Customer Reviews

Notes from Nethers: Growing Up In A Sixties Commune

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Sandra Eugster tells a compelling story about her experiences growing up on a sixties commune. She is thrust into an adult life-style without the background and skills to cope with it, and certainly not by choice. The book gives a rich and detailed picture of life on a hippy commune. For those of us who lived during the same times in a more conventional way, it paints a colorful canvas of an alternative way of life. The author's relationship with the other members of the commune, her mother, and sisters involves the reader emotionally and keeps one wondering what could possibly happen next.
I highly recommend Notes from Nethers: Growing Up In A Sixties Communeas an informative and entertaining real life memoir.

Notes from Nethers: Growing Up in a Sixties Commune is the true-life memoir of author Sandra Eugster, largely centering around her adolescence in a commune in rural Virginia in the late 1960s and early 1970s. The commune Nethers, started by Eugster's mother Carla, was meant to promote social change and grounded in the counterculture of the era. Immersed in the culture shock of commune life at the tender age of nine, Eugster had to adjust along with her older sisters to the complexities of commune life, weekly consensus meetings, days of silence, sweat-hut rituals, and more. Yet even more challenging was making the re-adjustment to the outside world after the commune dissolved - studying for SATs (given that her own education ended at third grade), and gradually learning social skills that she'd never had the opportunity to cultivate amid years of isolation from "normal" people her own age. "The wish to return to innocence came with the thought that by removing the barriers between adult and child, the children could be the bridge back to innocence. But the force of nature goes the other direction, and many children lost their innocence devastatingly early. I often think I was fortunate not to have been molested. But in a sense I was. My exposure to sexual matters was premature, as was my close contact with extreme human peculiarities and, ultimately, the harsh reality of adults doing what was right for themselves as opposed to their charges." Highly recommended as a matter-of-fact glimpse into what commune life was truly like: the good, the bad and the ugly.

No need to reinvent the wheel: read the 3 star review by Caraculiambro for insight to what this book is like: Innocent, slow paced, heart-warming... all not bad things if that's what you're looking for. If, however, you're interested in reading about a classic '60's commune try Huerfano: A Memoir of Life in the Counterculture.

I spent a year at Nethers as a student and was fascinated to read Sandy's take on it. Our experiences were so different! For me, it was a growthful experience that left me so much more open and emotionally healthy--just what I imagine Carla was hoping for when she started the school. It's sad that her own daughter profited less than many others did. Sandy is a terrific writer; this book is well worth reading. I hope, too, that someone who experienced more of the magic and the vision of Nethers, and who had a more adult insight into the people there, will follow up with their own book. Perhaps 'Mark'? (Sandy gives pseudonyms to nonfamily members). Or 'Laurel'? Or 'Suzanne'? There are so many fascinating people and events that I long to hear recounted whose stories have not yet been told. Also, if anyone from Nethers would like to get back in contact with one another, I will facilitate creation of an email loop--email me at [...]. One last thing--'Ethan' didn't hack computers--his interest was strictly in exploring the intricacies of the phone system--and the rumor that he had a sex change operation is unfounded (although pretty funny).
'Debra' (and yes, they're totally real, without pill-enhancement, and even more fabulous ;-))

I picked up this book because I was curious about what life might have been like in a typical 60's commune. Although Eugster has really a situation, not a story, you keep reading just to find out what the next kooky thing is. But after finishing, I found myself only partially satisfied since:

1. First of all, Eugster was just a kid when all this was happening, living at the commune from age 8 till about college age. Further, she was taciturn and withdrawn by her own admission. Therefore she must have been out of the loop regarding the crazier sex- and drug-based happenings on the commune.

2. But even if that doesn't interest you, the perspective of Eugster (now writing in middle age) remains that of a child, so an adult's take on the philosophical foundations, the contradictions, and the ultimate purpose of the project is missing.

3. I'm awfully suspicious of Eugster's "memories." She's recounting something that happened when she was 9, yet she's able to reconstruct dialogue verbatim, tell you who was wearing what, and what the weather on a certain day was? I'm sure that nearly all memoirists of their childhood take liberties, but Eugster's seemed particularly unbridled.

4. The pictures included midway through the book are highly unsatisfying.

5. Most importantly, since Sandra wasn't old enough to have planned or built the commune, and not old enough to appreciate its freedoms, what we're basically left with feels like any memoir of what it was like to have grown up in a rural setting. Heck, cut about 15 pages from this and what you have is indistinguishable from a memoir about growing up on a farm.

A must read for any parent or anyone thinking about becoming a parent!

Not a how-to-parent book by a psychologist or parent, but a courageous and chilling account of growing up in a 1970's commune with parents who did not understand that being a parent means devoting your life to your child or children, not to your hobbies or careers or simply the things that interest you (a commune in the case of Sandra's mother or work in the case of her father).

Eugster describes her lonely, confusing life without an accessible adult (they're all too consumed in their own pursuits) who can help her understand the complexities of growing up and perplexities of adult behavior. She has no reassuring adult who asks "How are you today? Are you feeling okay? Can I be helpful in any way?"

To today's parents or would-be parents, if you can't make your child or children your most important life-work, that's fine. Just don't have them thinking that you can go about your life as if they don't need you.

Oh, by the way, Eugster's writing entertains anyone who loves language. With a few words, she captures a situation, as when being chased by a pack of dogs, she feared becoming "Alpo in an instant," or when a commune teenager decided to "get on the yellow bus of convention" to attend a public school instead of the commune school.

Don't delay. Read the book today for guidance for parents, a child's view of growing up, and simple pleasure.