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No Regrets: A Ten-Step Program for Living in the Present and Leaving the Past Behind Paperback – December 19, 2003

ISBN-13: 978-0471212959 ISBN-10: 0471212954 Edition: 1st

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No Regrets: A Ten-Step Program for Living in the Present and Leaving the Past Behind + Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: Overcoming Regrets, Mistakes, and Missed Opportunities + Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (December 19, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471212954
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471212959
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #365,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

At last, freedom from burdensome regrets

Everyone has regrets. But not everyone can overcome them, even when they interfere with the enjoyment of life. With this book as your guide, you’ll learn how to let go of past mistakes, lost opportunities, and failed expectations to live richly in a present filled with hope and new possibilities.

This wise, compassionate, and practical guide offers profound insights into the nature of regrets and how to overcome them. Grounded in proven psychotherapeutic and spiritual principles, No Regrets brings together the insights of mental health professionals, spiritual teachers, and self-help experts.

In No Regrets, you’ll find:

  • A structured ten-step program for letting go of burdensome regrets
  • Powerful spiritual and psychological tools for overcoming regret, including creative visualization, journaling, affirmations, thought analysis, meditation, and sharing with others
  • Insights into toxic thought patterns that create and support regrets
  • Persistent myths about forgiveness that keep us trapped in our regrets
  • Inspiring stories of people who have freed themselves from regret

No Regrets will show you a way out of the pain, guilt, and shame of the past and how to create a rich and rewarding life in the present.

"Hamilton Beazley has the distinct ability to understand the most complex inner workings of the human spirit and mind. No Regrets is destined to take its place alongside the other great self-help guides of our time."
–Howard J. Shaffer, Ph.D., Associate Professor and Director
Division on Addictions, Harvard Medical School

About the Author

Hamilton Beazley, Ph.D., is scholar-in-residence at St. Edward’s University, Austin, Texas; former associate professor in the Department of Psychology at The George Washington University; and a leading self-help expert who has appeared on Oprah, A Current Affair, NBC, and CNN.

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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See all 17 customer reviews
This is an important and unique book about letting go of regrets.
Beazley uses personal stories of his own as well as others he's encountered to show in example how many of the items and steps can work.
FrKurt Messick
I haven't read too far into the book --- it's a lot of work which I guess will bring good results - we can only wait to see.
Patricia S. Felton

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful By FrKurt Messick HALL OF FAMETOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on October 21, 2005
Format: Paperback
We live in a world in which twelve-step programmes abound, and worthy and worthwhile as they are, in fact there is nothing sacred about the number twelve that means every process must follow the same number of steps. Perhaps this is a minor observation with which to start, but I did find as I looked through the ten-step programme of Hamilton Beazley that the process is fairly complete, not really lacking in any particular step, and applaud Beazley for not trying to force his system into twelve steps, for the twelve-step anonymous programmes are something different in many ways.

This is a book about the past, about how the past impacts our lives and how we can more clearly see what it is we should hold fast to, and what we should let go. The title and the text often use the term 'regrets', but in fact this is as much about forgiveness as it is about regret - regret is often our inability to forgive ourselves, our situation, or some other aspect of our past, and forgiveness is a difficult practice.

I use the word 'practice' here, because it is an important concept that Beazley incorporates fully into his work - the ten-step process is a multi-layered practice for overcoming regret and both practicing and embodying forgiveness. So often we treat the idea of forgiveness as if it is something that is easy to do, and something that is a one-off occurrence. Sometimes we may have convinced ourselves that in fact we have forgiven or let go of a long-standing hurt, only to find it resurface at inopportune and inappropriate times.

'While we cannot change a past event, we can change our reaction to it, our understanding of it, and what we do with it.
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24 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Ghostdance on January 11, 2004
Format: Paperback
A must read. This is an important and unique book about letting go of regrets. It is important, because we all have regrets, and we know that they have the power to spoil our lives. This is the first book I know of that actually offers a practical program that shows people how to come to terms with regrets and how to let go of them so that they no longer have the power to hurt us. What really makes it unique, though, is that it is deeply thoughtful and filled with deep spiritual insight.
Although we may be willing to let go of our regrets, actually doing so involves a process which most of us have never learned. No Regrets is a guide to that process. It offers a practical pathway that anyone can follow. Along with the ten steps that make up the plan, there is a description of spiritual (not necessarily religious) and psychological tools to use and specific exercises to work in the journey. These include: visualization, journaling, self-examination, cognitive analysis, affirmations, prayer, meditation, and sharing with others. The program which the book presents doesn't have to be worked perfectly in order to be helpful.
The tone of the book is very warm, supportive, and encouraging. As you read the book you will feel that you are met along the path by a friend who knows the way and is guiding your steps around the rough places.
Ultimately, this is a book about how to forgive yourself and others. Could anything be more difficult? Yet, accomplishing these tasks holds the promise of enabling us to live free of shame, guilt, anger, resentments, and the pain caused by past events. Dr.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By James Green on February 14, 2005
Format: Paperback
A practical and unique method for eliminating regrets. The author's approach makes it clear that not only does he talk the talk, but he walks the walk as well.

Readers will discover many helpful strategies that will allow them to shed their regrets as if they were old clothes. This book is a valuable tool that can be used by anyone who is troubled by their past. James Green, author of "If There's One Thing I've Learned."
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30 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Jerry Saperstein HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on January 4, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The author pleads a mea culpa for his religiousity and claims that "[a]theists and agnostics, devoted followers of a religious tradition, and those whose sense of the spiritual embraces no specific form of worship will all find that the Ten Steps will work for them." Unfortunately, Beazley constantly refers to prayer or its synonyms, making it difficult for the non-religious. There are repeated references to "your higher power". That's a direct lift, I believe, from the AA program whose originators tried to minimize its religious aspect, but the fact remains that it is a call to prayer which secularists will find grating and perhaps even offensive.

Beazly is open about his emulation of the famous AA 12-step program. But there is a problem with some of his techniques, which seem rooted more pop psychology and its "feel good" mantras. For example, Beazley recommends writing "healing letters" to dead people you feel you've wronged. "The healing letter is like a creative visualization but on paper. It has the power to seem real and so to heal." Uh, the person you believe (and perhaps did) offend is dead. You are doing this to make yourself feel good.

This "feel good" approach pervades the book. In fact, the message boils down to forget about it - what's past is past. Good advice, but someone like Albert Ellis is much better, in my opinion, at delivering this message.

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