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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
802 of 873 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Overdue and universally applicable,
By
This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)
This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women to say "Hey, I'm worth more than this and I'm not going to settle" which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard (and, as an unfortunate side effect, suffer) for everything in life - jobs, material possessions, etc - and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be.
The authors have really stumbled on to something good here - what I took away from this book and will continue to remember is that life is too short to pine for things that aren't meant to happen. Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that - if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra - it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.
225 of 255 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Don't bother,
By South Asian Book Worm (Atlanta, GA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)
Most of what the male author of this book states is common sense. E.g. "a cheating man is bad", "If he doesn't call you, ask you out, sleep with you, he isn't into you". However--I hold great contention in how absolute the author in his assessment of men. He presumes all men work the same, and that's just not true.
In the book he gives an example of a girl dating a man who's just come out of a divorce. He's told her that he's not ready to get into a serious relationship right now because he just got out of one--makes complete sense. The author's assessment? "He's just not that into you". Are you kidding me? He says that if a man likes you, he will do what it takes to keep you in his life--he's knows a jewel when he sees one. So are you saying that the fact that he just came out of a broken wedlock couldn't possibly have left him with hesitations about entering into another long term relationship so soon regardless of the girl? Give me a break. The author also says that if a man wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to get you. I strongly disagree. Take a look at the (male) author of this book, he's a self-proclaimed "bad boy", who we may deduce was probably pretty cocky when it came to dating. I'm guessing (as per the "bad boy stereotypical formula") that he had no problems approaching and pursuing women. The thing is though Mr. Author-man, not all men are created the same. Some men are shy. Some men genuinely have baggage. Some men need a little encouragement because their last few attempts have falled flat. I agree that the male should do a lot of the pursuing, but I don't think the girl needs to sit back and allow herself to be led at the will of the guy. That's simply ridiculous. The black and white "If he doesn't do 'x', then he's not into you" is way too simplistic, and it's a mindset that could potential ruin a perfectly good relationship if followed. I do feel that some women make too many excuses for the way men treat them--and this book should shed light on them. However, I caution them to read with a grain of salt because not all men are of the type the author write about. I'm suspect when a non-expert writes so-called "expert" books. There's definitely something to be said having formal education training --you understand that humans are complex beings composed of many different experiences, emotions, and opinions that form the way they react in a relationship setting. My advice (and this is free!): Be yourself, relax, and don't try too hard to get someone to like you. Recognize the common sense warning signs, and never stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy 95% of the time.
342 of 391 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
This is so WRONG -- what about shy guys?!?,
By
This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)
Disclaimer - I've only looked at the first third of this book. What I did look at was ALL WRONG.
The author breezily explains to women that if a guy was interested in you, he would make a move. That's it. Every single time. I'll let you in on a secret. Most guys are actually terrified of women... or more specifically, terrified of rejection. This is especially true if you have an ongoing relationship (whether a business relationship, same circle of friends, etc.) where he will have to "revisit" his rejection repeatedly. For some men, asking a woman out is tantamount to a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. It makes them THAT nervous, or even MORE nervous. At least with a proposal, the guy has some idea of what answer to expect. I used to be like this. Women would literally pull me aside and tell me what a great guy I am. I didn't have confidence in my attractiveness, so I didn't realize they were actually telling me they LIKED me. A LOT. I really did think they were telling me they really dig me as a friend. As a result -- I never did anything. (AAAAAAUGGGGHHHHH!!!!) I don't have this problem anymore. But... I definitely do see this in a lot of guys. Perhaps the world the author lives in is full of confident guys. That's why I give this 2 stars instead of 1... I'm giving him a slight benefit of the doubt. I'm not done yet though ... here's an added twist... The more a guy likes you (I'm talking to the women reading this), in some cases he may actually be less likely to ask you out. He values you too much to risk messing things up. So... this book is WRONG in the majority of cases, in my experience. Buy a flirting book instead, to give him signals so he'll have some degree of confidence he won't be rejected. That's what flirting is for. My advice -- find out a little bit about his dating experience. If he hasn't had many girlfriends, he's shy. If he HAS had many girlfriends, then MAYBE this book will apply.
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