Customer Reviews

Not Without My Daughter

5 star:		(114)
4 star:		(51)
3 star:		(31)
2 star:		(13)
1 star:		(65)

 

 

I would advise you all to read her follow-up book to "Not WIthout My Daughter" called "For the Love of a Child". Betty WAS NOT LYING in any part of her book. She has proof of all her experiences and the way she escaped, namely, her stamped passport in Ankara, Turkey. Her ex-husband Moody, recently published his own side of the story is his book "Lost WIthout My Daughter" where he says Betty lied about everything, but he offers no concrete proof of this. Betty has her bus tickets, passport stamps and valid witnesses to the proof of her escape from Moody's wicked claws. More proof? Mahtob, her daughter, who is now an adult has repeatedly refused to acknowledge her father because her trust was betrayed as a child. Surely, as a grown woman, Mahtob is able to make her own decisions and her decisions stand as proof of what both she and her mother went through to get away from this madman (who has lied repeatedly). Also, this book (and the movie) was not meant as an affront to the Iranian culture. Quite the contrary, Betty goes out of her way in the book to relate the fact that it was the kind and compassionate Iranians who helped her escape from Moody's clutches. She received NO HELP from the U.S. state departments. People should remember that this is an honest depiction from HER standpoint and what SHE WENT through. She is only speaking for herself and no one else. As for Moody, well, he is obviously a bitter old man now. Perhaps he does feel loss and anguish for Mahtob, but he did bring the situation upon himself. If Mahtob refuses to have anything to do with him, it is her decision and who can blame her? It is time for people to realize that Betty's book was factual and not exaggerated in any way.

NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER is one of the very best books that I have ever read. My only regret is that I can't give this book more than 5 stars. Betty Mahmoody is very courageous for telling her story.

This is a story about an American housewife who goes to Iran with her husband and daughter. Her husband decides to keep her in his homeland against her will. She is a virtual prisoner at the mercy of her corrupt husband. Her basic human rights were violated, rights that any ordinary person takes for granted. She finally finds help to get back home but the journey isn't easy.

This book gives a really positive message which is that there is good in people all around the world. There were many Iranians who were willing to help her no matter what the consequences were.

I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in equality and human rights. Also, on the same topic I recommend any books by Jean Sasson.

I loved this book. I have read through it a bunch of times and I always find it just as compelling. In a later review, I will get into that one more. In the meantime, I want to comment on the criticisms I see over and over. You accuse her of being biased. Let's consider some facts. Betty Mahmoody went to Iran with her daughter. That is a fact. Her husband would not let her leave. That is a fact. She was held against her will. Yes, I know she could have theoretically forced a divorce which would have gotten her deported but her daughter would have been stuck there. She was not allowed to leave freely and on her own terms simply because she was a woman. That is a fact that is written into the country's law. Criticize her if you feel you must. But just remember that she was held against her will just beacause of her gender. There is no justification for that. Please, tell me. What defense could her husband possibly have?

In this fascinating book, Betty Mahmoody relates the story of her life as the wife of an Iranian man who was a doctor in the U.S. when she met him. Although possessed by moods of depression, Moody is a loving husband and father most of the time. When his nephew comes to visit, they begin to plan for Moody's family to come to Iran for a two-week vacation. Betty suspects that Moody may try to detain them in his native land, but she relents when he promises on the Koran that this will not be the case. They go to Iran, where Betty finds Moody's relatives to be rude and arrogant, as well as having filthy houses and bodies. She cannot wait for the 2 weeks to be over, but when the time comes to return to the States, Betty's worst nightmare comes true when Moody detains them. While he is in Iran, Moody's word is law and no one can interfere with his decision to keep his family there. What follows is a nightmare of beatings, harrassment, and virtual imprisonment, as Moody returns to his traditional Islamic ways. This is an incredibly eye-opening book, and the courage of Betty and her daughter during their ordeal is inspiring.

I lived a life similar in many ways to Betty's life. I too was an American married to an Iranian man who was the lovliest man until we went to Iran and he began treating me the same way he saw his father and other men treat their wives. The men there revere their mothers, but their wives are a different story. They are chattel. We lived there 4-1/2 years. After watching our daughter being beaten by him and being beaten myself, I decided I had to get out. I went to the American Consulate for assistance -- after all, I'm an American -- but since Americans married to Iranians must have an Iranian birth certificate and passport, the Consulate couldn't help me. He said it would cause diplomatic problems. In short, I can totally relate to Betty's story, because in part it was my story, and I knew of quite a few American women in Tehran married to Iranians who began to believe it was their "fate" to tolerate anything the men dished out. I never fell into that line of thinking. We finally got out of Iran, I divorced my husband, and I have spent years warning young women to stay away from Iranian men. Betty's story was not just one of revenge, it was a cathartic story and a story to warn other women contemplating a relationship with an Iranian man. PS - I greatly respect Iranian women.

When I was in high school, a friend of mine recommended "Not Without My Daughter." Twenty years later, I finally got around to reading it. I wish that friend were still in my life to discuss the book with. I recall her saying she stayed up all night, unable to put the book down, and I had much the same reaction. It is a riveting tale of domestic abuse and a harrowing escape, occuring in Tehran in 1984. Yes, there were moments that made me squirm because Betty Mahmoody seemed like a spoiled American making sweeping generalizations about a culture she had little time to experience, but the story overall is a compelling one.

I recommend the book highly, with reservations. I also read "Persepolis" recently and that provided a much needed counterpoint to Mahmoody's biases. It is essential to consider more than one person's experiences. Not everyone in Iran is like the family she married into. That said, this is a compelling story and one worth knowing about.

First, the book was not necessarily well written, but then, this kind of book doesn't have to be well written to get its point across.
Biased, yes, but understandably so. Many of the reviews that follow claim that Betty Mahmoudi has presented a one-sided, bigoted, prejudiced, etc., etc., view of life in Iran (in 1984). But, here are some facts those reviews ignore:
1) Betty wanted to GET OUT OF IRAN! If Iran is so great, why didn't she want to stay? I also notice that most, if not all, of the people who are criticizing the objectiveness of this book are Iranians who are not living in Iran (they are Iranians living in Canada or in the UK - go figure)!
2) Betty's desperation to get out of Iran is the only justification she needs to do whatever it takes, legal or otherwise, to accomplish her objective. If she had the support and cooperation of a loving Iranian host/family, then she would not have needed to resort to smugglers.
3) Whether or not Dr. Mahmoudi made Betty stay in doors because Iran it is dangerous for a woman to walk the city streets of Iran or because he was afraid that Betty would try to escape, it doesn't matter. Both scenarios are bad.
4) Criticisms about this story (and I understand much of it may be exaggerated, but this is Betty's story and not yours, my friend) are mostly coming from the lucky people who are not actually living the horror that Betty had to go through.

Is this story biased? Yes! Is that bias understandable? Yes! Is Betty a somewhat culturally ignorant bumpkin? Yes. You can put any kind of positive spin you want on life in Iran, but the bottom line is that many more people are trying to get out of Iran than are trying to get into Iran.

Another story that carried a somewhat similar theme of Americans who don't do well in foreign places is "Daughter of Danang" ( http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/daughter/ ), which really made me feel more sympathy for the Vietnamese people than for the immature and insensitive American girl who returned to Danang, her birthplace, for a family reunion of sorts.

First of all, let me just say to ANYONE who thinks Betty Mahmoody is a racist, you can't play the "race" card here my friends, she married the guy, so if she was racist then explain them being married in the first place, not to mention the fact she named her very own daughter "Mahtob". I also have read numerous reviews thinking she had in some way fabricated her story and it could be "onesided". Here again you may have to display just an ounce of common sense; that whether or not her treatment was as bad as she says , she was being held AGAINST HER WILL. Even if he had not abused her physically, keeping her HELD HOSTAGE is exactly what he and his family had done to her. Dr. Mahmoody knew what he was doing when they left the states and knew the laws there as well, once she is in Iran she has NO RIGHTS.Whoever thinks she is scamming the situation with lies needs to think straight. Noone would up and leave their entire home, family and friends and decide to stay where women are treated like animals and not forgetting the fact her daughter was enduring the same thing. Yes, she has made alot of money from this and the movie and I say good for her. She "earned" it. Anyone envious of her financial situation, maybe you will get lucky and be trapped in a third world country somewhere against your will for 2 yrs., have to ESCAPE 500 miles on foot in some of the most dangerous lands known and with the all mighty dollar in mind, slip back into the US and make tons of money from your horrible experience. After doing so, some of your own Amercian people calling you a liar when you get back.
Bottomline, this is a great book and a great movie and I have become even more proud to be an american since reading it.

A great book. I couldn't put it down and finished it all in less than 96 hours. Beautifully written, very touching and moving.Very engaging as well.
I'm an Arab and I can't understand why so many other Arab readers are annoyed by it. Betty gives a fair account of her story.
She has however missed out on some important details, like very imporant religious events in Iran that she did not mention at all. But maybe they were not relevant to her story.
Yet overall I still hold the opinion that it is a great book.

I'm sure this book is biased, since Betty Mahmoody is writing about her own experiences as an American woman in an unfamiliar culture with a husband who by her account changed drastically in personality while they were there and became abusive and refused to allow her to leave with her child. Even if it is biased or sensational, it should be read as a tale of a culture clash and what can happen when a marriage goes bad between a western woman and an Islamic man.

Most Islamic countries will automatically give custody of a child to the father. If the mother is allowed to keep custody of a preteen girl, it will probably be only within the Islamic country, only if she doesn't remarry a non-Muslim, and only if her behavior fits with a strict Islamic code. Boys are taken away from their mothers even younger than girls. Even in the past five years there have been several stories about women whose husbands or boyfriends have taken their children to Saudi Arabia or Bahrain or Jordan or various other Islamic countries and the women couldn't get them back or mothers who have visited those countries with their children and been refused permission to leave because the father or father's family won't allow it. Women don't have the same rights to their children in Islamic countries as they do in the United States or other western countries. These kids will usually have passports from the father's country so he can travel with the kids using those passports even if an American judge has ordered that the child stay in the United States. This is the type of situation that Mahmoody ran into 25 years ago when she wanted to leave with Mahtob and it hasn't changed much. Any woman marrying a man from one of these countries should be aware of the differences in child custody laws and go into the marriage clear-eyed. If the marriage stays good, she won't have to worry, but if it goes bad there is some risk. Likewise, a man marrying a western woman should be aware of American custody laws that usually will require him to share custody of a child with a woman and will give her equal say regarding religion, schooling, and every other aspect of the child's life until the age of 18.