Customer Reviews

Not Child's Play: An Anthology on Brother-Sister Incest

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This line in Risa Shaw's complex and beautifully-composed anthology on brother-sister sexual abuse perfectly captures the power of this little gem of a book.

Shaw has collected the voices and art of 35 survivors, and she let's them speak up and out in complex and non-homogenized ways. The editing for this volume is beautiful, as the brief pieces are clear but not in any way standardized in content or form. Here you will meet women who explode with unequivocal rage, stories of girls who told and girls who kept quiet, families who stopped it and (many more) families who didn't, women who have patiently and lovingly cultivated honest adult relationships with their former abusers, women whose demands for truth have cost them their families, and women whose deeply complicated and ambivalent memories make room simultaneously for shame, hurt, fear, and pleasure.

I do not *agree* with every analysis that's offered in this book, but why should I? There is such a glorious chorus of smart voices here that invites a great new level of discussion to commence on this severely under-discussed topic. For example, Margaret Randall writes "Brother-sister incest is not about sex. It is not about pleasure. It is about power, pure and simple" (foreword, p. 2). I think that's too simple - I read many of the pieces in the book as demonstrating how brother-sister sexual abuse is so damaging precisely because it IS about sex and pleasure at the same time that it is about power. Deep, systematic power imbalances distort both girls' and boys' experiences of pleasure and sexual development. I welcome the opportunity to have this discussion, finally! Brava to Risa Shaw and the many contributors. And one additional note: the book is worth it for the Action Girl Figures alone. Simply brilliant!

This anthology is an amazing work. After decades of silence about the issue of brother-sister incest, we finally have a book that is as inspiring as it is informative. The anthology includes writing and artwork drawn from 35 women. This is not a book about victims. It is a book about survivors-- about strong women who learned to say no, who learned to speak out against this often-ignored form of violence in hopes that future generations of children could be protected.

I found the book an exhilerating roller-coaster ride of emotions, ranging from raw, unbridled anger, to eventual healing and a sense of wholeness. This is a book written for everyone. It includes powerful short stories, poetry, and visual artwork. It will make you angry, it will make you sad, and it will leave you in awe at the resilence of the human spirit. But the one thing it won't do is leave you untouched.

I first heard about this wonderful book from a male friend who thought it might help me come to terms with my abusive past. I had just started therapy and was almost afraid to read it, so it sat on my desk for awhile. Yes, the emotions this book brought out in me were extremely strong, it brought back a lot of pain and sorrow but the most positive thing it did for me was to make me realize that I was not alone...these women had similar histories but they survived, WERE survivors and were able to voice their feelings.

Never having been a fan of poetry before, imagine my surprise when I began writing my own poems - some very short, some long but all emotional, heartwrenching and true. For the first time, I was able to put in black and white some of those feelings that I had bottled up for almost 40 years. As many survivors will tell you, it's so much easier to ignore your feelings so you don't have to deal with them...or the reasons behind them, but "easy" isn't necessarily healthy or constructive. Shutting down emotionally may dull the pain and make it so we can get through each day but it won't help anyone heal.

This small book inspired me to explore my own feelings, feel the pain but also know that THIS pain would help me heal and to deal with my past, to understand it and to recover from it. It's an often misused word, but I would consider this book to be the most "empowering" of any that I have yet to read on childhood sexual abuse.

May every abuse survivor find their own true voice.


I call my shortest poem, "Growing Up":

In many ways, I grew up too fast,
In some ways, I never grew up at all.
I want to grow old on MY terms.

I am so greatful to Risa Shaw and the numerous authors of Not Child's Play for sharing a part of themselves with me. Brother-sister incest must be brought out in the open, and steps must be taken for it to be prevented. In sharing their stories, these women ensure that readers will do everything in their power to make sure this doesn't happen to any little girl they know. These women of strength are a catalyst for healing, for education and an inspiration to millions of women and girls out there. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to read what true strength is in this world. Thank you Lunchbox Press!

Finally, a book that puts a human face on brother-sister incest, so often brushed off as "normal" or hidden as something that "can't be bad, it happens all the time." As a survivor, I found this book extremely helpful and validating of my feelings, and bought two more--one to share with my family and one to share with friends. Thank you, Lunch Box Press, for this creative anthology that recognizes courageous sisters, speaks for many of us who are "hushed," and empowers our younger sisters to break this abuse.

In recent years, more and more information has been made available on the epidemic of childhood sexual abuse. However, despite the proliferation in professional and self-help literature on the topic, there are still important gaps, and Shaw's book represents an empowering attempt at addressing one of those gaps. There is little information out there on sibling abuse, even though studies have shown that it is likely even more common than adult-child abuse. Shaw's anthology gives voice to survivors of brother-sister incest. The writings and visual art of survivors underline the catastrophic effects this particular kind of childhood sexual abuse has on the victims, yet, they also show the immense amount of resilience and strength in the women who contributed to the book.

The stories can be triggering to read, but at the same time they finally provide recognition of a type of abuse that so often goes unnoticed. This is an immensely important and empowering book.

So this book is supposedly this great masterpiece, describing how brother-sister incest is all about how the brother is basically raping/abusing the sister, and how the sister has struggled with this horrible tragedy.

Bullcr*p. First of all, not all brother-sister incest is initiated by an older, dominating brother. It can, in fact, be the result of an older, dominating *sister*, who ends up raping/abusing her younger brother. Second of all, although no one wants to admit it, there are cases of incest where both parties actually are *willing participants* in what happens. No rape or abuse, just some *horribly inappropriate* choices made by two young people who do not know any better.

This book chooses to ignore those scenarios in order to promote its "men are evil" stance on incest. This is fine if all you are looking for is stories that help to "prove" your anti-male feelings. But if you are trying to find a book that takes a fair and unbiased look at brother-sister incest, and how it can be hurtful or damaging to both the brother and/or the sister involved, then this is not your book.

I'm no fan of poems and I have to admit that most of them I did not read ... however, the introduction of this book gave me insights I did not have before, the stories people share and especially also the paintings triggered me tremendously to go one step further, to look deeper. It is a fantastic book for all concerned and those who want to understand that brother-sister incest really has a devastating effect and is not child's play at all.

I bought it for a lady I know. I had a crush on her. I purchased the book on 25th of September 2010 and had it rushed to Australia. On Monday 27th at midnight, I got a SMS message from her. Then I phoned back. She said on this occasion and on other times that she should be over the abuse from her Brother. She then told me she had taken over 50 tablets.

I phoned the Ambulance. She had several resusitations, but died on Tuesday.

Im heartbroken. I only knew her 5 weeks, but I felt a strong affection as we both had depression.

Now I have the book and for her its too late. I read a little, but it wasnt for me .
(I should have clicked the gift tag)

Still this is a result of this and other nasty events in her life.

She had those beautiful blue eyes.

Its cruel

The book is very small with a few pictures from victims included. I was upset to find pages 1,4,5,6,8,9,12,13,16,17 missing! The pages were there but were blank...<?>

Not a very professional job by Lunchbox Press. Looks like a home-cooked publisher. I bought the book for my wife who can't make much sense out of it due to the missing pages. I hope to get a complele copy or a refund from Amazon or Lunchbox Press soon...

...Richard C. Anderson