No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men [Paperback]

Mary Susan Miller Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 8, 1996

DOES YOUR PARTNER . . .
* have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
* become jealous without reason?
* prevent you from seeing friends and family?
* deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards, or the car?
* control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
* insult you or call you derogatory names?
* humiliate you in front of your children?
* turn minor incidents into major arguments?
If you or someone you know can answer "yes" to the questions above, chances are you are suffering from nonphysical battering--controlling, tyrannical behavior that is just as damaging to a woman's self-esteem as a broken bone or a black eye. An experienced counselor who works with abused women, Mary Susan Miller breaks the silence that surrounds this devastating form of domestic violence. She identifies the many types of nonphysical abuse verbal, emotional, psychological, social, and economic--and explores why this outrageous treatment of women continues unabated in our society.
Dr. Miller also shares the stories of many survivors who have escaped their abusive relationships. Their experiences--with law enforcement, the legal system, and the community itself--can help prepare any woman for the decision of whether to stay or leave the relationship. And if she decides to go, Dr. Miller offers sound guidelines on how to protect herself and her children, since a woman's decision to leave is usually the time she is in the most danger from her abuser.
Finally, Dr. Miller inspires hope: You can break free of the nightmare of nonphysical battering and heal, once again engaging in a life of integrity, dignity, and peace.

Editorial Reviews

Review

There have been plenty of titles written about physical spousal abuse: now appreciate an unusual focus on the emotional battery of women by men. Outlines of psychological, social and economic battery used in manipulation processes make for thought-provoking chapters on recognizing and acknowledging more subtle patterns of abuse. -- Midwest Book Review --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Inside Flap

DOES YOUR PARTNER . . .
* have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
* become jealous without reason?
* prevent you from seeing friends and family?
* deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards, or the car?
* control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
* insult you or call you derogatory names?
* humiliate you in front of your children?
* turn minor incidents into major arguments?
If you or someone you know can answer "yes" to the questions above, chances are you are suffering from nonphysical battering--controlling, tyrannical behavior that is just as damaging to a woman's self-esteem as a broken bone or a black eye. An experienced counselor who works with abused women, Mary Susan Miller breaks the silence that surrounds this devastating form of domestic violence. She identifies the many types of nonphysical abuse verbal, emotional, psychological, social, and economic--and explores why this outrageous treatment of women continues unabated in our society.
Dr. Miller also shares the stories of many survivors who have escaped their abusive relationships. Their experiences--with law enforcement, the legal system, and the community itself--can help prepare any woman for the decision of whether to stay or leave the relationship. And if she decides to go, Dr. Miller offers sound guidelines on how to protect herself and her children, since a woman's decision to leave is usually the time she is in the most danger from her abuser.
Finally, Dr. Miller inspires hope: You can break free of the nightmare of nonphysical battering and heal, once again engaging in a life of integrity, dignity, and peace.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (October 8, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449910792
• ISBN-13: 978-0449910795
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #172,834 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #61 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Domestic Violence

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

154 of 157 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book accurately describes and validates what I lived., November 10, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: No Visible Wounds: Identifying Nonphysical Abuse of Women by Their Men (Hardcover)

I found this book just by chance. What a fortunate accident! Miller's description of men just like my now-ex-husband amazed me. Even so, at first I considered the book kind of simple. Then the memories started coming back, from two decades of marriage. His cutting remarks and actions that left me emotionally lost suddenly made sense. My always-failing attempts to make myself better for him, to make our marriage and family better, suddenly looked preposterous. A year after reading this book, old memories still surface with a profound new perspective. No Visible Wounds is not at all simple. It is enormously enlightening and liberating. I highly recommend this book. I am giving it to my own parents, who still don't understand why I divorced him, who this cruel man (they think he's delightful and sincere) still has wrapped around his little finger.

55 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A manual for women who are victims of emotional abuse by men, November 20, 1998

By 

[e-mail] (New York City) - See all my reviews

This review is from: No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men (Paperback)

When I stumbled across No Visible Wounds, I felt I had found an ally in Mary Susan Miller. I have written my own book, Living On A Dream: A Marriage Tale, about my mother, a wife who fits the profile of the psychologically abused woman, as described by Dr. Miller. This book is a powerful one, a wake up call for many. Hers is a knowledgable voice about a subject that is rarely given the notice that it deserves. The problem of emotional battering has been overshadowed by the more visible problem of physical battering of women by men. No Visible Wounds is a hidden dilemma,and Mary Susan Miller's book is the important, and prehaps, the only qualitative book on the subject. Every woman should read this book, because it affects many, those who hide and deny, and those who know someone, a friend, or neighbor who lead lives of desperation. This book ranks alongside the other Dr. Miller's famous book, Alice Miller's Drama of the Gifted Child, a.k.a., Prisoners of Childhood.

64 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is essential for peopleraised in the United States, January 11, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: No Visible Wounds: Identifying Nonphysical Abuse of Women by Their Men (Hardcover)

As a counselor in the field of domestic violence, specifically working with women's groups, I feel I've finally found a thorough explanation of men's non-physical abuse of women in our society. Dr. Miller does a phenomenal job of peeling the onion, i.e. defining and explaining all the convoluted reasoning behind men who control women by any means necessary. Dr. Miller calls this behavior what it is ABUSE. She points out that we are socialized to deny and accept and cover up domestic abuse. My favorite line is her description of our society's response to domestic violence, including non-physical abuse, as one of "learned helplessness". This book is enlightening for those who work with women in abusive relationships, for the women themselves and for all of us living in a culture that creates, reinforces and perpetuates abuse against women.