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Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules) Paperback – January 8, 2013

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  • Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating (The Rules)
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Editorial Reviews


"The Rules is a must-read." --People

"The Rules isn't just a book. It's a movement, honey." --Oprah Winfrey

"Even supermodels have to play hard to get... because it works. Not Your Mother's Rules is a smart look at how dating has changed--the Rules still hold true as ever!" --Cheryl Tiegs

About the Author

Ellein Fein and Sherrie Schneider are the authors of The Rules, The Rules II, The Rules for Marriage, and The Rules for Online Dating. They run a dating and relationship consultation service as well.

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Product Details

  • Series: The Rules
  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (January 8, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1455512583
  • ISBN-13: 978-1455512584
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (155 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #12,736 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider are bestselling authors and have established themselves as experts on love and relationships. They lecture widely and have helped millions of women worldwide!
Their fifth book is out Feb 8th 2013 Not Your Mothers Rules-the new secrets for dating!

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

87 of 95 people found the following review helpful By MortensOrchid on January 11, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
It has been nearly 20 years since Ellen and Sherrie first published a cultural jugernaut of a book called The Rules, a rather unexpected best seller that has us still talking no matter what we say otherwise. While I still turn to the first book for insights and advice (as many do), they needed to publish a supplement to it because things have changed rather drastically since it's first publication in 1995. The entire world was not carrying cell phones, did not go online for any purposes everyday, and there were no social networks. At last, the supplemental materials have been published on how to be a Rules Girl in the digital age. Like it or not, technology has changed us as a people.

Firstly, this book is addressing both Rules girls of a certain age (from 18 to 80) who are either the dyed in the wool Rules Girls like their example of the fictional Melanie from their first book or Born Again Rules Girls who have tried and failed by being the aggresor. This book also addresses a unique situation that was latent - mothers who are trying to train their daughters to be Rules Girls in the digital age. Even though I am far more mature (at age 38) than when their first book was published, technology did allow some latent problems and affects. Even if Mom is trying to tell her daughter to do and not do this or that, Mom has little to no control over what her daughter is or isn't doing online (and may not know how to use techno toys in order to instruct correctly). What to do? This book supplies you with some excellent pointers on how to deal with remaining a CUAO in the digital age. Second, keep in mind that there are a few (and I do mean a few) among the population who still are not using modern technology for whatever reason.
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72 of 80 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on January 8, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In their first Rules book, dating experts Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider discuss the existence of two kinds of Rules girls: natural, innate Rules girls (the Melanies), and born-again Rules girls who needed a little help but eventually came around. Of the two types of women, my mother was the first and I was the second. She introduced me to The Rules at 15, right around when I was starting to date in high school.

The first time I read The Rules, I completely blew them off ("What if I want to make the first move?" "Am I supposed to sit around waiting for someone to contact me?"). But a couple of years (and a few heartbreaks) later, I'm now a by-the-book, die-hard Rules girl. Lucky for me, I'm still only 18, and by introducing me to The Rules, my mother saved me from years of emotional damage by starting me off early.

The 1995 version of The Rules, while still conceptually relevant, doesn't have all the details that girls today need. Hey, in 1995, there was no Facebook, Twitter, or Skype. But lucky for girls like me who had tons of questions on today's dating scene, Fein and Schneider wrote Not Your Mother's Rules! This book, in a clear, concise way, explains everything from:

--How long to wait to respond to a text (with a timetable based on age)
--Whether or not it's okay to add the man you like on Facebook
--How often we can post status updates and tweets without giving up our air of mystery
--How to handle video chatting and long-distance, study abroad relationships
--The use of emoticons in online convos with men
--For the gay and lesbian community, how to handle same-sex relationships
--How to maintain your balance in a relationship (and not give up your friends for any man!), and more!
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45 of 49 people found the following review helpful By AmazonShopper on January 27, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I bought this last night and finished it this morning. This book has brought me so much insight. It's scary that I've gone this long and not really realized how many things I was doing wrong. Dating and relationships during my 20's and 30's have been such a wreck and I never changed my bad habits because I just didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I related to every story in this book it's really sad. Even now after my last breakup of 3 weeks up until yesterday I kept thinking if I just did things differently (not by going by the rules because I didn't have any idea this was even out there) we would still be together. I keep blaming myself instead of just taking it for what it is, he wasn't the one for me. I broke every rule with him and all the others. Yesterday I was still crying on my couch hoping for a text or a call letting me know he was an idiot and he was wrong for breaking things off. Today, I'm more empowered to believe that the relationship we had does not define me. I am more than I believe I am. This book, as crazy as it sounds, really woke me up. Even for those women who already know or think they know they are doing all the right things, this book is still a good read. Even if it's just to confirm you are heading down the right path or have been down that path this whole time, or even better to share with a friend that needs this. No more broken hearts, no more sadness (at least not as long as I thought it was going to be), no more questioning "what is wrong with me?". When I start to remember the good times with my ex, I will make myself remember the times that should have been my red flags. He wasn't the bad guy, he is actually a great catch, but he isn't my catch.Read more ›
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