There are really only two channels on the controller, A and C. To set the heli to the desired channel, first set the controller's channel to either A or C with the heli turned off. Then turn on the controller, point it at the heli, and THEN turn on the heli. Apply throttle via the controller and the heli should respond. These instructions are described in the user guide that came with the heli.
Occasionally, the helicopter will not respond right away. Depending on which model you actually received, there is a small light inside the heli that will either start blinking when it's connected or stop blinking if it was. I've owned about 5 of these, each one is slightly different. Just be patient, and check the light.
Mine took a minute or two to respond after taking out of the factory sealed box this week. I suggest pointing it directly at the heli since it is an infared system like a tv remote. Once it 'connected' I didn't have a delay. Good luck.
You don't set the heli. On the bottom or elsewhere you should find a sticker for an A, B, or C, that's the freq. for the heli, then set your controller for the same as the heli. You should be good to go with a charge up. Lew