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Nobody's Child Anymore: Grieving, Caring and Comforting When Parents Die Paperback – October 1, 2000


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The Next Happy: Let Go of the Life You Planned and Find a New Way Forward
When the best option is to let go of the life you planned for yourself and find a new path, a world of possibilities can surprisingly open up.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A wealth of spirit-lifting wisdom that readers will feel compelled to share with friends in need."
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 127 pages
  • Publisher: Sorin Books; First Edition edition (October 1, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1893732215
  • ISBN-13: 978-1893732216
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.3 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #342,861 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

In my twenties, I was happily married to a Navy fighter pilot; a stay-at-home mom of three small children. When John's plane went down during a combat mission, my life--and my children's lives-changed forever.

Widowed at 29, I went back to college, earned a Master's Degree in Creative Writing, and moved my little family from San Diego to Kansas City to become a writer for Hallmark Cards.

Frankly, those were difficult years. But even in dark moments, I discovered that God provides grace to give us strength and courage--sometimes in surprising ways. I began writing and speaking about how to stay faith-filled in the face of life-altering change.

I have experienced the death of a spouse, divorce, children's special needs, losing a job, providing care to older parents, parents' deaths, and a serious personal illness (which, thankfully, healed), so I feel a deep empathy for others' life transitions. It has influenced my writing and speaking.

I was touched by this statement from a former Editor-in-Chief of Readers Digest: "Barbara's stories have changed the lives of untold numbers of our readers."

But how about this title? It's from an essay my grandson Jake wrote in seventh grade:
"My seminar-giving, spiritual-writing, bicycle-riding, super-Grammy."

Now who could ask for a better endorsement than that?

Customer Reviews

I read this book in about an hour and a half.
Vanessa E. Horning
Once I read this book, I realized that all of the things I was feeling were completely normal.
Marie Donnelly
I would highly recommend this for anyone going through the grief process.
Akita Mom

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

65 of 65 people found the following review helpful By Ms. Kathryn Houseman Lobert on August 4, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My 88 year old dad died January 8, 2003. Although I was unable to look at his picture for a couple of months, I thought I was "handling it" just fine. Besides, although my mother was also suffering from dementia, she was obviously aware that Daddy was gone and I needed to concentrate on her. Then on May 7, 2003, Mama died - and I began to grieve. It was almost like losing them both the same day. I guess as long as my mother was still here, I still felt a connection to my dad as well. I never expected to hurt so badly. They were 88, in extremely poor health and had not been like the parents I had known for quite some time. But now they are gone.Even knowing this was coming and being 50 years old myself, I was still devastated. After I had finished everything with the memorial service and everyone had gone home, I began to realize how very bereft I was. I felt foolish having so much grief - after all, they were old and sick, better off now, etc., all of the usual platitudes. I have a strong religious faith and have no questions as to where they are now. I did not want them to continue suffering. And yet, I missed my mom and dad. I first read "The Orphaned Adult," which was extremely helpful and which I recommend. But I still seemed to be sadder than I thought I should be for a person losing parents later in life. I could no longer sleep through the night, if I got to sleep at all. I had thought about ordering this book for a while, but felt I was being too self indulgent. Finally I gave in and I am so thankful I did. Ms. Bartocci hit me "right where I lived." She put words to my sadness and gave me the permission to "still" feel sad. She describes grief as individual to each of us, which made me feel less of a "freak." As I said, I am not a "group help" person.Read more ›
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48 of 49 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 11, 2000
Format: Paperback
Barbara Bartocci addresses an issue that baby boomers will soon face: the death of their parents. For many, unprepared to become the "older generation," the experience will be traumatic. It may also be an opportunity for spiritual growth. Barbara uses personal experience (she has lost many loved ones) and discussions with others to point up a wide range of reactions-from feeling a parent has died "too young," to grief that lasts beyond the "acceptable" period of time, to guilt arising out of relief at the passing. She validates all these emotions and gives valuable insights, as well as warm, sometimes humorous advice. In a sense, NOBODY'S CHILD ANYMORE can be used as a handbook. It is a practical reference as well as an uplifting lesson for difficult times.
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 23, 2002
Format: Paperback
When I was 12 years old, my father died six weeks after a massive heart attack. A month ago, four days before my 34th birthday, my mother died suddenly. I'm a late-comer and my siblings are a much older than me. They have their families. I have my career. Although my religious beliefs give me peace, there is still an immense sadness. I am not yet married, my beloved will never know my wonderful parents. Any children I may have will never know their maternal grandparents. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, so this causes me grief for what my children who aren't even born yet have lost.
This book is wonderful and helped me to understand different feelings that I've been having and let me know that these feelings are not unique.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Vanessa E. Horning on April 29, 2002
Format: Paperback
It is a "must read" for people who have lost a parent. I read this book in about an hour and a half. I could not put it down. It tuned in to a lot of how I was feeling after I lost my mother. After I read it, I realized some of the reasons I felt so lost. I knew I felt lost, I just couldn't explain it. The only thing I didn't like about it was it didn't spend much time addressing only children. I am an only child and most of the book spoke to people with siblings.
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 21, 2003
Format: Paperback
This is a really sweet little book but not quite what I was looking for. It was somewhat comforting to read about other people's experiences and how they felt when they're older parent(s) passed away but I guess I was and still am looking for something different. I just recently lost my dear father in a terrible accident but he was not old and he was very healthy. This book deals more with parents dying quite old and ill. Just not for me and my situation.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Kar Dell on May 24, 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
It helped me with the loss of my father. It helped me to read the stories of what other people have gone through and what they felt. It helped me come to accept that the range of emotions I am feeling is normal.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Nora E Richard on October 26, 2001
Format: Paperback
We Americans tend to avoid the subject of death, yet most of us will have to face the death of a parent. Barbara Bartocci has provided a sensitive and practical how-to for the grief process. I particularly like how she uses real situations of people she knows to provide the backdrop for wise suggestions for how to grieve, or at least understand the different ways in which the grief impacts our actions, thoughts and sometimes beliefs. I have given this book to at least six family members or friends who have lost a parent in the past year. All have told me how much this book has helped them to understand and cope with feelings they didn't realize were impacting them with such force. I suggest those who minister to the bereaved keep copies of this book to lend or give.
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