Customer Reviews

Not Without My Sister: The True Story of Three Girls Violated and Betrayed

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This book does an excellent job of capturing, in a matter-of-fact narrative delivered in unembellished prose, a picture of what it was like to have been born circa the 70's to parents who joined the "Children of God" cult (which now goes by "The Family International"), and to have been raised there.

Although I grew up in "Family" cult communes in another continent half a world away, not knowing the authors (except for seeing videos and pictures of Celeste Jones at Music With Meaning, which the cult published and circulated), as I read "Not Without my Sister" I recognized the various directives from the cult leaders' "letters" that the authors mentioned - and the unfortunately mirrored consequences when the adults around us implemented those directives on me and the other children around me.

So many of the incidents that the 3 authors recount and the trademark environments, atmosphere and modus operandi during the various phases of the cult's history, echo uncannily with what I experienced and saw when I was confined in that insular world. Like the authors as children, it was the only world I had ever known; escape from servitude and a better future seemed impossible dreams. I think the authors handled particularly effectively the challenge of communicating, in a direct and almost conversational manner notably devoid of melodramatics, a child's inner experience of confusion and entrapment in the face of cult-approved and sponsored molestation and exploitation delivered by the perpetrators in tones of religious devotion and of being all "sweetness and light". Disabling distress is felt when one has no other frame of reference to confirm the unruly feelings that all was not well, feelings that went against something we were raised to think was "of God" while surrounded only by grown-ups who embraced that ethos (or were not sufficiently concerned about us children to confront it).

I should note for others raised in that cult that the reading brought back so much of what I experienced and saw that at times the painful memories were too much to continue and I had to put the book down for a time. If, on the other hand, you are unfamiliar with the cult, you may wonder why I would continue reading when that was the case. This brings me to one reason why it is so important that a book has finally been written about childhoods in a cult that has sunk enormous efforts and resources into rewriting its history (aided by certain "academic" types and others that have come within its sphere of influence) in its pursuit of recognition, acceptance and the resulting financial success it craves, all while being unwilling to make reparations to the children who were abused by it. There is a source of pain far greater than bad memories, which can be lethal to sanity and hope: being told that what you remember did not happen, that you are crazy, that you are lying. It is maddening enough when it is various perpetrators; it is absolutely devastating when it is, say, a parent.

As part of the first wave of children born into captivity in the "Family", I ran away one pre-dawn into the unknown, a minor in a 3rd world country at a time when those born in the cult did not leave it (unless, say, you became a runaway, perhaps never heard from again). I had never met or spoken with any relatives outside the cult to whom I could turn.

For what seemed like forever, I felt so alone without anybody else who could bear witness to what happened. I had no examples to show that there could be a future after that childhood, that one could get an education and carve out a fate other than the self-destruction the cult predicted for its "backslidden" children. If I were to dare that today, I would have this book, and my suffering would be immeasurably lessened.

In fact, back then, Kristina Jones' was one of the first voices I heard that bore witness. It seems that her sisters Celeste and Juliana take after that same courage.

This book strikes a blow against child abuse in all its guises, because the perpetrators' wager is that even if you live, you will not tell. However, this book also renders a very specific public service because, while The Family International may not be original among child abusers in the crimes it committed against children, it definitely pushed the envelope in its sustained operation - under the guise of a "Christian" movement - of an international clandestine conspiracy that carried out, covered for and profited from such exploits as child abuse, rape, incest, kidnapping, false imprisonment, torture, child slave labor and trafficking, prostitution, money laundering and medical neglect of minors (like me - I suffered severe and irreversible consequences affecting basic physical functions) and of vulnerable adults, which neglect sometimes resulted in negligent homicide, as my case almost did.

The Family International is now intent on strengthening its foothold in respectable circles that do not know its past, often putting forward as Project Managers of its charities (projects which more often than not focus on vulnerable youth) cult members who severely abused children. The constituencies that it is targeting have a right to know who they embrace or champion.

Perhaps progress will bring the day when institutions such as the USA's Internal Revenue Service will be informed enough so as to stop granting to the Family Care Foundation and other alter egos of such enterprises as The Family International the aegis under which to make millions through tax exemptions.

I was very touched by this book. i cried as i read it, remembering what i too have been thru in this group. i grew up with many of the same abusers and lived in the same country, even living with Celeste and Julie off and on. (Hi girlies!!). i want to state for the record and in their support that despite what others in this group mention, how these things never happened to them...these things did happen, and they happened to me, and i happen to know it happened to them as well. i congratulate them for having the guts to put these things out, to make the public aware of things that can happen. i love you girls, and am so proud of you. ..your friend, Kat

This book is a very rational account of three people's personal experiences of a very difficult childhood. Despite the outrageous liberties that were taken with their minds and bodies by adults in the organisation within which they grew up, the authors manage to wite a very balanced, rational account which comes across clearly that they do not have an axe to grind but are simply telling their story in the hope that people will question and think hard about extreme religious organisations.
The book is carefully researched in terms of the history of the children of god, and succintly written without dwelling on the 'trauma' of the experience. The authors draw on only what they know and experienced themselves. The voices of the three girls come through clearly, intertwined with their adult selves.
What surprised me was the level of forgiveness they express towards their parents, who come across as drifting souls who were sucked into a cult that gave them the feeling of structure to their lives, and a sensation of importance, especially in the case of the father. The girls come across as positive and determined to move forward. The book is not a navel gazing searching for the reasons why their lives are bad, it is a clear thinking, well written account of what they actually experienced. I learned a lot. read it, if only to realise the blessings that you experienced in your own childhood

I bought this book simply to support the effort to raise awareness of the inner workings of The Family. I didn't think I'd ever get around to reading it, as I have hundreds of books that I have not yet read.
Upon seeing the size of it I felt confidant that I would never read it, however, after skimming through it and seeing all the familiar terminology and names, I decided to start from the beginning. I finished it in 5 days. That's fast for me.
I could relate to almost every situation, and to all the feelings of frustration, boredom and anger that arose from being in those kind of situations. I will never go back.

After spending the first 20 years of my life in "the family" I can say from first hand experience that the information presented in this book, is an accurate representation of life in "the family".

Anyone who has a problem with my review can write me at outofwords@hotmail.com

After reading this book I realise just how lucky I have been and how happy my own childhood was. I have no connection to this cult and simply came across this book on a recommended reading section of a friend's website. It is a fantastic insight into a world find hard to believe exists in this days and age. I was astounded by some of this books content. The courage the three authors have shown in exposing what they had to endure as children has to be acknowledged and I admire all three for this.

This book is well written and makes for a very emotional read. I'm only a few years older then the three sisters who wrote this book and have two young children of my own. As a parent I found it very hard to understand the virtual abandonment of children that happened a lot in this cult along with the level of abuse these young children had to endure.

I would highly recommend this for anyone who enjoys well written true life story's but be prepared for a highly emotional read.

If you only read one book about The Family/Children of God cult, make it this one. A number of books about this new religious movement have been published but until now there has never been one that told the story of the children raised in it from their own perspective. Over the years, I've read just about everything that has ever been published about this organization, which I also was raised in, and I can honestly say that this is the best book ever written on the subject. It is very well-written and, despite the challenges undoubtedly created by having three co-authors, the narrative flow is cohesive. Because the co-authors left the organization at different points in its history, their story provides great insight into the experiences of children born and raised in The Family over time. Together, their stories provide first-hand accounts of what it was like to grow up in this organization from the 1970s all the way up to 2005. This is a difficult book to read. It contains accounts of horrific acts of child abuse done in the name of God and love. There were parts that made me cry. But I'm glad they had the courage to write this book and tell the truth about what happened to them.

picked up this book and could not put it down,it is soooooo facinating and mind blowing how this has been alowed to happend,i feel for all the people invloved and feel this book need's an award it is so well written and the bravery to have written it,best book i read for a long while

A courageous and well-written book by 3 new co-authors. I had heard about The Children of God from a friend who had left it as a young teenager, yet was unprepared for this painful tale of what it was like growing up within the cult. My heart ached for the theft of their childhood and innocence and raged against the cruelty and hypocrisy of the adults around them and the betrayal of trust of those who should have been protecting them. It was clear that the children suffered the most in the cult. Unlike the adults, they had not chosen to join the cult and were brought up thinking there was no alternative to life outside it. I was glad that it was made clear that the leaders were distorting the Bible and taking verses out of context. The cult's teachings are so out of line with God's character as described in the Bible (merciful, pure and holy) that they cannot even be held up as an interpretation of the Bible. It surprised me that intelligent adults could be so deceived by the cult that they would set aside logic, and I'm curious to understand the phenomenon of cults better. For example, one of the authors points out that a true prophet would not make a false prophecy, yet Mo does so many times and the adults swallow it without question. Indeed, it's clear the children see more clearly than the adults. Particularly fascinating is Celeste's account of her time in "World Services", where she realizes that the cult members are living out another person's crazy delusions, the perverted fantasy of a "self appointed Queen and a set of arbitrary rules." It reminded me of "Reading Lolita in Tehran," where the author, Azar Nafisi, reaches a similar conclusion about Iran under Ayatollah Khomeini.

I picked this book up super quick at Dublin airport to read during my flight home to NY. I grabbed it and read the back cover and saw it said something about The Children of God religious cult and immediately bought it. i remember seeing a documentory about this SICK SICK excuse for a religion and wanted to read about these girls. I think everyone should read this book and become aware of what has gone on in the past and still is going on with this group. i commend these women for finally getting out and on with their lives, although i was trying not to judge why they hadn't done it sooner. it is so sad that their childhoods and innocense were taken away from them. but i will have to say- it still angered me that they were still so nice to their father who is completely at fault for bringing them into this.
the book is written in the three perspectives of the sisters and slightly gets redundant- but do not let that stop you from reading their accounts- as they are different people- but some of the events are repetitive.

ABSOLUTELY 5 Stars. No question about it.
I picked up this book, in paperback, from my local library a couple days ago, just perusing the shelves for a quick book to read. The cover photo caught my eye, and with the title, gave an inkling of a tragic event these girls must have gone through. I did not pick it up because I knew it was about cult survivors, I picked it up because it made me think about my own sister and the bond of friendship we have together and how we have always helped each other through life's ups and downs and laughs and good and bad times. When I finished reading it a day later, I realized this recounting of abuse and terror beyond belief, hidden from the outside world, most likely will stay with me for the rest of my life. You don't forget atrocities like this, especially to young innocent precious children....children who look to adults for gentle and sure guidance, and well founded morality, and mostly, the LOVE of the parent for his/her CHILD, repeat: CHILD, not 21 year old, CHILD, THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE knowledge and/or actual actions of: intercourse, oral sex, strip teases and suggestive nude dances, nude photo sessions, sex ed at age 3, sex practices at age 3, belief that it's good to "LOVE" Jesus, etc....(AS IF you needed to have anymore to add to that list).
As for the people who reviewed here saying this was a fabricated story, why would you sincerely doubt them? Why else would these women go on in their lives to start an organization to help children in life threatening abusive situations? [...]
They could have been accountants, teachers, sports pros, scientists, etc., but they chose to be abused child advocates...a job ALL of us aspire to, don't we? Yep, sounds like they are full of hot air, uh huh, yup. Sigh.
All you have to do is watch this video [...]
by a young guy who was driven to suicide and murder by these sicko cult members, who was right in the middle of this cult, by his own parents, founders of the cult. Sick stuff...
I am so very happy for these women that they were able to escape this so-called family to start their new lives outside; but all these horrible memories still are fresh and painful and they will have them forever. Can you imagine? Can you EVEN.....imagine?

To Celeste, Juliana, and Kristina:
know that your words will live beyond this book; many people will continue to come out for years, through your words if they are able to get this book, and there will be a collective voice larger than you ever imagined, if you are not already seeing it now. With this book, you have sent a beacon of hope out to many. Your online site has forums that are helpful to survivors and informational to those who are wanting to help. There are dangerous, damaging, very enticing, and on-the-surface charismatic cults existing everywhere in this world at this very second...and knowing this very fact, if we don't protect our children from their twisted visions, we can and should be held accountable for the damage done to our very own families.
Bravo to you all for speaking out!!! You are believed.