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The Amazon Book Review
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I ran across this book by accident and of course the title caught my attention. After reading the reviews and an excerpt I thought this would either be the funniest book ever or a waste of $[...] for the ebook. The idea is classic! The thought process, not so much. JHHK has the right idea but since this is self published there are numerous grammatical errors which DO make it hard to follow when you have incomplete sentences and misspellings. Also, is seems to be from the viewpoint of a high school kid from the 80s who refers to himself as "badass" several times per page. Again, the idea behind the book is fantastic. But it's as though JHHK tries too hard to be offensive (which definitely has it's place with this topic) and was just making up words to fill the pages instead of letting the humor and absurdity of the subject unfold naturally. It's the difference between the teenage nephew who tries his best to shock everyone but comes off as an immature and flat and Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, or Eddie Murphy who are offensive but leave you rolling on the floor in spite of it.
Reading this book is like watching an R-rated Hollywood sex comedy, except the whole time you're inside the head, experiencing the thoughts, of the Vince Vaughn character.
I picked up this book as a gag gift for a friend, because it's cheap, and the title is sweet. My first thought was: what the hell is this?
It turns out it's a book of advice, to men, from the Guru of Manliness (a satiric character) inside the structure of how to put your woman on a diet, self-help book.
I read the thing twice before I gave it away, and then I got a copy for myself, which I now leave on the coffee table whenever people come over.
Having digested it all, I can only conclude this "Guru" is Monstrous. There are sentences in here, which, as a man, I might think, but I would never dare to speak, much less write down on paper, to be read by millions.
In fact, try reading this book out loud, to a group, with a straight face, without laughing. It's physically impossible.
But don't be fooled. This is not really a diet book, and it's not really erotica, but it's not entirely satire. There's actual, helpful, practical dieting, dating, and body-shaping advice, it's just slathered with a profane, unashamedly sexual, angry male point-of-view. Also it has a plot!?!
It's a bizarrely effective hybrid, almost like an R-Rated Hollywood Sex Comedy. Reading the thing is like hulking out to King Kong, biting the heads off of hot screaming naked women, and then thumping your chest in a manly fashion. It's impolite, but it sure is cathartic.
(And not recommended for toddlers.)
Oh, and the last three pages, after a book's worth of build-up, ends with what has to be considered the single funniest joke in the history of the english language.
The All-Sex Diet was the original title. (From the author's blog, which I read only for the nudity.) Mr. King's editor, the woman who owns the indie press that published this, changed it to the more "market-friendly" title above. I like both. I mention this, because this is a sex book. I gave a copy to my grandma for christmas, but you might not want to gag one to yours.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jack H. H. King is an American playwright, screenwriter, novelist, known for his his hard prose and his twelve-inch subtext. His books include `War Of The Amazons', `How To Put Your Woman On A Diet', and the upcoming `Denise Milani Should Marry Me'. Don't visit his blog, ASK JHHK, if you dislike singing nipple tricks.
SATIRE / THRILLER
Why does a diet book have action sequences? That is not the question. Why don't all diet books have action sequences? That is the question. How do you hide a third-world dictator's car keys? How do you fashion a handlebar mustache disguise out of your own torn-out pubic hair? How do you get Christopher Walken to officiate a lesbian wedding? Jack H. H. King has the answers to all of life's greatest questions. Including... How To Put Your Woman On A Diet. Plus it comes with ten easy recipes to naturally increase breast size.
The jokes work. The plot screams at a page-ripping pace. King plays jedi mind tricks with the language, grammar, punctuation, fragmentation, dialogue, that put you in his mindset. It's almost poetic, but very very raw. The subtext clicks the second time. Cons within cons within cons. Not one plot twist did I predict in advance. Some of them shocking. I'm not particularly dumb, but who knows.Read more ›
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Wow...I think that there is a reason that the author did not put his name - he would be on every woman's hit list. All I can say is that his pectorals had better be perfect, his *ss edible and his belly flat.