Customer Reviews

Not My Daughter

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(26)
3 star:		(19)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(16)

 

 

NOT MY DAUGHTER is a riveting story that confronts a subculture of teenage girls and their pact to become pregnant. Barbara Delinsky's tale is set in Zaganack, a small coastal town in Maine that serves as a microcosm of the social, political, economic and cultural landscape of our times. A company town for an upscale retailer, Zaganack is an old township of family ties and deep communal relations, and its values are reflected in that understanding. But this town will be challenged by the age-old question: What makes someone a "good mother?"

Susan, Kate, Sunny and Pam have been friends for a long time. As part-time co-workers, they even created PC Wool, a subdivision of the local retailer specializing in dyed wools, designs and patterns. Just as the mothers are close to one another, so are their four daughters, Lily, Mary Kate, Jess and Abby. The girls are all intelligent, popular and outstanding high school seniors whose mothers are anticipating them going forward with their education when they graduate.

At a mother-daughter evening out, Lily announces to her mother that she is pregnant. Susan, who became a single parent as a teen, is confounded by the news. She also learns that Lily is not the only one expecting --- Mary Kate and Jess are as well. Susan informs Lily's father, Rick, who has always been part of their lives but upon hearing this news decides to become more involved. When it is discovered that there has been a pact between the girls to become pregnant, the characters of each of the mothers and their relationships with their daughters are brought into question. How could this have happened to their smart and wonderful children?

For Susan, the high school principal, Lily's pregnancy has unintended consequences. Susan is faced with defending herself as both mother and principal as she too was an unmarried teenage mother. Her core principles are put to the test as she is criticized for being an unconvincing role model. Some parents and others question if this is history repeating itself.

As the town, school and businesses try to figure out the why, where and who surrounding the pregnancy pact, there are increasing calls for Susan's resignation. Will she keep her job? What about the girl's lives, their friendships and their babies? Is marriage something for all of them to consider? Each mother and daughter must evaluate their bond to one another and the new lives growing inside the young women.

Barbara Delinsky's latest novel reminds this reviewer just how powerful a story --- even a fictional one --- can be. She has captured through her characters and their difficulties some of the social and cultural fabric of our times. This tale reflects the struggles that teen pregnancy creates for the mother-daughter bond, female and family relationships, and their professional and community lives. Delinsky's characters are like friends you might know, and with her uncanny ability to tell a story, you won't be able to wait to turn the page.

With realistic dialogue, credible characters and defining values, NOT MY DAUGHTER is one worth bringing to your book club or using in a discussion with family and friends.

--- Reviewed by Jennifer McCord

I couldn't make it through. It sounds like it was written from the point of view of a 6th grader. Three best friends DECIDE they want to intentionally get pregnant and all three then announce it to their parents as if they just won the elementary school spelling bee and they're SHOCKED that their parents are unhappy. But the kicker is, the parents act like their daughters just lost an elementary school spelling bee and instead of treating it like what it is -- three extremely selfish, manipulative, shallow, and irresponsible girls taking it upon themselves to ruin their own lives, the lives of the men they so casually slept with, and the lives of the poor innocent children they're about to bore -- they end up bellyaching for page after page about what this all means and what ever will become of their reputations, their jobs, what people will think.

I'm sorry, but these parents should have been beyond LIVID at what these girls did. I'm never in favor of parents disowning their children, but come on! What parent in his or her right mind would be so cavalier about this? No screaming? No "who the hell raised you?" No "I didn't raise a young woman so selfish and self-involved as this"? None of that? It was more of a "well, what can I do now?" kind of attitude. I found it hard to swallow.

The dialogue was hard to get, frankly, but even more disappointing was the relationships. I expected a true mother/daughter story with strong emotions and scenes I could visualize in my mind. Instead, half the book was about the girls with their heads in the clouds and the other half was the mothers trying to cover it up with ridiculous dilemmas like "should I out the other girls or should I not?"

Anyway, I was disappointed in what I got.

I purchased this book based on the many 4 & 5 stars rating and this was the first time that I have read anything from this author. To put it bluntly - this book was awful. The story is unrealistic, has a total pro-life approach ( which is fine but come on lets be realistic and not so in your face ) and was so sappy, predictable that I finished it only because I had purchased it for my kindle and gave it the benefit of the doubt that it MIGHT get better but - it didn't. It reminded me of a teen soap opera.

I had high hopes when starting this book. The topic was timely, right out of the headlines -- the plot mimicking the Gloucester, MA pregnancy pact. Four high school girls decide that they are going to get pregnant together and thus support each other through the ordeal. The girls are but 17, high school seniors, and all seemed extremely immature despite the author telling us constantly that these were honor students and exemplar leaders of their class.

I was disappointed in this novel because of the ultimately rosy picture painted of this whole pregnancy situation. Despite the fact that the parents suffer because of the girls' decisions, the result is that the girls end up having it quite nice at the end -- just the way they planned. The parents capitulate and support them financially and physically. There really seems to be no bad repercussions to their stupid decision to get pregnant, and the "happy happy" ending really irritated me. it all just tied up nicely -- nobody lost their jobs or their reputation or anything substantial despite all that happened. I thought the parents of the pregnant teens were rather "too supportive and helpful" and that the girls were never made to accept total responsibility for their poor decision. Deciding to get pregnant, and not involving the father, is selfish and very immature. This was not really emphasized.

That said, the novel purports to examine what it means to be a "good mother" or good parent. I think this was the only redeeming concept -- however, most of us who are parents realize that we can't control what our children end up doing and the decisions they make regardless of how vigilant or how strict we are. All we can hope is that our kids don't make decisions that are unfix-able should they be the wrong choices!

All in all, I won't be recommending this book. Skip it.

I've read a few Barbara Delinsky books and found them to be alright, but this one was a real struggle to finish. The plot is completely unrealistic and the characters spent so much time wringing their hands about these selfish girls' "situations" that I did not care at all what happened to them by the end. Even when Delinsky threw in the slight "twist" about something being wrong with Lily's baby, it still wasn't enough for me to sympathize with her after reading about all her selfish decisions and thought processes in the beginning of the book. The drama over whether or not Susan would keep her job was also over the top and silly. Delinsky barely skimmed over the legal reprucussions Susan could have if this sort of unlikely situation ever took place in real life.

I too, was bored by the ridiculously monotonous passages detailing the women dying their yarn. If the yarn was supposed to be some sort of metaphor for what they were going through in the novel I didn't get it. That is the only reason I could think of for Delinsky mentioning it ad naseum. Anyways, skip this book if you don't want to be bored, it comes off as a poor man's Jodi Picoult novel.

This was my first Barbara Delinsky book and the first time I have felt compelled to review a book. First of all, I gave this book three stars because I liked it well enough to finish it. Also, it was a book that was easy and quick to get into. However, it was not a real "page turner" until far into the book. The conflict was exposed at the beginning, so a great deal of the book was simply reaction, leaving me with no questions of what might happen next. The characters had interesting back stories, but yet I often felt that the they were walking around in a constant state of sedation. I was frustrated with the ending with it reminding me more of a sitcom that wraps it up in a short time without complications. Overall, I just kept thinking that this topic would be a Jodi Picoult type of topic and wondering what she might have done with it.

I am also so glad that I am not the only one who wishes I had my $7.99 or the time it took me to read this, back. True, I did read to the end, in the vain hope that the spaceship might land and approach reality, but no such luck. I got angry as soon as Lily told Susan she was pregnant and stayed angry the whole way through. What a lot of spoiled and selfish and stupid girls, and though I have not been through this, if a daughter of mine who was still in high school and under my roof did this, damn straight I would be livid, and for quite a while, and would not be so worried about hurting the girls' delicate sensibilities.

Lily was supposed to be smart, but in the book she was approaching mental deficiency to be so clueless that living costs money, and babies cost time and money and energy... and her "goody, I'm gonna have a baby and it's gonna be all mine and no one else can play with it, and of course I can afford it, I have my babysitting money and isn't it swell, the baby is three inches long?" sounded like she was getting a doll that she was paying for out of her own allowance or something. Then, to act like Susan was being Debbie Downer by not sharing Lily's giddy point of view was pretty unbelievable. I can think of very few acts more selfish than to choose to bring a life into the world with no job or money or maturity, for someone else to support, without their knowledge or consent. I didn't like that there were ZERO consequences for the girls, still being supported financially by the families, all is cool, and even brought Lily's parents together, "see what my baby did"....But hey the moms aren't babysitting, THAT'LL teach em.

I wanted Susan to act like an actual parent instead of a meek, almost servile enabler of fantasy. I am not for one stance or the other about what the girls should have done with the babies, what angered me is the fact that they just casually thought they should do this, and did it and the "this is our baby," and "I am doing this for you, and "you don't want this baby?" and " if you had told me you wanted a sibling, I would have adopted or gone to a sperm bank...", just made my head explode.

I tired quickly of all the yarn talk, and thought if I heard "but I'm a Perry" once more, I was gonna scream. I don't even know if I cared that much about the "pact" thing, teens do mimic and copy each other with or without pacts, so it still could have happened.

I used to really like Barbara Delinsky, but this was just wrong on every level.

This ranks as the worst book I have ever wasted time reading. I wouldn't have finished reading it if it weren't for the fact that it was the book selected for the book club I am in.....I guess I felt slightly obligated to finish it. All 12 members felt it was a terrible book and our discussion of the book was very brief...I kept waiting for the "great moment" to happen and unfortunatly, it never did...this book is a big disappointment:(

I liked this book well enough, found it mostly interesting and thought provoking. But as it winds down to the end of the book it becomes a little too fairytale-like. I mean, suddenly all three of the girls' mom's decide they are ok with the decisions made by these teens and almost overnight everyone is happy-hunky-dorey. I would like to have seen a little more realistic ending, but up until that point it's a good read and worth the time.

Single mom Susan Tate has done all right for herself and her daughter, Lily, now 17. The principal of the local high in Zaganack, a small close knit community Susan is proud of Lily who excels not only scholastically but also in sports. Truth be told, Susan might be even prouder of their mother/daughter relationship. They're close, honest and open with one another.

Thus, Lily's words were a shocker. "Susan never saw it coming. She only knew that her daughter was different. The girl who had always been spontaneous and open had suddenly grown opaque." She is pregnant. Hearing that confession from Lily and having the fact corroborated by a doctor brought back what Susan's mother had said to her years ago, "You've shamed us, Susan. What were you thinking?" She, too, had been pregnant in high school and refused to marry the father of her child.

Inspired to a degree by the Gloucester, MA pregnancy pact Barbara Delinsky has fashioned a riveting, emotion packed story about three high school girls who make a similar agreement. The effects on both the girls and their families are thoughtfully explored as each copes in a different way.

As the high school principal Susan is, of course, now at risk with some perhaps thinking she is not fit to lead young students. She has fought hard for not only her job but for financial independence. Lily's actions force her mother to re-examine the mother/daughter relationship, as well as the part she may have played in Lily's choice consciously or subconsciously.

Yet, at its heart NOT MY DAUGHTER is a story of love and forgiveness. Delinsky's characters are authentic, so real, and ultimately sympathetic. And her story line may lead some to discover just how many ways there are to be a good mother.

- Gail Cooke