Not Sure: A Pastor's Journey from Faith to Doubt [Paperback]

John D. Suk (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 2, 2011

In 2002, while touring North America with his wife in an RV, John Suk -- lifelong Christian, longtime pastor, and noted leader in the Christian Reformed Church -- experienced a crippling crisis of faith. He emerged from that dark time with a strange new gift -- doubt.

In Not Sure Suk takes readers on an eyes-wide-open, deeply personal voyage through the past and present of Christian belief, reexamining Christian faith -- in his own life and in fifteen centuries of Christian history -- through a skeptic's eyes. He exposes major pitfalls of modern Christian movements and questions what he considers to be faulty paradigms: the "personal relationship with Jesus," the "health-and-wealth gospel," and traditional ethnicity-based belief systems. In the end he is left clinging to what is for him a truer, wiser kind of faith in Jesus Christ -- faith that struggles and lives with doubt.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Cornelius Plantinga Jr.
author of Beyond Doubt: Faith-Building Devotions on Questions Christians Ask
"John Suk is as honest as the Bible. With an angular, unforgettable voice he joins the psalmists who dare to lament their losses before the face of God because even lament is at bottom an expression of faith. A memorable book!"

Michael L. Lindvall
The Brick Presbyterian Church, New York City
"Doubt, John Suk discovers, is not so much the opposite of faith as it is faith's awkward companion. This noted pastor weaves a bluntly honest spiritual autobiography with sweeping doctrinal history to conclude that doubt is the 'ants in the pants of faith,' discomforting the too comfortably faithful into a more mature trust in God."

Nicholas Wolterstorff
(from foreword)
<"A rich, eloquent, beautifully written book. . . . Seldom has personal story been so imaginatively interwoven with cultural history, analysis, and critique."

About the Author

John Suk is pastor of Grace Christian Reformed Church in Cobourg, Ontario, and former editor in chief of The Banner, the Christian Reformed Church’s denominational magazine. He is also the author of Dad’s Dying: A Family’s Journey through Death.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company (September 2, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0802866506
• ISBN-13: 978-0802866509
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #697,802 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best thing I've read in years. December 14, 2011

By NomDePlume

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Losing your faith is a crisis for anyone, but this is doubly true for pastors and religious leaders. John Suk lost his faith, and in the long, difficult journey that followed, discovered on a primal level what deeply faithful people have been saying for centuries: the opposite of faith is not doubt; the opposite of faith is certainty.

I was tempted to skip the "journey" and jump to the last chapter. I'm glad I didn't. Much of the book is about his discovery of what faith is NOT: not a "personal relationship" with Christ; not adherence to a given set of doctrinal statements; not a ticket to health and wealth. Faith, rather, is primal trust in a God who does not abandon God's children; faith is a willingness to take the next step on the journey, even when we can't see where we're going, or the One who is guiding us.

The author's loss of faith closely resembles my own; the record of his journey "from faith to doubt" has been a profound gift to me. He gives a clear, lucid voice to many issues I've been wrestling with, and I am deeply grateful. I too have been "not sure" for years now; this book has taught me that I don't have to be.

Bottom line: if the title of the book grabs you and won't let go, it's probably a good sign that you need to read it. You'll be glad you did.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars well worth reading November 3, 2011

By busymom

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I was raised in the Reformed Church, then tried several other mainline denominations. The author's discussions of what Reformed Church members believe, and the church's core beliefs, were welcome reminders of the faith that formed me. In my explorations of Presbyterianism (10 years) and United Methodism (15 years) I have been left with the feeling that they are struggling unsuccessfully with what Suk describes as the transition from the age of literate belief to the second period of oral belief engendered by television and the internet. It was amazing to read his critique of modern worship practices, mainline and nondenominational, as they are exactly my own. Until I read this book I had a difficult time understanding why the usage of power point sermons, praise bands in worship, and the skin -crawling exhortation to 'let's have a hand-clap for Jesus', which was a part of every service at a church I attended until recently, left me so cold. The book is a valuable exploration of critical issues in today's church.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Sure Enough February 21, 2012

By James C. Dekker

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Thank you, John Suk, for giving us this book. Although it was planted in "our" mutual tribal soil, I think it has potential to reap an honest harvest in many Christian traditions. There is much to like and absorb in this book. It is a candid, bold, articulation of what many pastors whom I know feel deeply, but have never had the patience, time, courage (or perhaps ability) to write/say. John's always provocative, yet respectful ability is put to mighty good use in this book. His reading and analysis are both deep and broad--products not only of graduate work that he describes, but also of a curious, always growing mind AND spirit.

Not Sure is clearly the best book I've read in this new year and it may well stay near the top as the reading list grows. Suk's thorough, profound analysis and dissection of "enchanted" to "literate" faith running on both personal and societal tracks are clarifying, convincing and compelling. I found myself frequently nodding in surprising, albeit often reluctant, agreement with page after page, story after story in the book.

There may be trouble ahead: As I must take seriously the challenges that Suk delineates, I may be in for some painful things for personal and congregational pilgrimages. What if my congregation doesn't like or understand questions I put to them about confessionality and its advantages, but also its possible idolatry? Might the temporary (though very real) pain be worth it? In my own position, it would certainly be a lot easier to coast into retirement and not rock the boat, but merely to try dodging waves rather than courageously surf them. That would be the safer, but not better, path to follow.

So, John Suk, be there for me! I may need it. Why?... Because the journey John traces "from faith to doubt" accurately depicts, in my experience in similar communities, a large "building of faith" erected on a presumed and passionately defended systematic truth foundation. Trouble is, that apparently firm foundation turns out to be pretty wobbly when tested against the seismic movements of confrontations with other traditions of the Christian faith, a resurgent and belligerent atheism, other faiths entirely, and social and intellectual developments that have shaped and continue to shape the world we all inhabit.

Yet in Suk's deft handling of the subject, what is first billed in the book's subtitle as "a pastor's journey from faith to doubt" becomes, as the book unfolds, much more a journey from a faith based on human constructs ABOUT Jesus to a far more robust, leaner faith based on Jesus as revealed in all mysterious complexity in the Bible. That is a marvelous accomplishment. (By the way, it strikes me that the title is an Eerdmans' editor's choice to promote sales, though it does not accurately reflect the last third of this book or Suk's heart at all.)

What strikes me odd, though, is this: John does indeed build that more robust faith, yet in so doing, he does seem to accept biblical narratives as largely historical; I do too. The fact is, though, too many post-Enlightenment many scholars, teachers and not a few pastors reject or covertly wink at such narratives or preach them with their fingers crossed behind their backs. Yet time and again throughout the book, Suk accepts and quotes sayings of Jesus, cites his miracles, refers to basic historic lineaments of the Exodus event--and more as accurate historical if not in every detail, certainly in basic content.

Knowing John's ever-gutsy honesty and integrity, I cannot help believing that he simply DOES believe all of those things as part of the biblical revelation that God has somehow given us through all its messy, millennia-long process of speaking, writing, copying, re-writing, editing, transmitting and selecting. Yes, that is odd, peculiar, perhaps not totally consistent with Suk's doubts about confessions and church history, but what he is finally describing here is not DOUBT; it is faith. And that is why I love this book.

While I am not yet thoroughly convinced by Suk's argument about the fallacy of a "personal relationship with Jesus," I do take it very seriously as a warning against perversion of the faith into a personal, individualized and ultimately idolatrous construct. (Suk boldly calls it a "paganization" of faith along American, individualistic lines. Maybe so.) Of course, it is foolish and blasphemous to say, for example, that "Jesus told me to use a five iron on the ninth hole hole and I birdied it because I listened to Jesus." But Jesus IS a person--albeit not WITH us except through that mysterious presence of the Spirit (Holy Spirit, Spirit of Christ--whatever!). We pray to and through the person of Jesus Christ. We meditate on God's will for our lives and world through the revelation of Jesus in the Bible. Is that not personal and relational in an unavoidable way? Perhaps that is not what Suk is referring to, but that was to me the slightly foggy part of an otherwise exceedingly clear book.

Finally, when Suk respectfully, yet devastatingly gives the lie to Joel Osteen's, Kenneth Copeland's and others' prosperity "gospel" (p. 163 ff.), I almost leapt out of my chair to cheer. But then I read Suk's concluding mea culpa, namely, that "most North American Christians think of faith at least in partly pragmatic terms , much as I have for most of my life." So, it occurred to me that cheering was not the fitting response; rather, falling to my knees in repentance was. And that takes faith. Thanks again, John Suk, for shedding some light on developing that faith in these days that are probably one of the darkest darkrooms nurturing the growth of false faiths that the world has ever seen. Read more ›

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars resonating with this author! February 26, 2012

By patriciarae

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As another clergy, I resonated often with this author. I found myself saying, "Yes, I did that," or, " I wondered about/questioned that too." KUDOS for making this book available to clergy and laity.

4.0 out of 5 stars thoughtful read March 16, 2013

By liesje

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This is a book that you should not read through quickly but take the time to reflect on each chapter. In part the book is a sociological analysis of the ways in which we communicate 'truths' changes over time and has influenced how people live their faith. The honesty (and courage to write this) is very refreshing.

3.0 out of 5 stars Good story....but long on narrative. March 14, 2013

By E. Easton

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The author takes us on a journey that leaves us not sure of where he is going. He is well educated and aware of the biblical stumbling blocks that cast doubts on any literal interpretation of the scriptures. It is in his telling of his personal difficulties that at times seems to wander and repeat. Also, it was good that in reading this on kindle I was able to access the dictionary feature, for he often goes beyond the average vocabulary levels, and often unnecessarily so. His closing summary of his faith position is the highlight of the book and brings comfort and release to those of us carrying a good measure of doubt.