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Not Tonight, Honey: Wait 'Til I'm A Size 6 Paperback – May 3, 2005


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Kensington (May 3, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0758211244
  • ISBN-13: 978-0758211248
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (88 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,262,009 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Reinhardt slips Zoloft into her husband's tea for several weeks to cure him of an incessant need to clean and an overactive libido. She is matron of honor at her best friend's wedding—and ends up taking the minister's place when his colostomy bag malfunctions. She gives an interview while on bed rest due to irritable uterus syndrome and later winds up reading a headline on her "grumpy vagina." Obviously, syndicated newspaper columnist Reinhardt is the kind of woman who gets into endless scrapes, but she's as amused by them as readers are, and her book will appeal to lovers of the Sweet Potato Queens and Fanny Flagg. But there's another side to Reinhardt. Some of the essays in this collection are lyrical even as they pay tribute to old favorites: Southern women, pregnancy and motherhood. Most of all, the author knows that some days we, like her, come into work just to see what the "weirdos" are up to, and that we like the same thing in our nonfiction. And while her topics are sometimes predictable and her humor is sometimes crass, her heart is always in the right place, and her prose is often fresh and fun. Agent, Ethan Ellenberg. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Newspaper columnist Reinhardt has put together a collection of anecdotes and tales that ranges from side splitting to achingly poignant. She's like a modern-day, southern-fried Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry, and her tales of the ordinary will resonate with women everywhere. Meet her husband, Tidy Stu, who won't let her have bed skirts or load the dishwasher; her grandmother, who insists she doesn't smoke as she hides the lit evidence in her apron pockets; and her mother, a true southern lady and "double virgin." Laugh as Susan, determined to get her children a dog despite Tidy Stu's objections, purchases a nursing dachshund in a parking lot; hold back the tears as her mother comforts her through a miscarriage and as she leaves her son on his first day of school. Readers of all stripes will find themselves relating to Susan and thoroughly enjoying these, by turns, raunchy and tear-inducing real-life stories. Maria Hatton
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

More About the Author

Susan Reinhardt, a well-known, award-winning columnist is author of six books along with many anthologies. Her first novel, "Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle" is now available and getting great reviews.
Her bestselling book of humor, "Not Tonight Honey, Wait 'Til I'm a Size 6," is now in its 7th printing. This was followed by "Don't Sleep with a Bubba," A Book of the Year winner, and "Dishing with the Kitchen Virgin," a best-selling collection of hilarious culinary disasters with a dash of PG-13 humor and a smidgeon of sex. All were published by Kensington in New York City.
Her recent books include participating in the Malaprop's Book Store bestseller, "Naked Came the Leaf Peeper," in which a dozen of Western North Carolina's most well-known authors went wild with a serial novel, each taking a turn with his or her own chapter. The book was highly praised by Charles Frazier, author of "Cold Mountain," along with "Eat Pray Love's" Elizabeth Gilbert.
In November, 2012, she and co-author and editor DC Stanfa released "Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-ups, Break-ups, and Crack-ups," featuring some of the most famous authors and bloggers around, including their own tales of romantic misadventure and blunders.
Soon, she will release her biggest project to date: Her first novel, 10 years in the making titled, "Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle."
In addition to writing, she's a stand-up comedian, public speaker, public servant, taxi driver to her teen daughter, debit card to her 20-year-old son, and a borderline candidate to appear on "The Hoarders" Buried Alive!" if you saw her bedroom/office and the amount of books and stacked papers.
She is mother of two: daughter Lindsey, 15, and son Niles, 20. They are her true loves and the very reason she BEGS her husband (second hubby) for Botox at least once a year.
Reinhardt is involved in many charities, including child and animal welfare groups and is a community volunteer.
To book her for speaking, comedy or book club events, call 1-828-338-0030.

Customer Reviews

Write on, Susan Reinhardt!
Christine Green
I would recommend this book to any one looking for a good relaxing read.
QW2
This book had me both laughing and crying.
J. R. Whittington

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By K. Macumber on April 8, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I thought the writing was great and hilarious, but not being (or wanting to be) a mother made some of the material boring because I couldn't relate. I would definitely recommend the book to anyone, only with the caveat that much of it is focused around motherhood.
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26 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Darlene Schacht on November 13, 2005
Format: Paperback
Not Tonight Honey, Wait `till I'm a Size 6, arrived in the signature Amazon box just as I was headed out to dinner with a friend. I knew that four more hours was too long a wait to get into the book, and so I decided to bring the book along with us. It turns out that rush hour traffic was slower than a game of scrabble with Grandma, and so we sat bumper to bumper. I began to read, "The big jowly woman jiggled toward our car, preceded by one of those front asses split in half by her red polyester stirrup pants-" With that sentence, my friend lost it, and the car started to shake as we both held our stomachs gasping for air. Crawling along in slow traffic, the only sound was a high-pitched wheezing as we both tried to regain control. The book was opened again at the restaurant, because both my friend and I had to read the rest of the "The Taco Bell Dog" story.

Being an avid humor book reader, I've found that many books are either lacking in gut holding wit, or quality writing. This book is rich in warmth and detail. The author doesn't simply tell the story with a good laugh, but rather she has the ability to bring the reader into the story. I felt as though I was invited to smell the cigarette smoke and feel the rush of blood to my head as I lay at the top of the stairs with a young Susan looking down at her mother. I love how she wrote they had hair like That Girl, which set the time and the style in so few words. And I love the description, "Cigarette smoke like the funnels of tornados rose up the stairs to my nose."

All this to say, I can't wait for her next book to arrive in the signature Amazon box.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful By R. Vaughn on June 13, 2007
Format: Paperback
As a hardcore fan of female humor writers, I eagerly anticipated cackling with abandon over this book. Alas, it's really not that funny. Amusing, yes. Hilarious, no. I was frankly disappointed. If you want to read something that will have you guffawing out loud, have strangers stare at you in public while you snicker audibly, or keep your husband awake at night because you won't shut up laughing at the book, try Laurie Notaro or Jen Lancaster. I practically hee-hawed myself silly over Lancaster's "Bitter is the New Black" and Notaro's "Autobiography of a Fat Bride."
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Jamie McMahan on July 28, 2005
Format: Paperback
After reading Mrs. Reinhardt's book, and finally recovering from the fits of laughter said book induced, I've come to the conclusion that anybody who could read this book and not chuckle (or better yet roll around on the carpet roaring with laughter) is either devoid of a sense of humor, dead, or worse yet, probably a yankee...or perhaps they may live somewhere above the polar ice cap where the nights last for six months and life is about as cheery as a root canal. The author has the rare ability to find and point out for the rest of us the hilarious side of everyday existence. The old adage goes "truth is stranger than fiction", and it sure is a helluva lot funnier! Personally I admire any writer who can turn a phrase well enough to point out the humor in the everyday mating rituals of the suburban housewife, or who can forge adjectives together to paint a picture of the ordinary, run-of-the-mill, middle aged hubby lounging on the sofa in his underwear as the funniest thing since Gerald Ford fell off of Air Force One (or since George W. fell off of his bicycle!) Hell, I read Reinhardt's story "The Grumpy Vagina" and found it funny, and I'm a man for Godsakes! Seriously, I would highly recommend Reinhardt's book to any reader who can appreciate a good laugh at life (and for those who sort of scratch their heads and denounce her writing as just stories about somebody's life and wonder who would want to read such stuff, I'll be all snobbish for a moment, and say, they call that "observational humor" ladies and gentlemen). In short, if you think the feminine side of David Sedaris or Lewis Grizzard is worth exploring, go pick up this book and have a laugh.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Alabama Fool on October 31, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book has a very different style of humor delivered from this Southern Belle in Dixie. She opens her life and her heart to the reader in a compelling way like no other. Laugh, cry, the reader will experience it all. Reinhardt has a gift of making the reader feel part of the stories she tells. I would highly recommend her work to anyone.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Bex Angell on July 13, 2005
Format: Paperback
When you find yourself thinking about a story, or characters in a story of a book you just read, you know you've stumbled onto something extraordinary. Susan Reinhardt's brand of humor, compassion, story-telling, and flat-out relate-ability is a gift in itself. Each chapter gives an insight into our OWN daily lives; the good, the sad, and the funny. Reinhardt is cosmopolitan, well-educated, AND southern at the same time, giving southern women a deservedly better reputation that they have gotten in the past. I would recommend this book to anyone who has loved, lost, and celebrated the big and small joys of life.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Lisa Earle McLeod on March 24, 2007
Format: Paperback
Susan Reinhardt is about as boring as your first french kiss or the first time you jump out of a plane! Every woman will totally relate to this book. Susan Reinhardt is like a funnier, naughtier version of your best girlfriend.

Her writing is one-part sassy southern gal, two-parts lovin' mommy and three-parts gal-pal gossip. She says what we've all either thought about, experienced or watched from afar. I mean, really what woman hasn't wanted her husband's libido to go on vacation for a while? And who hasn't shed a quiet tear over the fall of her once perky breasts?

I heard Susan speak at the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers Conference, and she was the funniest woman there. Her tales about her double virgin sister who lives in Rich City and the wacky citizens she encounters as a newspaper columnist had us in tears.
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