Customer Reviews

Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived

5 star:		(31)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Peter Barton was my son-in-law and continually surprised me by always seeing the "big" picture while I (like most of us) wallowed in the details of life. He wrote it with Laurence Shames after learning of an impending, untimely death.

He was an extraodinarily creative person, always able to see the context of every situation. Life rewarded him well financially but, most of all, with an uncanny sense of where we fit in the course of our lives.

This book is filled with large-scale insights, many of which will be useful to each of us. Even knowing him, I found the book a worthwhile read. I personally grew from the "read," as I'm sure you will. It may reset your values as well as your expectations regarding living.

Laurence Shames is skillful not only with words but also with conveying ideas. His book reads very well.

It's hard to describe the mixture of emotions that accompany reading this masterful book by Laurence Shames and Peter Barton. It was Barton's knowledge of his impending death that was the impetus for the book. Barely fifty, with young children, a happy marriage and tons of money, Barton chose to face his mortality through leaving a memoir. Shames became Barton's collaborator, co-author, interpreter and ultimately friend. There are moments of humor, heartbreaking sadness and revelation. It would be impossible to read this book without evaluating your own feelings toward life and death, family, friends, happiness and setting the right priorities for yourself. It's a brave and beautiful book that shouldn't be missed.

This book is about the life and death of Peter Barton, a very successful entreprenour who lived life fully, yet died early at the age of 51 from stomach cancer.
This story is told in alternative chapters by Barton and Laurence Shames, a writer who befriended Barton at the end of Barton's life in order to help him express his feelings and emotions about his impending death.
This small book contains very big ideas. Barton makes you understand how being wealthy doesn't automatically give you the best medical care, and it certainly doesn't protect you against death. He brings home in this very personal way how health and family are the things that are important, and that the end of life is a complicated, individual experience, full of reflection and introspection.
I thought that it was "gutsy" and generous of Barton to want to share his experiences with the world, and one gets the impression from the book that that is the kind of individual he was.
When you finish - you can do it easily in a few hours - you are left appreciative of the things that you normally take for granted, and can briefly try to comprehend the concept of living in the moment.
I say briefly because, alas, I think we are hardwired not to be able to live our lives the way Peter Barton did at the end of his life...living in the here and now and giving up the foolish pursuits that drive us daily. I think that is why books like this are important, so that we can read them and get back to what is important, and try to live our lives thinking about these issues and thus be "ready", when we face the end of our own lives.
Recommended, but I think I would have liked a little more information about Barton's illness and treatment although I understand that it was a conscious decision not to include that in the book.

One thing that attracted me to this autobiography was, the way that Peter Barton Embraced his life not only when he was healthy, but as well as when he was diagnosed with cancer. The way he describes the terrible side of cancer, and how it can easily put a person into an enormous depression. However, he chose to fight it and face up to it. He admits freely the fact that he was scared at times, but also grateful at others. Finally, his story will make you realise how wonderful life can be, even when the road gets tough. Unfortunately, Peter Barton is no longer among us, but I am sure that his story will show you, just how much he respected and loved every moment of his life. It is an honour for me to recommend this book to anyone who is looking for inspirational writing.

I have to say, I bought this somewhat expecting to be uplifted, and to gain some insight on life, death, dying. I'm not much for self-help type stuff, but the blurbs of a "life well lived" definitely appealed to me. I've always run full-tilt towards......whatever presented itself! Having just lost my dearest friend, and pooch, and being single in my early 30's (in LA, no less), heading home for T-day to take on aging grandparents with fading memory, crazy in-laws, etc.....
strangely enough, this was perfect for the plane ride back to LA. At times, I became a bit annoyed by the bad-boy swagger of Barton, yet I realized three hours into the flight that I had dog-eared more pages for later reference, insight, or raw truthfulness, than I normally do. If you can set aside a difference in lifestyles - because he truly lived a unique life - some of the insights and hindsights are truly raw and real. This is a strange book in that it's a good, easy read, with nuggets of wisdom that are absolutely blatant and brilliant. This seems to be someone who - maybe to some of his peers - didn't appreciate all that he had. Yet, reading this book, he clearly appreciated all the moments - good and bad, for what they were. And this book made me re-affirm my joy of leaving the airport and putting the top down on the car, cracking open a great bottle of wine, appreciating my neighbors: all things I do normally, but things I'll make sure never to take for granted.
Huh, not sure this is a good review, but it's the way the book made me feel. So, there you have it. It's good reading and good advising. Not so neatly wrapped up, but, maybe it's not supposed to be.

For Peter Barton, a maverick businessman whose career has been characterized by creativity and billion-dollar partnerships, the psychology of cancer was difficult to digest. Unlike most business agreements he has brokered in the media industry, the deal between a terminal patient and his cancer appeared to be a zero-sum game, and the forty-something year old media mogul struggled to bridge the disconnect.

Hardly a person to let death dictate the terms of his legacy, Barton preserved his insights on the matter before he left the living. As such, Not Fade Away -- Barton's chronicle of the last days of his life -- is an attempt at coming to terms with one's finality. The chapters switch back and forth from Barton's first-person narrative and the observations of Barton by a professional writer assigned to shadow the terminal patient during the last stages of his life.

Despite the subject matter, Not Fade Away is an uplifting read because even as death closes in around Barton, we see that life reveals itself in all its sublime beauty. Such a paradox, namely that death is infused with life, leads Barton to embrace both the fact of his imminent death and the ever-present life that surrounds him. Barton reformulates his understanding of the linear aspect of the past, present, and the future, and realizes their convergence and singularity. Just as death is a part of living, we are not fixed to a single point in time; the past, present, and the future are manifest in the now.

Although such notions are not terribly original, Barton's honesty and courage in sharing his innermost fears and doubts during the last days of his life provide a refreshing look at life, death, and perhaps what it means to "not fade away" in a language that resonates with timeless relevance.

Peter Barton spent his all-too-brief, brilliant life like a gambling addict let loose in a casino. He didn't taste experience --- he devoured it in great chomps and gulps of adventure, leaps in imagination, success in business ventures, and deep family commitment.

He played away his early years as an anti-war hippie, experiencing to the fullest extent the joys and freedoms of the 1970s. But by the time he reached that life altering, ominous "over thirty" hurdle, he began to think seriously about his future. He took a reality check, buckled down at Harvard Business School, and projected his enormous intellectual and physical energies into the world of ideas. As a visionary on the threshold of the cable television era, Barton co-founded Liberty Media, which pioneered with the Discovery Channel, Fox Sports, The Learning Channel, Black Entertainment Television, and STARZ.

Along the way to his meteoric success, Barton met and married his wife and started a family. Once he knew they were financially secure, having made some profitable stock market investments, he felt free to explore new horizons and stepped down as President of Liberty Media. Barton was about to launch a whole new career in the fledgling Internet sphere when life's ultimate reality check arrived via cell phone in the middle of a meeting with Yahoo executives in Silicon Valley. It was Barton's doctor calling from Denver. He had been ignoring a vague but persistent stomachache and had gone in for some tests. He remembers the call this way:

"'I need you to come to my office to discuss this with me. You have cancer.' Just like that. That terse, that quick; that casual. I don't remember getting up, but suddenly I'm standing. The Yahoo board of directors is staring at me. Maybe they understand that something bad has happened; maybe they're just wondering what could possibly be more important than going head to head with AOL."

Life is suddenly brought into sharp focus for Barton.

NOT FADE AWAY is narrated by Barton in collaboration with mystery writer and novelist Laurence Shames. It is a diary, a memoir and a biography. Shames, who didn't know Barton personally but was introduced to him by a mutual friend, says that Barton's first intent was to leave something of himself for his three children, ages 14, 11 and 9.

But as the relationship between the two men intensified during the last months of Barton's life, the idea behind the book grew to become much more. Shames saw the enormous humor and deep affection Barton felt for not just his family but for life, and he wanted to bring the depth of feeling that Barton was experiencing to the public --- not only his exuberance for life but his growing insights into himself as the inevitable drew near.

NOT FADE AWAY isn't a sad story or one filled with angst and foreboding. It is a story that deals with love, success, friendships, business relationships, war protests, the simple joys of parenting and the simple-minded joys of college pranks.

Barton jams with Sha Na Na, rock climbs at Robert Redford's Sundance Ranch, and deals craps in Vegas. He reminisces about his boyhood and relationship with his father, who also died young, and rejoices over the fact that he lived longer than him. He then writes of the self-discovery that arrives when one's mortality is brought sharply into focus. Almost reluctantly he discusses briefly the pain and encumbrances of illness, but he focuses on separating his mind from his demanding body, trying to prevent the physical wreck, which he likens to a rusted-out old car, from becoming who he really is. Barton fiercely denied to Shames early in their relationship that he was spiritual or religious. This amuses Shames, and as the process moves on, Barton's deep core of strength and belief in "something more" begins to shine through.

NOT FADE AWAY deals with life at its most glorious, and the end of life at its most transcendent. Perhaps readers of this often humorous, deeply honest, adventurous and courageous story will come away feeling as columnist Dave Barry did when he said, "Sooner or later, we'll all make the journey Peter Barton took; now, thanks to him, it doesn't look so scary."

--- Reviewed by Roz Shea

This book is one of my all time favorites. Peter Barton achieved more in a few decades than most people could hope for in a life time. This is an excellent read that will help put things in perspective; allow you to think more about your own life and what you've accomplished. Barton was not afraid to take chances and tells excellent stories of when he failed and succeeded. He is a true risk taker that had great success.

Barton comes right out and says...'I wrote this book for one reason, so my kids could grow up and know who their father was'. It was a great stress reliever to read this book and help think about the important things in life. The way Barton lived life with so much optimism and enthusiasm; you can't help but bring those same characteristics into your own life after you read this. This book is filled with so much wisdom and intelligence that you will realize Barton was a tremendously gifted man. More than anything Barton will help you appreciate the simple things in life we all take for granted every day. He lived a unique life and I was honored he shared it with us.
One of the few books I will continue to read in my own life.

Peter Barton may not be your model for a perfect life, he just lived his life to the fullest. Everyone should read this book and realize why they are here and what they should do with the time they have. Read it cover to cover in 4 hours, then did the same thing 2 days later. Couldn't put it down. Thanks Peter Barton and family and Laurence Shames for this story. I owe you one.

This is easily one of the most inspirational books I have read in a long time. Peter Barton was an extraordinary buisnessman, father, husband and friend...a man who knew how to make each day count and to challenge a terminal illness in a way that must have made his family so very proud of him. I highly recommmend this book to anyone and everyone!!!!