Not Your Mother's Life: Changing the Rules of Work, Love, and Family (Paperback)

by Joan K. Peters (Author) "I can start with a proposition or a story..." (more)
Key Phrases: spiritual currency, entrepreneurial couples, nurturing man, Carol Ann, Silicon Valley, Morgan Stanley (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
With strategic planning and a few sacrifices, today's mothers can have it all, just not all at the same time, argues Peters (When Mothers Work). Because of their economic clout and knowledge gained from past generations' mistakes, contemporary young women are uniquely positioned, according to Peters, to achieve the balance of work and family that eluded their mothers and grandmothers. The keys to success are knowing what one wants, planning accordingly and avoiding the traps of a traditional marriage, in which the mother bears primary domestic and childcare responsibilities. Choices of college majors, careers, nurturing partners and even residence (close to family for child care) all affect the child-rearing experience. Real-life case studies are scattered throughout the book, showcasing a wide range of strategies. In some families, dad stays home; in others, mom chooses flextime or a less-prestigious but more family-friendly employer. A chapter on entrepreneurialism instructs women on how to strike out on their own; another titled "Understanding the Workplace 2000" teaches women and men to negotiate and redefine the workplace: its hours, pressures and benchmarks of success. Extensively researched and highly readable, this book offers a road map to a more balanced future for mothers, fathers and the children who will benefit from happier, more fulfilled parents. Agent, Susan Ginsburg. (May)Forecast: An entire generation of middle-class women faces the problem Peters discusses. Her optimistic and accessible book should have a wide appeal.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Peters (When Mothers Work: Loving Our Children Without Sacrificing Ourselves) believes that women today can and should buck the boomers' have-it-all superwoman mindset. Via her interviews, she did find some evidence that women are finding ways to achieve balance by "working smarter, not harder." One of Peters's most interesting points is that there seems to be a pre- and post-parenthood divide. Couples who were completely egalitarian before they had children somehow manage to slide into gender-role behavior norms afterward. Peters believes that this is because society rewards women for "mommy" behavior and sneers at men for helping out in the nursery. Although Peters covers many interesting subjects, she doesn't offer a real introduction and skips from topic to topic, leaving a lot of loose ends. Her intended audience isn't really clear either; she seems to be writing a political manifesto for the (as she admits) apolitical post-boomer generations. Public libraries with a large post-feminist clientele should consider.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (May 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738206822
• ISBN-13: 978-0738206820
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,689,971 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good in some ways, May 2, 2005

By	Carolynn (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

I have to preface this: I'm not a mom yet, so I know zip from experience.

I have some quibbles with some of the Moms profiled in this book who say that bringing their kids to work was no problem. If you're the boss, and you bring your child to the office, your employees aren't going to tell you to your face they mind them being there...but I can say from experience, having your bosses child at the office is a distraction. Also, having to babysit isn't great. The story of the army officer who breast fed her baby in the field seemed outrageous to me.

That said, I think that a lot of the advice is sound, and some of the stories of women who've done it are very inspirational.

Some of the key bits :

- Plan your life (but expect your plans to change)
- Save your pennies
- Choose a career that will give you flexibility. (Yes, they do exist--but you have to look, and you've got to work very, very hard to get to the point where this luxury will be available to you.)
- Pick a good husband!!!! Someone who shares your values. And discuss raising children BEFORE you get hitched.

All good advice.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wise Advice, May 19, 2002

By	"gracesong" (IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Not Your Mother's Life : Changing the Rules of Work, Love, and Family (Hardcover)

For all the women of my generation who are confused and frustrated by the millions of options and pitfalls involved in combining career, family and self, this book is a strong answer to those questions. Peters writes clearly and well about the encouraging possibility that we can do everything we want without sacrificing ourselves, our families, or our careers. Sound impossible? That's because we've been brainwashed by the generations before us to believe that we must either be workaholics or stay-at-home mom. Thanks to Peters, we can now remember that there is a balance between them.