you are the only person responsible for meeting your own needs." And the best way to make sure this happens is to take the direct route: express outright and honestly what it is you want, make your own needs a priority, and then pursue them (or ask for help). This is, of course, sound and commonsense psychology.Read more ›
A lot of it is not for everyone. The book very specifically it targets males who seek approval from others (mostly women) for all the wrong reasons, and seeks to help them overcome this unhealthy behavior. Part of the book describes common approval-seeking behaviors, part of it goes into the (mostly Freudian) psychology behind why the author thinks that some men behave this way, and part of the book gives exercises with which to help Nice Guys get over their problem and get what they want from life. There are plenty of real-men examples, too, to compare yourself against.
One of the fundamental premises behind being a Nice Guy is that you feel that something is inherently wrong with you and your life and there is something that you must do or find or something out there that will make your life work somehow. If that describes the way you think, by all means buy this book. If not, you can still get some good use out of the common approval-seeking behaviors and psychology stuff. It's interesting to see how many people out there really do things for approval.
The method to get over it works, if you can make yourself do it. It's not an easy thing to deal with. I know.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I purchased this on my Ipad and read it. I started reading this because I started dating this girl and I was doing everything perfect (her words) and yet she couldn't figure out... Read morePublished 1 day ago by Ryan
I didn't realize that I had Nice Guy Syndrome, but after reading this book I was able to change it. I have become more empowered since reading this book. Read morePublished 2 days ago by Dylan Madden
This book has a great deal of info and has really opened my eyes to things I do wrong. It is worth a read.Published 11 days ago by Kevin Clance
Excellent, read it several times and I just keep getting more out of it.Published 16 days ago by Michael Clark
it changed me for sure. i will definitely recommend this book to others. many new key insights that i would not have figured out on my own.Published 17 days ago by Alex
Every man should read this book.
Never have I learnt so much about myself.
I have just started reading it again and "doing it for real"
I can tell before I... Read more
Codependent? Grab this one guys and break that killer habit before you'r completely "fixed". Some ideas may be a bit aggressive but who's world do you want to live out????Published 23 days ago by s t scott