Customer Reviews

No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One

5 star:		(66)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

In a frantic attempt to understand the sudden suicide of my brother, I read numerous suicide related titles. Carla Fine's "No Time to Say Goodbye : Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One" was the only book which in anyway connected with my raw feelings as a survivor. It's not a great academic study of suicide. The professional, academic titles are painfully remote, inaccurate and inadequate from a survivor's perspective. "No Time to Say Goodbye:" doesn't answer the only question that matters most to survivors, "Why?". It provides a supporting context for the horrendous assault on a survivor's emotional and intellectual resources following a loved one's suicide. Knowing that others feel the same things doesn't make the pain go away, but reassures that probably you too will survive what feels unbearable. I personally found this book more helpful that the visits to "professional" counselors. Some things in life have to be experienced, not studied, to be understood. Sadly the author has the painful real life credentials to understand and connect with survivors. From her own traumatic loss Carla Fine has provided a great measure of help in what appears to be a helpless situation.

I have recently lost my husband to suicide and have read many books on the subject trying to understand what happened. This book was very helpful because it was not a bunch of psycho-babble and statistics and research. It is the real-life experience of a woman who has been through it. I found myself reading entire passages that described the EXACT feelings I am having. I believe this book would be helpful to anyone who has suffered the devastation of suicide.

Carla leaves no stone unturned. She captures insights from the survivors from whose stories we can even gain a perspective on those that left us behind. She pointedly shows that tragically, oftentimes the signs are there yet for some reason whether it is by some form of unconscious denial or a cushioned buffer we just don't notice those signs enough to react in time to help our loved ones. Or so we may think! The common denominator is that survivors wear themselves down trying to figure it all out before realizing that the solution may never be clear. Acceptance and reconciliation with the self vis-a-vis this life-changing event are the first steps toward mourning and healing. The writing is exceptional. There was not one disappointing page. This was a well-planned, well-researched, well prepared, book. Every survivor will relate to something written there that seems to come out of our mind and flow into the pages of her book. A resource book and must read for every survivor of a suicide. Thank you to Carla Fine for your candor and honesty and for this gift to life for the ages.

I am lucky to have this book as the first book that was given to me after my boyfriend killed himself. I was searching for answers and experiencing a strange grief that I had no point of reference for. This book was my reference. It comforted me, identified with me exactly and covers the suvivors expereince so well, that I felt I was not alone. Not a small task! It also gave me hope for the future. Thanks to Carla Fine!

I lost my mom and my brother to suicide; my sister keeps trying. This book has done more than I thought possible to make me understand that the anger and guilt and anguish that I feel at my loss can be overcome. The stories the author shares put a voice to my own experiences as a survivor.

If you have been very recently traumatized by finding the body of your loved one, don't read this book. It starts out by talking about the details of her exact situation, how she found her husband, etc., and then seems to move on to details of other survivors' situations. I'm already irrationally terrified enough as it is, and reading these stories makes it worse. There is no help...at least not from what I could see - just story after detailed story. I had to put it down because I'm not in a place yet where I can handle this. Maybe somewhere in there is some advice, but I don't have what it takes to wade through all of the gory details to find the one line of help. All this book did for me was raise more questions that I really didn't need to think about, which sparked the trauma all over again.

Seriously. If you are like me and the suicide of your loved one is recent and you were traumatized by what you found, please don't read this. Reading other stories isn't going to help you - you need help in figuring out how to process the enormity of what has happened. Go to the asfp web site; see a therapist; or find a book that offers real solutions. And good luck....you will make it.

I purchased this book after reading many simular ones - none of them touching how I felt. This book - reached out - and grabbed me. It's so true - to how you feel, how your dealing - or not dealing. What a perfect book to help you though all that you are going through . .

Although I unfortunately HAD to read this book after my younger brother's suicide in June, 2002, I found it so very helpful, understanding and caring. I also listened to Carla Fine speak during a Suicide Presentation teleconference this past September. It made her book even more special. This book covers so many subjects that we ask ourselves everyday; although there are no "answers" for us; this book lets you know your not "alone" in your pain.

I found this book the best help from all the books I have read. It shows that suicide survivors are not alone in their quest for answers to their sudden loss. And the multitude of examples listed will give everyone an opportunity to identify with another person who has been through more or less the same ordeal. I would like to recommend this book above all the others that are listed under suicide survivors. It is sympathetic, understanding, and much more help than I ever anticipated.

Until my husband committed suicide, it was not a topic that I gave much thought to. Since then, I've been consumed with all of the issues that survivors face. I am greateful that this is the first book I read on survivors. I could identify with so many of the topics discussed. It has helped a lot knowing that I am not alone and that the things I am going through are normal. Survivors definitely go through a very unique grieving process and Carla Fine expresses it with the understanding that only a survivor can have.