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Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How to Stop Worrying About Your Body and Have Great Sex: The Sex Advice Book for Women with Body Image Issues Paperback – May 7, 2013


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Soul Shifts
There are pivotal moments in the lives of all seekers when we realize that we’ve been traveling on our path of growth toward happiness and ful­fillment, but, simply put, we want to go faster.


Frequently Bought Together

Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat: How to Stop Worrying About Your Body and Have Great Sex: The Sex Advice Book for Women with Body Image Issues + Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems + The Body Image Workbook: An Eight-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks
Price for all three: $42.52

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca (May 7, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1402272553
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402272554
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,236,331 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A much needed and highly recommended book for any female who finds herself focusing on perceived body flaws to the detriment of her sex life and relationship... a must-read for any woman who's ever worried whether her body is good enough -- and isn't that most of us?
" - Tracey Cox, international bestselling author of Hot Sex

About the Author

MICHAEL ALVEAR co-hosted the TV series The Sex Inspectors, which aired on HBO. His commentaries have been heard on NPR's All Things Considered and he made appearances on The Tyra Banks Show and The Today Show. His columns have appeared in The New York Times and Newsweek and he blogs for The Huffington Post.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By ThatGuy on May 12, 2013
Format: Paperback
I saw a write up on this book in Woman's Day Magazine and I was intrigued enough to buy it. It is amazingly helpful and surprisingly, even movingly, funny. Struck me odd that a guy wrote it, frankly.

The author talks a lot about how women develop what he calls "bedroom body shame"--an obsessively negative judgment about your body. Some of it, ok, a lot has been covered in many other books about body image. What distinguishes this book is that it's a flat-out sex advice guide for women who hate their bodies. Just a warning if you thought this was more of a theoretical book; it's not. Some of the chapters are sexually explicit (what women with a negative body image should do and not do in bed to avoid exacerbating their problem).

The book is research-heavy, quoting copiously from academic studies done over the last 20 years. To the author's credit, it's a lively read. The chapter titles alone tell you how accessible the book is ("Do These Thoughts Make Me Look Fat? Passing Up Pleasure To Pass Judgment."). While the book seems designed for women with a bad case of "appearance anxiety" (that would be most of us, I would think), it's such an inventive, entertaining (an odd word for a book like this) and informative read that *any* woman, body image issues or not, would get a lot out of it.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Anthony Morris on May 13, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am a man, but I read the book on recommendation of a friend. I found it enlightening and it helped me understand the thoughts of women. I haven't read anything this revealing since "You Just Don't Understand."
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Miranda Scott on May 15, 2013
Format: Paperback
Okay, first, best cover ever. It's actually what made me buy the book as it perfectly captures how I feel in bed sometimes.This is a quirky book. It's like a how-to, a polemic, and an academic study in humorous wrapping. Somehow it works because you feel listened to, spoken for and paid attention to throughout the book.

The book is about how to unplug the negative thoughts about your body to resurrect your love life. It's well laid-out, starting with how we develop opinions about our body, to sex techniques that get rid of obsessive thoughts to what our partners can do to help.

The author mixes fascinating academic studies (women's body image plummets after reading a fashion magazine for 15 minutes), with laugh out loud observations ("Men don't like women who are so skinny they're in danger of the wind blowing them across the street") and sharp, pointed sex advice designed to make you focus on something other than your body ("Move so you can be a vehicle for pleasure rather than an object to be looked at.").

This is an eye-opening book destined to change the sex lives of a lot of women. It's a zippy read, chock full of information and written with a humorous tenderness that surprised me.
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More About the Author

Michael Alvear co-hosted HBO's The Sex Inspectors, the first sex makeover series on television. He is the author of Sex Inspectors Master Class: How to Have an Amazing Sex Life (based on the TV series) and Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon, a "best of" collection of his nationally syndicated sex advice column.

He's been a frequent contributor to National Public Radio's "All Things Considered," and his culture critiques have appeared in Newsweek, Washington Post, Reader's Digest, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, and numerous other dailies.